While the garbage taker outer is away...

I clear clutter.

My husband is out of town for the week.  He's visiting his family in the mid-West.  His nephew is getting married.  It's his second marriage, so we didn't think it was necessary for me to use vacation time and go along with him.  He decided to drive.  It's 1000 miles.  Since it's a long drive he decided to incorporate a visit to his aunt's lake house and visit his aunt and his cousins.  It's on the way and he loves it there.  He spent much of his youth visiting his aunt and uncle and cousins at that house in the summers.  It feels like home to him.

While he's gone I have to take care of the dog and the house and do the chores he typically does.  One of those chores is taking out the garbage.  This is an opportunity to put things into the garbage that often get taken out when the regular garbage taker outer takes out the garbage.  This is what I hear at these auspicious times.  "Hey!!! Why are you throwing THIS away?"  Yeah, when the regular garbage taker outer isn't here, I don't have to hear that.

So I'm taking advantage of this time.

Since I'm telling you all of this I thought I would share a little something something I found on the internet about decluttering.  This is from a post from Colleen Madsen of 365 Less Things. (the comments are mine)
1. Stop the Flow of Stuff Coming In. Decluttering is a waste of time if you simply replace the old stuff with new. Determine today to buy less. Trust me, you won’t regret it.  You've seen the TV show Hoarders, haven't you?

2. Declutter at Least One Item a Day. Decluttering does not have to be a mad frenzy that disrupts your entire household.  She says one item a day.  I like to use the biblical number of perfection and throw out seven items each day.  You can do what you like, but throwing things away is a good thing.

3. Declutter the Easy Stuff First. There is no need to make things difficult by trying to declutter the hardest things first.  Yep, baby steps.  Start with the things that are cluttering up the inside of your drawers before you start getting rid of the furniture.

4. Put a Disposal Plan in Place. Make a plan for your junk.  eBay, Freecycle, Craigslist, and our local thrift store are my favorite disposal options.

5. Decide to Not Keep Things out of Guilt or Obligation. Your home should only contain the things you love or use. You don't have to keep that ugly painting your sister-in-law gave you as a wedding gift. Seriously, throw that kind of stuff away.

6. Do Not Be Afraid to Let Go. The urge to hold on to items you think you might need someday can be eliminated simply by being realistic about what need really is.  When you think about it (or watch Hoaders) and you think you may use something you find in your closet or garage or junk room (oh please, if you have a junk room you are in desperate need of this blog post) throw it out.  That's what stores are for. Stores are for buying things you need, right now.  Not later.

7. Gifts Do Not Have to be Material. Give clutter-free gifts. Encourage people to follow this concept when buying gifts for you. Cash is a great gift.  And if you are cleaning out a drawer and you find cash, put it in your wallet.

8. Do Not Over-Equip Your Home. You don't need enough kitchenware and bedding to supply the 7th fleet.  Buy what you need.  Not more.

9. Do Not Declutter Things that are not Yours Without the Owner’s Permission. Everyone should have a choice about their own belongings, even small children. Honor them by allowing them to choose. You can encourage hoarding tendencies in others by ripping things away from them before they are ready to let go. (actually, this surprised me.  I'm sharing it with you even though I'm tossing stuff while my husband is away.  I can't imagine asking him about every little thing.  that being said, I would never toss something that I knew was dear to him without asking.)

10. Do Not Waste Your Life on Clutter. Don't let your stuff control your life.  Your stuff has needs.  It needs to be cleaned, fixed, insured, moved, etc., etc.  Spend you life with the people you love.  Spend your life doing what you love to do.  Get rid of things that are barriers between you and your life.

391.  Spellcheck
392.  Texting
393.  Photoshop
394.  Google maps
395.  Gmail private messaging
396.  Scanning
397.  Blogs
398.  Bloggers
399.  YouTube
400.  The Internet!!!

Clearing out the good stuff

I've written here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here about clutter and how I don't like it, but I still have some and I want to get rid of it all.  (there are even more posts on clutter, if you check My Road to Happiness cloud, but I got tired of making the links)

As you see, clearing clutter is important to me.  You know if you have clutter.  All you have to do is open up your closet or the trunk of your car or look for a place to set the mail on the counter where there isn't already a pile and you can see if you have clutter.  You can have a cluttered mind, too.  Are you trying to read the bible or the newspaper, for that matter, and you have the tv blaring?  Are you checking your facebook newsfeed and talking on the phone at the same time?  Do you check your emails while you are talking to your husband?  Does anything get your complete attention? 

Clutter.

You look in your closet and see clothes with the price tags still on them.  Maybe you have 20 pairs of bluejeans.  Or you see shoes that you've only worn twice.  Maybe you have over 100 ties.  This stuff is all good stuff.  These things have value.

You look in the trunk of your car and you see 25 reusable grocery bags and two sets of jumper cables and an extra spare tire and four screw drivers and a couple lunch boxes.  This is all good stuff.  This stuff has value.

Our bible reading and newspaper reading and emails and phone calls are important.  There is important information out there in the big wide world.  We need to keep up on what is happening in the European Union and the stock market and the election and what our neighbor-down-the-street's kid has accomplished lately.  This stuff is all good stuff.  We need to know this stuff.

Let me suggest to you that an over abundance of stuff, even GOOD stuff is not a good thing.

If you've, at any time, watched an episode or two of (my guilty pleasure) Hoarders on A&E you know there are basically two types of hoarders.  Those who don't throw ANYTHING away (yep, that's a flat cat) and those that buy buy buy, but never use.

Yep, even too much of a good thing can become a bad thing.

