Skipping Easter

I'm not going to church for the Easter service for the first time in my life, ever.  I'm going to be traveling tomorrow.  I'll be flying home from Reno, NV, via San Diego, CA.  It feels weird to think I won't be attending church on Easter this year.  I mean, even marginal christians make it to church on Easter and Christmas.  Another odd thing about this event is that I haven't been all that good at attending church, period.  I'm still struggling with attending traditional church services.  I had to quit one church, because of the mean church ladies I was in a bible study with, but I found another church.  It's just hard to trust people with something as vulnerable as my faith.  I'm working on it.  And, it's coming along.  I am trying to attend more regularly.

This Easter I'll be on a plane.  I'll be thinking about how loved I am.  I'll be thinking that the love Jesus had for me is what held him on the cross.  Those nails were unnecessary.  I'll be thinking about how loved I am by my Lord.  I'll be contemplating the blessings I have in my life because I trust the promises of God.  I'll be dwelling on the hope I have because of the death and resurrection of Jesus.  And, I'll be listening to this song on my iPhone.  My dad used to sing this song at every Good Friday service or Easter service I attended when I was a kid.  Btw, this guy does a good job singing the song, but my dad ROCKED this song in the day.

He is risen, my friends.  He is risen, indeed.

251.  Beautiful drive in the mountains
252.  Being treated like royalty at Harrah's hotel in Reno
253.  Looking forward to getting to my home, seeing my son and my dog
254.  Chocolate
255.  Watching children hunt for Easter eggs
256.  Hearing the words, Easter eggs, Easter, Easter bunny and not "spring" eggs and "spring" bunny
257.  Hearing news anchors being appalled that the word Easter has become offensive to some
258.  Knowing the God I serve is big enough to withstand this insult

I'm not equal to you

This week the talk has been all about equality.  No matter who we are, men, women, asian, black, white, hispanic, muslim, christian, jew, gay, straight, rich, poor, smart, stupid, ambitious, lazy, all I hear is that we are all equal. 

I don't buy it.

What does equal mean?  I certainly don't contribute as much to society as a Bill Gates or a Pierre & Pam Omidyar or a Billy Graham and on and on.  I certainly do contribute more than a Casey Anthony or a Jodi Arias.  I'm not as smart as Stephen Hawking or Paul Allen, but I am smart enough to stay out of debt, raise a family, and save for my retirement.  What does it mean to be equal?  I'm not as popular as Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber.  I'm not as pretty as Julia Roberts or Angelina Jolie.  Do I think I'm equal to any of those people?  I'm going to tell you, I don't.  And, I don't think you are either.

We look to the Declaration of  Independence to find the sentence we hang the hat of all this "equality" business.  "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."  Does this mean that what everyone does with the potential of that Life, Liberty, etc. is equal?  I don't think so.

Here's what I do think.  God created every person with an equal purpose.  That purpose is to give God the glory in all we do!

We don't all produce the same results with our God-given lives.  We have each been given different talents, opportunities, and influences in our lives.  But here is where we have taken a wrong turn in our God-given lives.  We live as if we are each living an individual life.  We live as if what we do every day in every aspect of our lives does not effect anyone else.  We forget that we were created to live in community.  We put our individual desires above the desire to glorify God.  We put our individual desires above the command to love our neighbor as ourselves.

I am a christian.  I am  sinner.  Every day I choose to resist or give in to temptation.  When I give in to my sinful nature, I plead God's forgiveness.  My desire is not to be equal to my neighbor, but to love my neighbor as God loves me.  My desire is not to be equal, but to be a servant.  My desire is to be salt and light in a fallen world.

I won't be changing my fb photo to an equal sign.  During this holiest of weeks, I will be focusing on being forgiven and reconciled to my creator God through the life, suffering, bloodshed, and death of my savior, Jesus.  I pray, as I pray daily, for this nation and the desires of the hearts of the people of this nation.  I pray as Jesus prayed on the cross, "Father, forgive them.  For they know not what they are doing."

241.  Watching storm-clouds part and see the sun come shining through
242.  Bacon
243.  Time spent with old friends
244.  Hearing my husband say he is very happy in his marriage
245.  Practicing smiling at people
246.  Vacation

What has happened to personal responsibility?

"We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions."  Ronald Reagan

Personal responsibility.  There's a concept from the past.

The tragedies of this month have again brought out the question, who is to blame?

