Am I helping Girl-11 Family#1 or am I hurting her?

Tuesday I posted about the joy I feel about being able to be a part of bringing Christmas to a family that might not have been able to enjoy a traditional Christmas because of financial hardships.  I am happy about being blessed with enough finances and enough willingness to self-sacrifice and use our financial blessings wisely to be able to share these blessings with others.  It's true, there is real joy in giving.

Today I was looking at the list for the 11-year-old girl I'm giving gifts this year.  She made a list of what she wanted.  This year I don't have to ask my blog readers what the gifts listed are.  She wants clothes and a teacher Barbie.  I can figure this out.  There is a note on my list to tag the items Girl-11 Family#1.  Family#1 is the mom and dad and four children our small group is supporting for Christmas this year.  I will not know Girl-11's name.  She won't get to know my name either, because the school has asked us not to reveal this information.  So, there will be gifts to Girl-11 from "your friend."  This is so impersonal.  This breaks my heart at the same time it brings me joy.

I wish I could go over to Girl-11's house after work today.  I wish I could take her shopping today for Boy-7 Family#1's Christmas gifts.  I wish we could pick out ornaments for her to hang on the tree that will be at her house soon.  I wish we could choose a gift for mom Family#1 and dad Family#1 from Girl-11 Family#1.  Wouldn't that be fun!

What will Girl-11 Family#1 think about her Christmas this year?  What will she think about "her friend?"  Will she wonder who I am?  What about Family#1?  Will they think about the people sharing there blessings with them?  Or, will they think we are just rich people trying not to feel too guilty about our wealth at this "giving" time of year?

I have posted a few times questioning those people who consider themselves poor or whether they are just feeling entitled and are lazy.  I'm not judging Family#1.  I just wonder if I'm helping them or I'm hurting them.  It seems to me that Christian charity shouldn't be anonymous.  It seems to me that Christian charity should have a face and a smile and a hand on someone's shoulder.

I guess I can understand the anonymity the Public School feels is important to protect.  After all, they don't know me from Adam.  It's a shame we are losing community with our neighbors and there is so much distrust, even in a small town.  I'm praying over the gifts I purchase for Girl-11 Family#1 today.  I'm praying that somehow she knows they are from someone who cares and isn't rich, but just wants to share some of the blessings God has given to her.

734.  Christmas shopping for a little girl
735.  Office holiday party (this gratitude is marginal, at best, but I'm putting a smile on my face)
736.  Pandora Christmas stations
737.  Luke 2:1-20
738.  The opportunity to serve Family#1
739.  The color red
740.  Surprise cookie treats from the office supply guy
741.  The movie Elf
742.  Counting the days to a nice long break from work (we get a week and a half off!)
743.  Snuggling under the comforter on chilly mornings
744.  Having a fire in the fireplace ('cause having it in the kitchen would be dangerous)
745.  Seeing nativity sets in people's front yards

I'm sharing (again) with Emily at Imperfect Prose on Thursday's

You must choose a side of the road

Last night our small group bible study worked on the parable of "The Good Samaritan" from Luke 10:25-37.

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 

 “What is written in the Law?” Jesus replied. “How do you read it?”

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.” 

But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead.  A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.  So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.  But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him.  He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him.  The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’ 

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

This story challenges us to decide "which side of the road" we will choose.  I'll start with a few definitions to, possibly, clarify this story.  First the priest in this story is considered a direct descendant of Aaron, Moses brother, who as made a priest by God, as well as all his direct descendants.  Secondly, the Levite was a member of the tribe of Levi and were the readers of the Torah and caretakers of the Synagogue.  They were not allowed to own land and were cared for through tithes of the Israelites.  Lastly, the Samaritan is a member of race closely related to the Jews, but hated by the Jews because they inbred with pagans and worshiped pagan gods as well as the Hebrew G-d.  The verses do not say who the man attacked by robbers was, but I'm going to assume he was a Jew.

The crux of this story has to with the choice each traveler made as they came upon the injured man on the road.  The fact that the traveler choosing the injured man's side of the road in this story is a man from a group that has a deep cultural distrust of the group the injured man is a member of is the critical point of this story.

I had a very difficult time with this lesson.  In fact, I'm pretty sure I offended two members of the group, but I'm not completely sure.  I feel I am a generous person, but I'm not a very "hands on" person.  I'm an introvert and shy.  I told you in the "100 things about me" that I startle easily.  We talked about the homeless and indigent begging on the streets and asking for a handout.  I'm not good with this.  I'm afraid of them.  We talked about charities that have been accused and proven to have mishandled funds.  We talked about the outpouring of benevolence and charity after 9/11 and Katrina and then..., nothing.