I know I can get caught up in believing that some of my clutter has VALUE and I shouldn't just toss it out because that would be WASTEFUL.  (btw, I must tell you that two of my brothers have the hoarder gene, which I am certain my father has, so there is a very good chance I have the recessive gene, therefore I may have some latent tendencies.  yeah, I know I do, after all, my son is a full-fledged hoarder.)  Anyway, I have to use some very positive self-talk to get me to throw things out that I think I may want to sell on eBay or an on-line yard-sale on fb or craig's list.  The self-talk I find the most effective is to remind myself that I am clearing space in my life to allow room for the BEST stuff.  I'm clearing out my closets from out-of-style clothing that may not even fit and ties that are too wide or too narrow to look even remotely stylish.  I'm clearing my trunk of junk that prevents me from taking home groceries from the store and feed my family.  I'm clearing out the good stuff to make space for the BEST stuff.  And sometimes that BEST stuff is peace and serenity.  And sometimes that BEST stuff is time with your family because your house is easier to clean.  And sometimes that BEST stuff is a good night's sleep in a bedroom free of dust and junk on the bed.

Along with the clearing of the good stuff, my mind can be cleared, as well.  When I look around and see empty flat counters and tables and chairs I can focus my mind on one thing at a time.  I can read a book or do a bible study or have a conversation and I don't have to distract myself from whatever annoying thing that is going on that I don't want to think about.  There will be no critical voices in my head telling me I should clean or clear.  I can be still.  I can be.

Paul said in Philippians 3:12-14, "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

When I clear the good stuff from my house and car and mind, I can focus on the best stuff.  And just like Paul says, when I'm striving for this goal I will forget (all about the good stuff I just threw away) what is behind me.  I will focus and press on toward my goal to win the prize (the BEST stuff). 

Continuing my list of 1000 gifts and continuing to be grateful
429.  Diving into the book of Mark and getting more out of it than I ever have before
430.  Having the house to myself (sort of)
431.  Tomato salad for lunch and supper
432.  Finding time and energy to read fiction (and escape into my imagination)
433.  Clearing my inbox of all red flags (yay, fires are all out)    

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose

"Nothing don't mean nothing honey if it ain't free, ..."  Sing it, Janis!  I hope I've got this song stuck in your head.

Lately I've had this song stuck in my head.  I've been feeling very anxious about clearing the clutter and, just plain STUFF I have in my house.  I'm falling asleep at night and waking up in the morning with this one thought on my mind.  "I've got to get rid of all this stuff."  It's starting to choke me.  I'm feeling weighed down by my stuff.

Yesterday I went to the store because I needed new pants and shirts for work.  Can you believe I couldn't find any black pants?  Well, I couldn't.  So, I'm wearing my old black pants.  I could, however, find a brown pair of pants, so I bought them.  I also bought three new shirts.  Yay.  When I go home I threw away three old shirts and an old pair of brown pants.  Gone.  I don't need extra stuff.  The reason I went to the store was to get new clothes because the old pants and shirts were looking shabby.  I am not saving shabby clothes.  I don't need "clean the house" clothes or anything of this sort.  And, no one wants my worn out shabby clothes.

I need to start emptying drawers and cupboards.  I need to have less stuff.  I've always felt I needed to sell my old stuff.  Now I'm beginning to think I need to get rid of the stuff.  I tried to toss some things away last week.  I was thwarted in my efforts by both my husband and my son.  They saw the stuff in the garbage and they said, "hey, who's throwing my stuff away?"  Mind you, the stuff I tossed had been sitting on a table in the spare room for no less than three years.  Seriously!  Three years!  But it was precious to them.  My new way of getting rid of stuff will be to double bag it and THEN toss it in the trash.  No way will I allow them to garbage pick it back out.  Stuff HAS to go.

The next things going out of the house on eBay will be collectibles that no longer have any value whatsoever, to me.  Btw, they have no collectible value, either.  Gone will be Lladros, Nao by lladro, Longaberger baskets, etc.  If you like any of this kind of thing and you don't follow me on Twitter or my Facebook page, you'd better start now.  The stuff has to go and it has to go soon.

I want to be free.  I want to be free of my stuff.  'Cause freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.  I've been watching my co-worker freeing herself of all her belongings and I've never seen her look happier.  I want to feel the feeling of only possessing things I use all the time or things I love.  I want to focus my time and energy on the people in my life, not the things.  I'm ready to let it go.

I've discovered a lot of bloggers in the "less is more" genre.  Leo Babauta and Matt Baker and Beth Dargis are a few of my favorites.  These blogs encourage me to live more with less.  Leo and Matt may be a bit hard core in the minimalism.  Matt has taken photographs of all his stuff.  He doesn't have much.  Leo, from what he says, has very few possessions.  I don't think it's necessary to go quite this far,  but you can learn a lot from them.  I am encouraged by Mariza.  She went from a huge single family home to living in an RV.  She does it with such style.  I'm not sure I could make it to this level, but the desire is burning in my soul.  Who knows, maybe I can do this, too.

168.  Encouragers in the quest to live with less
169.  Bloggers showing me how to live with so much less
170.  Bloggers living with less, yet living with style
171.  For having more than I need and yet wanting to live with less

2012, the secret to living well

I was hoping to blog about my New Year's resolutions and changes I want to make in my behaviors, etc.  Instead, I'm going to write about the lessons I learned from falling in the shower this morning while getting ready to return to work after my 10-day break.

First of all, I heard this truth quite a few years ago.  Here goes, "The secret to living well into your old age is, Don't Fall Down."