Who is to blame for the bad things happening in this country?  Is it the parent's fault?  Is it the school's fault?  Is it the fault of the NRA and the legality of assault rifles?  Is it the fault of the makers of violent video games?  Is it the fault of the doctors and professionals in the field of mental illness?  Is it the fault of vaccines and the possibility of their relationship to autism?  Is it the fault of neighbors and friends not seeing the signs of trouble?  Is it the fault of the high divorce rate and the crumbling of marriage in the US?  Is it God's fault?  Is it the church's fault?

Taking personal responsibility has, for the most part, disappeared.

We want to blame the NRA for lobbying to keep guns available for legal purchase. 

We want to blame McDonalds for the rise in obesity in the US.  I don't know about you, but in order for me to eat McDonalds fries I have to go there and get them and then put them in my mouth and eat them.  Nobody has a gun to my head.

We want the government to take care of our birth control for us, so we don't have to worry about our sexual promiscuity.

We want government to take responsibility for the raising, education and feeding of our children.  

We want our health care paid by the government while we continue to overeat, under-exercise, smoke, drink and use recreational drugs.

We want to retire comfortably without saving money during our working years and preparing for the future.

We want to give the responsibility for all these things, and more, to an institution that has proven itself to be very bad at managing anything and especially bad at managing money.  Why oh why to we continue to look to the government to take care of us.  They have showed us who they are.  We need to stop begging for them to do a better job.  It can't be done.

Personal responsibility.  If you need to depend on someone to help you with a problem area in your life, look for a mentor.  You can find mentors in your life through older family members or friends, neighbors, spiritual leaders, community leaders, the networks of your friends and colleagues.  People like to be asked for help, but they don't want to do it for you.  Don't depend on these mentors to do your work for you.  Take personal responsibility for yourself.

We need to grow up in this country.  Life is hard, but we aren't in it alone.  God knew life would be hard, so he sent his son to reconcile us to him.  He gave us prayer, an opportunity to speak with him.  He gave us church, an opportunity to join with fellow believers for support and fellowship in this tough, tough life on Earth.  I pray for churches to be filled during this holiday season and for people to return to the roots of faith this country was built upon.  We don't need to look any further than the bathroom mirror to discover where change needs to begin.  Let's decide we want to do better for ourselves, not have more done for us. 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

  
768.  Last day of work before my Christmas break
769.  Red velvet donuts from Dunkin Donuts
770.  New carpet day in the rental house renovation
771.  Enjoying the final couple weeks of my son living with me
772.  Reading books for pleasure
773.  Reading blogs for pleasure
774.  Watching movies in the morning
775.  Going to a 9:00 p.m. showing of Lincoln and knowing I don't have to get up for work in the morning
776.  Listening of off-key Christmas carol covers  :)
777.  Thinking about the peace of Christmastime and getting all my work done so I can enjoy it
778.  Organic lettuce and baby greens salads
779.  Vodka made from potatoes
780.  Advent services at church
781.  Thinking about hanging ornaments on the tree, but ok with knowing it may not happen
782.  Three hours of administrative leave on the last day of work in 2012

Messy Christmas

I hope you thought this blog title was a typo.  Alas, it is not.  This year I'm having a messy Christmas.  I'm not saying it won't be a happy Christmas, but it is messy, none the less.

Long long ago, when I was a sah-mom, I gloried in decorating my house, inside and out, for Christmas.  I looked forward to cranking up the Kenny G and hanging ornaments on the tree.  I loved switching out the everyday towels in the kitchen and bathroom with cute snowman and reindeer monogrammed towels.  There would typically be an entire weekend devoted to baking Christmas cookies and sweet treats for teachers and babysitters and friends and church parties.  I looked forward to setting out the lladro nativity set and telling the Christmas story to my son.  Typically all worked stopped for a Charlie Brown Christmas or Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer or It's a Wonderful Life.  It was Christmas for at least a month at our house and I loved it.

I have noticed the past few years, Christmas has been becoming a bit slapdash at my house.  Eventually I get the tree up and decorated and get the Christmas cards written and sent.  Eventually I get my husband to put up the outdoor lights and hang the wreaths on the windows.  Eventually I bake a few cookies for my co-workers and neighbors.  And on Christmas day I cook dinner for my family and whomever else is visiting.  If I don't cook the dinner, then I must be on the road traveling to visit my family far and wide in this great nation.

This year, I believe is the year I don't eventually get much of this stuff done.  This year, Christmas is going to be messy.