Am I a "good Samaritan" if I am a constant giver to the specific charities I support?  I support Care Net pregnancy care centers.  I give to the church I attend, intermittently.  I gave to Samaritan's purse at Christmas.  Our small group adopted a family last Christmas.  Because I've never seen or spoken to the recipients of my giving, am I less than a "good Samaritan?"  And now that I've shared my giving, have I gone against the verse in Matthew 6:3 "But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing."  All these rules and boundaries about the righteous way to give.  Does it mean giving money is less noble than working in a soup kitchen?  Does is mean that buying Christmas gifts is less righteous than working in a prison ministry?  Does it mean that giving to a pregnancy center is less benevolent than passing out tracts on street corners and telling people that Jesus saves?  I say giving is giving.  I say, God loves a cheerful giver.  The verse from 2 Corinthians 9:7, "Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver," wasn't even in the lesson last night.

We talked about taking money out of the equation of being a good Samaritan.  We talked about being the encourager.  We talked about sharing the gospel.  We talked about being an influence for positivity at work.  These are the very things I struggle with.  Is this why there are both, the money and the hands on aspect in the good Samaritan story?

I've been told my bluntness, even about good things is "jaw dropping."  I've been told I'm not warm or fuzzy.  And, last night, I felt the cold shoulder of believers with more feeling in their MBTI.  This is where my struggles so often seem to be.  Can an introverted, thinker/judger be a good Samaritan? 

I think Jesus shared both, the pouring of oil and wine on the wounds and the giving of denarii to the innkeeper in this story.  Both are ways to be the good Samaritan to the needy.  I know which side of the road I would choose.

270.  Being encouraged to exercise my body
271.  A dentist that is truly painless
272.  Being able to talk to my mom on the phone, every day
273.  Godly people praying for reconciliation for my dad and my brother
274.  Seeing the joy in the face of a co-worker that is about to retire

Linking to Shanda at On Your Heart Tuesdays

Is it Thanksgiving or black Friday?

I've never been a fan of the black Friday.  I don't like the crowds.  I don't like the pushing and shoving and waiting in line.  That being said, I've become a fan of the Thanksgiving midnight madness.  Don't get me wrong, I don't want to participate, I want to gawk.  I have had the pleasure of strolling through the mall or outlet mall parking area looking at the people in line around the block to get into a store to save an extra 10% on an item that probably won't be appreciated and will most likely will end up costing 25% more because of the finance charges of the credit card company.  It's a spectacle that amuses me and saddens me, simultaneously.  This Thanksgiving evening, most likely, I will go and watch.  I will think about the dinner I ate this day while I walk and fool myself into thinking I'm exercising.  I will see the people in their pajamas, participating in a promotional gimmick.  I will see children awake and up way past an acceptable bedtime and observe them being trained in overspending and developing an entitlement mentality.  There will be thousands upon thousands of people participating in the madness.

My desire is to forgo the madness.  I don't want to be sucked into the whirlwind of the holiday frenzy.  I remember a day 21 years ago.  I lived in Monterey, CA.  It was during the Gulf War.  I felt so blessed.  My husband was in PG school and not stationed on a ship in the Gulf.  He was home with me and we were celebrating Christmas as a family.  We were sponsoring an Israeli  family.  The dad was in the Israeli Air Force and the mom was a stay at home mom, like me.  They had a little girl, I had a little boy.  One day we walked into town to walk the children and have time out of the house.  There were Christmas decorations all around and Christmas music playing.  The mom asked me a pointed question.  It was her first time in the U.S and she asked me, "Isn't Christmas a religious holiday?"  I looked around.  I couldn't see any evidence of a religious aspect to this holiday.  Here I was, an American Christian talking to a Israeli Jew and I couldn't explain the lack of religious identifiers anywhere around me.  And, this was 21 years ago.  And, this was in a country at war.  My Israeli friend was worried about SCUD missiles being rocketed into her country.  The fear of her friends and family being attacked with poison gas.  It made me a little sick to think I lived in a country where so many people weren't even thinking about the war and weren't thinking about the significance of the holiday they were celebrating.

We are now 10 years past 9/11.  We have been attacked on our soil.  Our country is at war, again.  I believe we are even further into the abyss and even more intentional in our ignoring of the religious significance of the holiday we celebrate.  I'm afraid we, who believe, may be becoming quieter and quieter about our beliefs.  We don't want to upset anyone.  We want to be tolerant.  We want to blame the government and the banks for our greed and impatience.  We want what we want when we want it.  I want to stop this madness, at least I want to stop it in my house.