This is the truth, people.  Don't fall down.  If you fall when you are a young person, it's annoying.  When you fall, as an older person, it is devastating.  Luckily, I didn't hurt myself too bad in this particular fall.  I'm not going to kid myself.  I'm going to be feeling aches and pains from this slip and fall for quite a while.  As I sit here in this cold room I can feel my lower back seizing up.  I can feel my left wrist beginning to hurt.  (and I don't really remember what I did to my wrist.  I guess I tried to catch myself.  hilarious.)  And, my butt hurts.  (tmi?)

What have I learned from this experience?  I mean, what's the point of surviving a near-tragic accident if we don't learn anything from it.

The first thing I learned is, clean up after yourself.  Yesterday, I took a bubble bath to relax.  I can't remember the last time I took a bubble bath, but there you have it.  At the end of the bath I thought it would be a good idea to give myself an invigorating scrub with a sea-salt/oil scrub I have had sitting by the side of the tub for longer than I can remember.  It seemed like a good idea to begin the new year by exfoliating all the dead cells from my 2011 body.  I rinsed off and let the water drain away.  I dried myself off and dressed for my small group bible study.  Here's where I made my first mistake.  I should have rinsed out the tub.  I should have cleaned all the residual oil out of the tub.  The slip and fall would have been avoided and I would be writing about exercise or dieting or smiling more often, whatever.  Clean up after yourself.  This is a good resolution to make for 2012.  It will save you a world of hurt and, seriously, all your family members (read - wives or moms) will love you all the more.  :)

Secondly, I learned I really need to strengthen my abdominal muscles.  I have to admit, I fell fairly slowly, as falls go.  Had I had stronger abs, I may not have fallen all the way to the ground.  I may have been able to catch myself and not hit bottom quite so hard.  So, here is the ubiquitous new year resolution, exercise more in 2012.  I think having a strong core can save a world of hurts.  It is certainly good for balance and supporting a lower back.

Lastly, function over form.  I don't have a non-slip bath mat in my tub because I've always thought they look ugly.  I depended on the slight texture imprinted on the porcelain bottom of the tub.  Big Mistake.  I will be going out shopping for a non-slip bath mat for my tub as soon as possible.  Form following function.  This is an architectural truism and I'm going to make it a credo in my life.  Ornamental foo-foo is not essential.  It has, in fact, become dangerous as I grow older.  As I write this, I see this lesson goes to another ubiquitous resolution, clearing clutter.  Form over function.  If it does not have a function in my home or my life, it does not need to be in my home or my life.  This year I will be ruthless in the quest for minimalism in my life. 

It seems this post has ended up to be a resolution post without even trying.  Happy New Year and a Blessed 2012 to you all.  Now, back to the grindstone, salt mine, get your ass in gear, get back in the saddle, or whatever work idiom you like to use.  The vacation is over.  :)

Initiative

I know I've written about "eating the frog" and getting the tough stuff done first, but developing initiative is something I struggle to have as a quality in myself and to teach to my son.

I'm currently on my winter break from work.  I work at a state college.  The state gives the staff the week between Christmas and New Year off work.  I often use this time as an opportunity to get away and visit my parents.  This year, however, I decided to stay home and reclaim my guest room and get a few more chores done around the house.

When I say I want to reclaim my guest room, I mean, I want to get all my son's stuff out of the guest room.  When a tree fell on our house during Hurricane Irene, it fell on the part of the roof over my son's room.  At that moment I told my son to hurry and get all his stuff out of his room and put it in the guest room.  I told him the ceiling could collapse at any time and if he wanted to save his stuff he had to get it out of his room as quick as possible.  After shouting in his face to snap him out of the shock he seemed to be in, he did just as I asked.

In the meantime, the drywall on the ceiling has been repaired, and painted, and the carpet has been cleaned.  Now I have two rooms in utter chaos. 

I am trying to motivate my son to get his room back in order.  In the process, I'm encouraging him to cull his possessions.  He has a serious amount of stuff.  Most of his stuff involves electronics and games.  There are a lot of wires and controllers and STUFF.

My son does not have a lot of initiative.  It seems he is paralyzed by the job set before him.  I can understand this paralysis, to a certain extent.  I struggle with a lack of initiative when it comes to doing something new.  Something I have never done before.  I get scared.  Even though the project may not be difficult, I find myself struggling to take the first step.

Today I am encouraging (read, nagging) my son to clear my guest room of his STUFF.  I'm trying to help him by giving him one box of stuff at a time to sort through, and then decide whether to keep or toss or sell.  So far, today is going pretty well.  (and by well, I mean we are not screaming at each other and some progress is being made)

The new project I want to start is to begin selling stuff on facebook.  I've discovered an on-line yard sale group in my area.  There are over 4000 members in this group.  I joined the group.  Now I need to start taking pictures and start pricing.  If this goes well, I can be having a yard sale every day of the week.  I'll let you know how I do.

Ps.  Another project I want to accomplish today is to make pounds of meatballs.  I bought a BUNCH of loose sausage from a local pig farmer.  I love to make spaghetti and meatballs and Italian wedding soup.  I need to make a bunch of big and tiny meatballs.  It's a lot of fun.  :)

A wish for boxes in my brain

Compartmentalization.  What a wonderful word.  Compartmentalization of thoughts and emotions.  Boxes in your brain.  I wish there was a pill I could take to increase my ability to compartmentalize.  It would be wonderful.

Compartmentalize (verb) - to separate into isolated categories.