What do I want for Christmas?  I want my house back together.  I want a closer relationship with my husband and son.  I want a closer walk with my Lord.  I wonder if these things can be wrapped and set under the tree?  I'm going to try.  I think my next Christmas project will be to send Christmas cards to wounded soldiers.

If you would like to reach out to a wounded hero this Holiday Season, here is a great options that will ensure your card makes it to a wounded warrior who needs to know someone cares.  (IMPORTANT NOTE:  Please avoid sending anything with glitter--it tends to get everywhere, of course, even in wounds and bandages.):
Send your cards to Soldiers' Angels.  They will be included in Holiday gifts for wounded warriors and hand-delivered at major military medical centers and VA facilities across the country:

You only have a few days left for this Christmas.

Soldiers' Angels

Cards for the Wounded

4408 N. PanAm Exprwy

San Antonio, TX 78218

25 things everyone should know

1.  If you don't have any money, you can't spend any money.
2.  To lose weight you have to expend more calories than you take in.
3.  It doesn't cost anything to be nice.  Compassion is a wonderful quality.
4.  If you borrow something, you should return it before you are asked to return it.  
5.  Please and thank you go a long way in relationships.
6.  When you make a promise to someone, keep it.  
7.  If something is too good to be true, it's not true and it's not good.
8.  There is always a winner and a loser and everyone in between.  Not everyone can be a winner.
9.  Being habitually late or keeping people waiting is a sign of arrogance, nothing less.
10.  A good night's sleep does wonders for your well being.  
11.  Drinking water is one of the best things you can do for your body. 
12.  Pay yourself first.  Make saving money a priority.
13.  Get some exercise.  It'll make you feel better and have a better attitude.
14.  Treat other people the way you would like to be treated.
15.  Pick up after yourself.  Don't leave your mess for someone to clean up behind you.
16.  It's a good idea to keep most of your opinions to yourself.  Opinions are like noses.  Everybody has one.
17.  Don't comment on facebook when you are drunk  
18.  Chew your food with your mouth closed and don't talk while you have food in your mouth.
19.  Telling the truth leaves less to memory.
20.  It's rude to text while you are talking to someone face-to-face.
21.  Be generous.  Give to charity or at least, pick up the check once in a while.
22.  Saying "I'm sorry" is a gift to yourself, as well as the person you say it to.   
23.  It's not a conversation if you are doing all the talking.  God gave us two ears and one mouth.  Use accordingly.   
24.  It's good to have a sense of humor about yourself.  It makes you more fun to be around. 
25.  You really are as happy as you decide to be.

There are more than 25 things people should know, but 25 is a good place to start.  I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

R-E-$-P-E-C-T

How do you 'respect' money???

This was a question put to me on fb in response to a comment I made on this particular status:   "The answer to true wealth and abundance isn't hard work, as if it was we would all be rich already"

I commented that it would helpful to respect money.  Now, I know true wealth and abundance isn't all about money.  This was just one comment made in a discussion about making money, acquiring wealth, and just generally, getting more money in your life. There are christian colleges online which offer degrees for that! The poster then responded with the question at the beginning of this post.  How do you respect money?
  
I guess I shouldn't be surprised at the question.  I see dollar bills crumpled on the floor in my son's bedroom.  I keep a piggy bank in my laundry room to collect the coins accumulating on the bottom of my washer.  I LOVE vacuuming the couch and finding all the coins in the cushions.  If I see a penny on the ground, I pick it up.  BONUS!!!

How do I respect money?
  
First of all, I take care of my money.  I keep my bills in my wallet neatly and arranged in denominations.  I keep my coins in a change-purse.  I empty the change-purse into a box on my dresser at night.  (my husband empties his pocket-change into this same box)  You may think this sounds compulsive, but I know how much money I have in my wallet.  I know how much money I'm carrying.  If you don't care for the ACTUAL bills and coins, do you know how much money you have on you at any given time? 

Additionally, I think about money in a positive way.  Please don't confuse this with the worship of money.  I don't worship money, I respect it.  Money is a tool.  A very useful tool.  And, it's a tool EVERYONE uses.  (Ok, I've heard about the moneyless blogger who lives in a cave and doesn't have any use for money.  I don't want to live like him.)  So, what do I mean by respecting money by thinking of it in a positive way?  
Here are some common disrespectful thoughts about money:

• Money - root of all evil
• Money - easy come, easy go
• Rich people - greedy, selfish and unscrupulous
• Poverty is virtuous
• Having money will make me (see above *Rich people)