Men are born with brains with a high ability to compartmentalize and a low ability to multitask.  I know I'm walking the edge of political correctness here, but let's just think biologically for now.  The male brain has a high ability to control emotions and a low relational orientation.  They have high project orientation and a high ability to "zone out" or act first and think about it later when in a stressful situation.

Women are born with brains that are highly empathetic and have a low ability to compartmentalize.  The female brain has a low ability to control emotions and high relational orientation.  Female brains have lower project orientation and a low ability to "zone out."  Women have a tendency to think first and act second, a more cautious response in a stressful situation.

These are generalized descriptions of male and female brain activity, there are always exceptions. 

I read an article by Rachel G. Baldino about understanding emotional compartmentalization.  She used the example from the Sept. 28, 2006 blog, Across the Great Divide, of the Monica Lewinski scandal during the Clinton administration.  She used the example of how President Clinton was able to continue to govern the country and continue in his marriage while this scandal swirled around his presidency.  President Clinton was able to continue in his day to day activities while the nation watched this scandal and impeachment unfold.  He was able to convince himself, if not the nation and the press, that what he had with Ms. Lewinski was neither sexual, nor did it have any effect on his performance as president of the United States.  I think this is a stunning example of how one can compartmentalize.

Ms. Baldino goes on to contrast Monica Lewinski's inability to compartmentalize her emotions, wearing all her emotions on her sleeve.  Linda Tripp is also discussed as a woman with the ability to compartmentalize her emotions by being duplicitous to Monica in her phone conversations.  Ms. Tripp was sympathetic and acted as a friend to Monica while simultaneously gathering (taping phone calls) information damaging to President Clinton.  I'm not sure if Ms. Tripp is an "emotional compartmentalizer" or just, what we women call, "two faced."

The point I found compelling was how President Clinton acted during this whole event.  I know if it was me I would have been a sick emotional wreck.  I would have been in bed, sick to my stomach.  In fact, I remember Mrs. Clinton lost a bit of weight during this ordeal.  She looked GREAT.

I don't know if I want to be able to completely compartmentalize my emotions and my life, but I sure wish I could do it better than I do it now.  My husband told me to "just stop thinking about it."  (whatever "it" is)  I wish I could do this.  I think my life would be so much easier if I could just store away the thoughts of my "terrible, horrible" mistake.  Or, if I could put the memory of the Great Confrontation (read, big crybaby session) I was forced to endure in a box and hide it away.  But, I'm a woman and this is not our natural disposition.  On the upside, I am GREAT at multitasking.  :)

Sorting the stuff

This is a little post regarding the ongoing saga of my family's recovery from Hurricane Irene.

Last Friday the insurance adjuster made it out to our home.  My husband handled this all on his own.  He did a pretty good job.  He was completely focused on the roof and the damage in the attic.  And why wouldn't he be?  This is where he has spent most of his time and energy.  I counted on him for this.  We also have to have our deck replaced.  They dropped the tree on the deck while removing it from the roof of our house.  Our deck no longer meets code, so no one will repair it.  It has to be replaced.  Also, we have about a dozen other trees that are either down or leaning that need to be removed.  I depended on my husband to remember to deal with all these things.  I, however, was thinking about the interior space of the rooms.  I was thinking about the dry walling, the carpeting, the painting, the STUFF.  I called the insurance adjuster today and left a voice-mail.  I hope she will call me back.   *Please Heather, call me back.*

But, back to the STUFF.

I remember making a statement in my post, Goodnight Irene, while I was still in shock about my house being broken.  I remember saying something about it being a positive opportunity to clean out my son's room of STUFF.  Obviously I was in shock.  Obviously, I didn't know what the heck I was saying.  There is NOTHING positive about this experience in ANY way.  Ok, I'm sorting through my son's stuff.  With him.  I have discovered my son is,... sort of,... a hoarder.  He gets this from his father and possibly from a recessive gene on his mother's side.  *sigh*

Now we are back from vacation and hip-deep in the work of restoring our home.  Of course, my son did nothing on the sorting of stuff on his own.  Because, seriously, he thinks it is all precious.  Oh my.

I've told you I'm a fan of the show Hoarders.  I know those people have a mental illness and cannot be shamed into cleaning up their act.  So, I was gentle with him.  At least, I was as gentle as I can be with anyone.  We started with clothing.  I convinced him to part with clothing that no longer fit him.  In fact, a couple times he came to the realization the articles of clothing were from his middle school years.  He was able to part with quite a bit.  It's a start.  I moved on to empty boxes.  I know this is a gene inherited from his father.  I cannot, for the life of me, understand the allure of the empty box.  However, I've seen the attraction my husband has for them, so I could understand there would be the same attraction here.  He was able to part with four empty boxes.  It's a start.  I can see this is going to be a long process.  I'm a little scared.  I think I may take to clearing stuff out in the middle of the night, just to get this job done.  *sigh*

I don't want to dwell on this area of my life, but right now, cleaning up and restoring my home seems to be swamping all other things I do right now.  I go to work, but when I get home I start working on the house.  This is my new NORMAL.  This is How My Life Is, for a while.  And I think it will be a long while.  I covet your encouragement and well wishes.  I intend to stay positive, but some days it is tough to do.  I'm seriously trying to let the negative go.  I try not to think about the people complaining that the tennis courts are still damaged and why don't we GET GOING and get them fixed.  It's amazing the attitudes some folks have.  Can you say empathy?

I certainly have more empathy than I ever had before.

Goodnight Irene

I survived the hurricane.  It wasn't fun.  They said it wouldn't be as bad as Isabelle, but it was worse, for me.  In the vernacular of hurricanes, "bad" is a relative term.  If you live near the water, the storm surge of a hurricane is bad.  This is because the wind and force of the water, especially at high tide, will come up and flood your house or yank your pier off its pilings or toss your boat up on the shore.  If you live in the woods, like I do, rain fall and wind are bad.  Irene had a lot of rain.  And a lot of wind.  Coupled with the crappy front we had come through on last Thursday (with tornadoes, thank you very much), the ground was saturated.  So, trees fell down.  And, sometimes your house is in the way of the tree's path of travel from upright, to the ground.

 And when a tree falls on your house, it doesn't mind sticking its branches into your roof.  

This lovely tree stuck three of its branches into our house.  This provided three large holes for water to run freely into our home.  So, you can imagine, for most of the night of Irene my husband and I bailed water out of our attic.  We put a bucket under each of the holes and proceeded to "bucket brigade" from the time of the tree falling, about 9:00 p.m., until the rain stopped at around 4:30 a.m.  I haven't pulled an "all nighter" in quite a few years.  And, there is a huge difference between studying all night and physically working all night.  My body hurts everywhere.

My son was the person most inconvenienced by Irene.  If you can see the window with the air conditioning unit sticking out (Yes, I have central air, but he feels his room doesn't get cool enough.  I'm not going to wear a sweater in July for his comfort.  Anyway, I digress), this is my son's room.  While my husband and I were bailing, I suggested he get everything out of his room and begin to pile it up in the guest room.  I told him the ceiling could collapse at any time.  Unfortunately, the excitement of the storm sort of paralyzed him.  I practically had to slap him to get him in motion.  In the end, he was able to empty most of his room and the ceiling hasn't collapsed as yet.  *sigh*

To make matters worse, a tree fell on my son's car.

 

This tree looks small in comparison, but, trust me, it's big.

 I, on the other hand, am trying to look at the positive in this situation.  What is positive, you may ask?  The biggest positive, for me, in this is the idea of getting my son to go through all his CRAP and cull and sort and basically clean up his stuff.  I'm just going to keep this thought running through my mind.  This is going to be my positive meditation each day until we have put this chapter of our lives behind us.

This is just my small story in the Hurricane Irene book of stories.  I am grateful it wasn't too bad.  I took a tour of my little neighborhood of 126 homes.  I stopped counting homes with trees on the roof at 40.  The neighborhood is unrecognizable.  Everyone was damaged in one way or another.  Thousands of trees are down.  Dozens of homes are flooded.  We can all commiserate in our tales of woe.  I'm so glad no one was hurt.  I'm grateful to have insurance.  I'm grateful to have a job.  I'm grateful to have my health and ability to clean up the mess.  I'm grateful to have a husband who knows his way around a chainsaw.  I'm grateful to have a son, who after an initial hiccup, stepped up and really helped get things working again.

We are going to be alright.  It's going to take time, but everything will be repaired, replaced and restored.  In the meantime, we have a big mess to clean up.

 This is a big pine tree.  Fast neighbors with chainsaws take half of it away quick.

 

 My son standing next to the root of the big oak

  I think there may be enough sun here to grow tomatoes next summer.  :)

 Trying to get the insurance company on the phone.

There are 20 more trees down around the property.  We will be working on this for a while.  Btw, if you need any firewood, you can email me.  Come over, you can take all you want, free.  :)

Home sweet home

I am glad to be home.  There is just something so good about home, even if you don't like where you live all that much.  It's yours.  Your bed.  Your couch.  Your space.  There is a serenity in going into your room and having your space and privacy.  I love to travel and visit people.  I love to eat out and talk and drink and socialize.  I REALLY love coming home.

So, I am home.  Yesterday I stayed home to catch up on the laundry and general "get back to a routine" that comes with a week of being away.  First of all, the dog missed us.  He may be old, and just about blind, and I'm pretty sure he's deaf, and has a hard time climbing the stairs, but he knows whether we are home or not.  So yesterday I stayed home all day and he stayed by my side the entire day.  Job one, done.  I helped the dog to feel secure and cared for again. 

Secondly, I had to do laundry.  Now, you may think this was a chore, but au contraire mon frere.  I was doing my laundry in a State Of The Art, High Efficiency Top Loading Kenmore Elite washing machine, with matching dryer.  *Let the oohing and aahing begin.  Yes, it was magnificent.  I must tell you, I have to learn how to do laundry all over again.  My laundry looked pitiful in this 7.4 cubic foot capacity machine.  Next time I do wash I'll post it as my status on fb and get my friends to bring their dirty clothes to my house, we'll have a party and everyone will go home with clean clothes and a pleasant attitude.  Wow, you can fit a lot of clothes or towels or bedspreads or WHATEVER in that baby.  But, like all good things, there is a down side.  I have no idea how this sucker works.  I cannot see how the clothes move around inside that agitatorless tub.  After you listen to the lovely chimes as the machine powers up, then select the method (and there are a lot of these, please hand me the instruction book), and then press START, the lid on the machine LOCKS.  Click.  Sounds I have never heard coming from a washing machine begin.  It is a complete mystery to me.  I cannot tell you how curious I am.  I need to do some kind of internet search to discover what is going on in there.  If any of you know, please share.  Seriously.  :)

My final joy in being in my own home was my opportunity to indulge in one of my guilty pleasures, Hoarders on A&E.  Oh my, it was a good one.  I dvr this program and I am not allowed to watch it while my husband is IN THE HOUSE.  The show creeps him out, completely.  I have to tell you; this particular episode was especially gag evoking.  I admit, I gagged.  The guy on this particular episode had a one year old and a two year old living in the trailer with him.  The two year old had a cough that rattled MY stomach.  The psychologist sent to TALK TO this guy, and by talk to I mean hit him upside the head with a 2"x4", said it was the worst smelling place she had EVER been.  And she does this for a full-time job.  In fact, I had to pause the show and collect myself.  It happens.  This particular episode motivated me to clean out my pantry.  I couldn't feel good about myself until I had thoroughly purged and cleaned my pantry.  I had Kool Aid packets in there that were 15 years old.  *hanging head in shame*  I don't make Kool Aid anymore.  I had those Cookies in a Mason Jar things from two Christmases ago.  Yeah, I was becoming a hoarder.  My pantry is the picture of organization and freshness.  I feel SO MUCH better about myself.