I believe the opposite of these disrespectful thoughts about money.  The first thought, money, the root of all evil, is a misquote from The Bible.  It is the LOVE of money at the root of all evil, not the money itself.  Money is not easy to get.  Most of us have to work for it.  Is money easy to spend?  Sure, but who is in control of this?  I am.  I decide how easily my money goes.  I do not think people are greedy, selfish and unscrupulous because they have money.  I think people have those traits because this is who they are, with or without money.  Just as there are generous, philanthropic, law-abiding poor (or middle-class) people, there are generous, philanthropic, law-abiding rich people.  Poverty is not a virtue.  I'm not sure where this thought comes from, but I'm guessing it may be from The Bible as well.  I remember a parable about the Widow's Mite.  I don't believe Jesus was lauding her poverty, I believe he was lauding her generous spirit.  Having money will not change my personality.  It will not change my personality any more than losing or gaining weight changes a person's personality.  You are who you are.  Money will change your opportunities, not you.

Respecting money goes hand in hand with the respect you have for yourself and your loved ones.  Taking care of your physical money can be equated to caring for your physical body.  Don't overspend or overeat.  Don't exercise to body failure or spend money until it is all gone.  Don't leave it crumpled on the floor or falling out of your pants pocket.  Keep it safe, as you would keep your physical body safe.  Knowing how much money you have can be equated with knowing where your children are going when they leave the house.  (or at least knowing how many children you have. :))

Respecting money also requires saving money for the future.  You plan to care for your children until they are grown and ready to care for themselves, right?  You don't just birth them and say, "that's it, you're on their own now."  No, you plan for their future care and maybe even their education.  If you respect yourself, you will pay yourself first.  This is called saving.

Finally, respecting money also involves being generous with money.  Money likes to work for people.  Be generous with your money, just as you are generous with your time, energy, smiles, and advise.  Don't be afraid of giving to the less fortunate.  Money circulates.  When you give to those in need, money will find it's way back to you. 

I'm not going to elaborate on investing and making your money work for you in this post.  I think if the question is, "How do you respect money?" you may not be ready for investment advise.  Take care of your money, let it go out once in a while, know how much you have, don't waste or lose it.  This is my definition of having respect for money.

News flash!!!  My husband called me just as I was about to submit this post to tell me a story about my son and his character.  My son went to a neighborhood pizza restaurant for lunch, today, with some of his buddies.  They went into the backroom arcade area to play games and my son found a great deal of money stacked on the air hockey table.  It was several thousand dollars.  He gathered the money and carried ALL OF IT to the manager's office.  The manager, surprised and sheepishly, said this money was all the receipts from yesterday's business.  Even though my son is not yet what the world considers "successful" when it comes to money, my son has integrity and honesty regarding money.  I believe these character traits will serve him well in life. 

Evidently, money knows when you're talking about her.   :)

Tips for a Happier and Healthier Frame of Mind

My goal for 2011 is to be happier.  *yeah, still working on that same old thing* I thought these tips would help me, so I shared them on my fb page and I thought I'd share them here. I copied these tips from here, but I added the Bible verses myself.

1. Recognize negative thoughts as they take shape and bury them before they take root. If you feel your mood darkening again, put a stop to these dangerous musings before you succumb to them. Rule your emotions, don't let your emotions rule you.

Proverbs 4:23,  Above all else, guard your heart,for it is the wellspring of life.

2. Hang out with people who think positive as well. This condition can be quite infectious.

1 Thessalonians 5:11,  Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

3. Just as contagious is a negative mindset. So avoid people who tend to think negatively on a constant basis. After all, who wants to hang around naysayers all the time? 

Ephesians 4:29,  Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

4. Work out and eat right. If you look good on the outside, it'll be easier to feel good on the inside, too.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20,  Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

5. De-clutter. Surround yourself only with the things you love and that make you feel good--framed family photos, favorite books, potted plants, works of art, or whatever else that's meaningful to you.

Luke 12:15,  And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

6. If people tell you you can't do something, take that as a challenge and prove them wrong. Chances are, they themselves can't do it or are too afraid to try and are simply bitter about it. If you show them it can be done after all, maybe they'll even be inspired by your success. You can be a living tip for positive thinking to them.

Philippians 4:13,  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

7. Just when you're about to blow your top for all the seeming misfortunes that befall you, remind yourself of all your blessings instead. This practice can be very sobering, indeed.

Psalm 136:1,  Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.

8. Be a volunteer or get involved in charity work. Not only will you realize the sheer number of people who have bigger problems than you do, but there is also such an emotional and even spiritual high to be experienced in helping others.

Acts 20:35,  In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

9. De-stress. You're more likely to be cranky if you're perpetually stressed out. So get away from it all and recharge.

James 4:8,  Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

10. Keep it up. Getting started is easy. It's the maintenance that's tricky. Make a habit out of thinking positively till it becomes an indelible part of who you are.

Hebrews 12:1-2,  Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.