So, home sweet home.  I'm here for a couple weeks and then off to Reno, NV for the Naval Aviation Tailhook convention.  I'm going to have to bring back pictures from this trip.  The way I've been traveling this summer, maybe I should be writing a travel blog instead of a slice of life blog.  Hmmm.

Less is more. It's happiness.

"To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness."  Bertrand Russell

This was my fb status today.  Everyday I post a quote from a philosopher, poet, celebrity, or artist with the word "happy" or "happiness" in it.  Some of them are quite silly.  Some of them are quite deep.  Today's quote is really making me think.  This quote is contrary to what most Americans believe, in my opinion.  I know my son believes having "things" will make him happy.  He's a collector.  I've watched our government struggle to deal with the national debt crisis.  I've heard politicians say they are unwilling to give up programs and entitlements the country can no longer afford.  I've heard politicians say they are unwilling to ask the American people to give them more money to pay for these programs and entitlements.  I will be keeping my opinion on this crisis to myself, since I'm not a ranting political blogger.  But, I have opinions.  I've mentioned before, one of my guilty pleasures is the tv show Hoarders.  I understand this show is about people with an actual mental illness when it comes to having "things."  I know there are LOTS of people with a desire for things beyond their needs.  Can you say "self-storage centers."  By the number of those facilities I notice in my travels, we Americans should be SUPER happy.  We have so many things we can't even fit them all in our homes.

Bertrand Russell was a philosopher.  He investigated the concept of happiness.  One of his concepts for attaining happiness was to keep zest in one's life.  Russell equated zest for life as hunger is for food.  He said we should work for our happiness.  It shouldn't come to us easily.  Happiness is a desire that is best fulfilled when there is a difficulty to overcome.  We are the most happy when we succeed at something taking great effort to attain.  This draws me back to our political situation.  I remember the surprise and applause and general happiness sweeping through the House chamber when the Honorable Gabby Giffords entered to vote on the bill.  It wasn't whether her vote was to be yea or nay.  It was her presence in Washington after suffering a gunshot wound to the head.  It was the very fact she had overcome great hardship to be in that chamber.  This was the source of the happiness at this hour.

Russell believed the greatest deterrent to happiness was, what he called, "the disease of over self-absorption."  This is something I wholeheartedly agree with.  We, as humans, are happiest when we think of others and take the focus off ourselves.  We are social creatures and sometimes, I'm afraid, our diminishing face-to-face contact through use of social mediums, digital communication, electronic warfare, etc. is crippling us in this aspect.  The biggest danger of this disease of self-absorption is to begin to see others as objects of comparison.  This is a dangerous game to play.  Coveting our neighbor's wife.  Keeping up with the Jones'.  By interacting, face-to-face, with other humans we have a chance to develop empathy and see other as people and save ourselves from self-absorption.

Being without is the only way to develop desire.  And, not every empty space needs to be filled with "things."  Today's quote struck a cord with me and my desire for minimalism.  It encourages me to keep freeing myself of my stuff and move on with my life.

Stuff love

I've recently been surrounded by complaints, laments, praises, frustrations and the like regarding aging and ailing parents.  I'm a baby boomer and I've shared about the loss of my mother-in-law last month.  My parents are both alive and well, but aging and all that comes with aging.  And, a co-worker is sitting vigil for her mother this week.  There is no getting around it, this is tough stuff.  Our parents are children of the depression era.  I don't know if this is true for any of my readers out there, but I find these folks like their stuff.  I mean a lot of stuff.  And, they like their stuff.  And, they DON'T like you messing around with their stuff.  So, let me tell you a couple stories.

I'll begin with my parents and let me tell you, I love them.  I LOVE my parents, but I HATE their stuff.  Recently I posted about the strangely inflated price of silver.  Well, since I grew up with my parents I knew my dad had collected coins.  Lots of coins.  I usually don't talk to my dad about his stuff, because it's HIS stuff and he likes his stuff and he knows I DON'T.  Anyway, I called him and said, "Hey dad, silver is selling for an unusually high price these days and DH and I are selling some of our silver on eBay and getting some really good money for it.  Do you still have the coins you collected when we were kids?"  No answer.  He didn't want to talk about it.  He told me he didn't know and really wasn't interested in checking.  Hmmm.?.  To make a long story short (and I really have to do this because this is kind of a long story and I really am not a strong writer.  I like using fewer words than more, etc. etc.)  After three days of calling him in the morning and evening of each day and bringing the conversation back around to his coins EVERY SINGLE TIME, oh yeah, and I even had my DH speak to him at least once, but I think it may have been twice.  *sigh*

I really am like a dog beautiful princess with a bone.

He consented to look in his safe.  Finally.  Now, this was no easy task.  Evidently he had not opened this safe in over 20 years.  So, there was a lot of crap stuff piled in front of the safe.  I am grateful for his willingness, albeit nagged out of him by yours truly, to go through some of his stuff while he is still alive and able to do it.  He has agreed to let us sell the collection.  I am so happy.  I'm hoping he can make enough money to afford to have new carpet put in the first floor of their house.  I know my mom would really LOVE that.  We will see and fingers crossed.

Now, you have to TRUST me.  This is the Readers Digest condensed version.  Seriously, this was a TOUGH process.

Now, let me tell you about my mother-in-law.  This was a woman who knew how to let go of stuff.  She was organized and prepared and showed so much love for her children by paring down her stuff.  My mother-in-law, sweetly and lovingly was preparing for her death.  When her children went to her apartment they found a to-do list on her dresser with what needed to be done after she passed.  There were a few items crossed off.  I think she may have lived a little longer than she expected and was able to start working on the list.  I think this is precious.  Now, I have to give some credit for her culling process to Mother Nature.  She had recently gone through hurricane Wilma.  It made her previous apartment unlivable and she had to move.  I believe some major separation of mother-in-law and stuff happened at that time.

To make a long (and still very sad) story short, my DH and his sisters were able to empty their mom's apartment in two days.  Two Days.  This was such a blessing.  It is a very hard thing to go through a loved one's possessions and not become emotional over and over again.  It is very hard to toss, donate, sell possessions that seem to have been dear to your loved one.  I think the less there is to do, in this regard, the better.  The truth is, in fact, one man's treasure is another man's trash (yes, I know you usually hear it visa versa, but in this instance the reverse is truer).

As to my co-worker, she is overwhelmed with the thought of dealing with the stuff.  And, it is scaring her to death.  I know I don't want to do this to my child.  I never want my stuff to get in the way of my relationships.  But, this is just me.

Silver Rush

I've shared in this little blog that I am clearing clutter in my home by selling items on eBay and packing them in boxes and shipping them to new homes.  I love it.  I love the thrill of the auction.  I love seeing my price go from RED to GREEN.  I just, downright, enjoy it.  But, I have to admit, it is a bit like a glorified garage sale for me.  I rarely get more money than I paid for the item I sell.  Well, once I had a stack of 12 Martha Stewart Living magazines go for $160.  I was BESIDE myself.  I had found a TREASURE in my closet.  Who knew?  However, this is FAR from the norm.  But, I still LOVE it.

My husband has decided to join in my fun.  And now to explain the title of this blog.  Silver is at an ALL TIME HIGH.  Currently silver is selling for $45 an ounce.  This is a very high price.  The last time silver was selling at this level was in 1980 when the Hunt brothers cornered the silver market.  There was a day known as Silver Thursday when the Hunt brothers were issued a margin call.  If you don't remember or know the story, enjoy.  Who says you can't learn anything on the internet and reading blogs is a waste of brain power.  Consider this a history lesson as well as an economics lesson.  Wow, I've certainly digressed.  My husband is a numismatist.  He really enjoys his hobby.  I have to say this was one of the sexy things I saw in him.  I mean, a guy who collects MONEY.  What is NOT SEXY about this???

Dear husband is selling some of his collection on my eBay account.  And IT IS EXCITING.  I'm hoping he will sell his coins for the price he hopes for.  I started all his auctions at $.99.  This makes me nervous, but whatchagonnado?  Feel free to take a look at his items.  It's going to be fun to watch his items sell.  *I hope*  I'm so happy he trusts me enough to put these items in my care.  He usually uses a professional coin trading company, but this time he's using ME.

If any of you have some dusty coin collections in your closets and have a need to make some extra cash, now is the time to consider selling.  Remember, we are talking Silver.  Check out the market, don't just take my word for it.  And, there is always a chance the price of silver will go even HIGHER.

This is not my typical prose for Emily's link, but I'm sharing an interest I have and something that is making my life a little more exciting than usual.  I hope you enjoyed it.

I took this picture

It's glowing spring

I just LOVE this time of the year.  The trees are beginning to glow green.  They aren't in full leaf, but in tiny buds.  The branches just radiate spring.  The daffodils are pushing out of the dirt.  The crocuses are littering the grass with purple and white and yellow flowers.  You see them and aren't sure if they are flowers or trash.  So, you look again and smile.  A flower.  This time of year gives me hope.  Hope that I can be new and get a "do over" for all the bad choices I made after my broken resolutions.  Hope that this will be the year I'll get rid of all my clutter.  Hope that I will be a better secretary.  Hope that I will drop a few pounds and tone some muscles.  Hope, just plain hope.  And, it feels good.  I'm going to enjoy these spring days.  They are precious and few in the mid-Atlantic.  Summer can burst forth at any second, so... we have to enjoy the getting while the getting is good.  I just LOVE this time of year.

New Year's Resolutions

Ok, it's WAYYYYY past new year's eve and why am I talking about resolutions?  I posted a blog about Tips for a Happier and Healthier Frame of Mind.  How have I incorporated this into my life?  Well, I'm exercising, I'm focusing on the positive and I'm decluttering my environment.  That's a start.  What do I want to say about changes in my life?  Exercise is a tough change.  It is way easier to sit on the couch than it is to get on the treadmill.  I'm trying.  I'm at the gym 3 to 4 days a week.  I want to be there more, but that's where I am now. I'm getting items on eBay every week.  I'm not making the kind of $$ I'd hoped to make, but I'm still making the effort.  This is a dilemma to me.  Should I put these items on eBay or just bring them to the thrift store?  Struggle.  Focusing on the positive... I've got a secret for you...I HATE my job.  My boss is a poor manager.  I struggle with complying with the requirements of my job and the way my boss tries to use me as a tool to get more productivity out of company employees than they provide on their own.  I AM NOT HIS TOOL.  I think I will talk to him about this tomorrow.  Oh well, maybe tomorrow is my last day.  We will see.

$0.99

I love eBay.  I love selling my stuff on eBay.  My husband thinks it's so funny.  He says I clean out my closets by packing everything in boxes and padded envelopes and bring it to the Post Office.  

I get a rush seeing $0.99 turn into $0.99 and then, if I'm incredibly lucky, $1.00 or $2.00 or even $3.00.  What a RUSH!  I really enjoy this as much as I really HATE garage sales.  I don't like people touching my things.  I don't like it when I've taken the time to put a price tag of $0.25 on something and then the buyer has the unmitigated gaul to offer me a dime.  Anyway, I like eBay.

I'm clearing my clutter.  I'm getting rid of projects I'm no longer interested in pursuing.  I'm freeing myself of clothes I will never wear again.  I'm creating empty shelf space.  I'm opening up room to breath.  I'm clearing space in my home for open space.

Possibilities.

Oh, and I made $10.98 last week.

Did I fail?

Ok, I didn't get to the gym today.  I don't think I should let this lapse define me.  I can go to the gym tomorrow, or the next day, or both.  This year I will not define myself by my failures.  I know this is what I've done the past 53 years of my life, but this year is going to be different.  I'm sitting on the couch watching Biggest Loser while typing this blog.  I'm sitting on my butt.  This show has the fattest people I've ever seen on it.  If they can change I can change.  I am going to think positively about this.

I listed five items on ebay and four of them are selling.  This makes me so happy.  I'm clearing clutter.  I would like to have the beautiful homes I see in the blogs of women I respect.  I need to start shedding items in my home I no longer need, love, or treasure.  I can do this.  I read a post by a person on my newsfeed that said "if you have more than you need you are stealing from another."  Now, I don't think he was right about this.  Having more things, food, money, etc. than you need is not "stealing" from anyone.  It is, however, gluttony.  I think the shedding of excess things will go along with my shedding of excess weight.

Now, is this the road to happiness?  I don't know the answer to this.  What I do know is that good health and a clean orderly environment will open me to doing things that make me happy.

My voice

It's all about the tenacity and stick-to-it-tiveness, isn't it?  Ok, I'm starting off on the right foot.  I'm clearing clutter.  I'm selling my clutter on ebay.  Awesome....one man's trash is another man's treasure.  I used to do this a couple years ago, but I had a nasty run-in with a coworker and yada, yada, yada...he was fired, but you know, these HR things can be really long and painful.  Anyway, I lost my momentum and ebay just fell off the radar.  Now, I'm back.  I want to clear clutter and hold on to what matters most to me.  This DOES make me happy.  I listed a few things and they are SELLING!  I hope to keep the momentum going.

And... I have a workout buddy ready to go on Tuesday.  She wants me to come to the gym on my lunch hour and exercise with her.  I HATE to exercise, but.. I will be there.  And I will let you, dear reader, hold me accountable (as well as the pants I can barely zip anymore).

Lastly, the thing that has made me the happiest.  I got a comment from two bloggers I LOVE.  EW from "in the hush of the moon" said hi to me and said my words touched her.  AND, then, B from "Farmgirl Paints" commented and thanked me for posting.   I just about jumped out of my skin, I was so happy.  My voice does make a sound..., and someone heard me.

Tips for a Happier and Healthier Frame of Mind

My goal for 2011 is to be happier.  *yeah, still working on that same old thing* I thought these tips would help me, so I shared them on my fb page and I thought I'd share them here. I copied these tips from here, but I added the Bible verses myself.

1. Recognize negative thoughts as they take shape and bury them before they take root. If you feel your mood darkening again, put a stop to these dangerous musings before you succumb to them. Rule your emotions, don't let your emotions rule you.

Proverbs 4:23,  Above all else, guard your heart,for it is the wellspring of life.

2. Hang out with people who think positive as well. This condition can be quite infectious.

1 Thessalonians 5:11,  Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

3. Just as contagious is a negative mindset. So avoid people who tend to think negatively on a constant basis. After all, who wants to hang around naysayers all the time? 

Ephesians 4:29,  Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

4. Work out and eat right. If you look good on the outside, it'll be easier to feel good on the inside, too.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20,  Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

5. De-clutter. Surround yourself only with the things you love and that make you feel good--framed family photos, favorite books, potted plants, works of art, or whatever else that's meaningful to you.

Luke 12:15,  And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

6. If people tell you you can't do something, take that as a challenge and prove them wrong. Chances are, they themselves can't do it or are too afraid to try and are simply bitter about it. If you show them it can be done after all, maybe they'll even be inspired by your success. You can be a living tip for positive thinking to them.

Philippians 4:13,  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

7. Just when you're about to blow your top for all the seeming misfortunes that befall you, remind yourself of all your blessings instead. This practice can be very sobering, indeed.

Psalm 136:1,  Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.

8. Be a volunteer or get involved in charity work. Not only will you realize the sheer number of people who have bigger problems than you do, but there is also such an emotional and even spiritual high to be experienced in helping others.

Acts 20:35,  In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

9. De-stress. You're more likely to be cranky if you're perpetually stressed out. So get away from it all and recharge.

James 4:8,  Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

10. Keep it up. Getting started is easy. It's the maintenance that's tricky. Make a habit out of thinking positively till it becomes an indelible part of who you are.

Hebrews 12:1-2,  Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.