I did convince my husband to put up the outdoor lights during half-time of the Redskins game a couple weeks ago, but the wreaths did not make it out of the eaves.  I did get the artificial tree dragged out of the attic.  We hadn't used the artificial tree in so long we didn't remember how to put it together.  After a few sharp words between my love and myself, and finding the reading glasses and an extension cord, the tree is assembled and lit.  There are no ornaments hung on this tree.  I have no idea when that is going to happen.  There are gifts wrapped in logo-stamped plastic bags arranged around the base of the tree, which is in the "living room" we never use because we didn't feel like moving the grandfather clock out of the entryway and putting the tree where we usually put the tree.  I can guarantee that no baking will be happening this year.  This may be good for the waistline, but it's sad for the spirit.  Neighbors and friends are getting wine.  I hope they're good with that, 'cause that's the best I can do.

I'm attempting to write my Christmas cards during working hours.  I know this is wrong, but this is when I can find a moment or two.  I'm shopping for my mom and dad on line and even at that, I'm hoping I ordered early enough to get Christmas delivery. 

I'm going to guess the very first Christmas was a Messy Christmas, too.  There is just something about giving birth that is messy enough, but giving birth in a cow-stall sounds very messy.  Thank goodness for the angels coming to the shepherds and giving them the news of Jesus birth.  I always like to think they were glowing or radiating some form of heavenly light.  I've never been to Israel, but I've been to other countries in the Mediterranean region, so I know there were evergreen bushes and trees.  Who knows, maybe they had Christmas candles in the barn?  They were probably made of tallow, so no sugar cookies scent, but candles.

Christmas will still come whether my decorations are up or not.  The meaning of Christmas will not change because I haven't put out the nativity set.  Christmas will still be Emmanuel and hope coming to Earth.  And Christmas will be full of joy and family and love without a huge Christmas dinner.  I'm crossing my fingers that Netflix streams a Charlie Brown Christmas, but if they don't it will still be Christmas. 

By the way, if anyone wants to buy a nativity set, feel free to email me.  I'm willing to let it go.

754.  Photography bloggers with their Christmas pictures
755.  Bakeries that sell Christmas cookies
756.  Trader Joe's that sell wine (thank goodness I live near VA)
757.  Off-site meetings my boss must attend  :)
758.  The magi Christmas stamps and a US Postal worker wishing me a Merry Christmas
759.  Kenny G on Pandora
760.  A sunny day in December after many gloomy days in a row
761.  The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel  (rent this!)
762.  It's a good day in the market
763.  Being invited to houses that are decorated for Christmas like a picture in a catalog
764.  Almost everyone likes wine
765.  Remembering good times with old friends when I write their Christmas cards
766.  Children's Christmas pageants at church
767.  Christmas carols

A survivor's story

I haven't written about the CO theater shooting, until now, because I didn't know what I could say.  It was horrible.  Worse than horrible.  Young people, killed by a young person.  It makes no sense.  I prayed for the survivors.  I prayed for the families of the victims.  I prayed for the injured.  I prayed for the family of the shooter.  It's senseless tragedies like this that cause people to question the presence of God in this world.  I thought back to 9/11 and the questions about God and where was he and how could he let this happen and more.  I believe God was in the World Trade Center on 9/11.  I believe he was in the planes on 9/11.  I believe God was in that movie theater in Aurora, CO in the early moments of Friday morning.  I came across a blog by a woman who was in that theater the night of the shootings.  I realize there is always a chance that something on the internet is not true, but something about this post rang true to me and I hope I could react as bravely and hang on to my faith as securely as Marie at A Miniature Clay Pot.

Marie posts about what it was like to be in the theater at that midnight showing of "The Dark Knight Rises" in her post on July 20th and survive.

"I was there in theater 9 at midnight, straining to make out the words and trying to figure out the story line as The Dark Night Rises began. I’m not a big movie-goer. The HH and I prefer to watch movies in the comfort of our own home…where I can use subtitles and get a foot rub. I don’t like action movies. And I don’t like midnight showings.  But, as I wrote in my last post, parents sometimes make sacrifices for their kiddos and I decided I would take my fourteen year old and sixteen year old daughters who were chomping at the bit to see this eagerly anticipated third movie in the Batman Trilogy. Twice I had the opportunity to back out and twice I was quite tempted. But something in me said just go with your girls. I did.

So I was there with them, fidgeting in my seat, some forty or fifty feet away from the man with the gun. It’s still a bit surreal, but I do know that when the seemingly endless shooting started, as my girls were struggling from whatever gas or chemical had been released, and we figured out what was happening, we hit the floor. I threw myself on top of my fourteen year old who was on the end of the row, straight up the aisle from the shooter.  In that moment, as the rapid-fire shots continued, I truly thought I was going to die. And I realized that I was ready. I have put my faith and trust in Jesus Christ as the redeemer of my soul, and there wasn’t the slightest doubt that I would be received into heaven, not because of any good thing that I have done but because of His merciful nature and the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Still, as I lay over my daughter, I began praying out loud. I don’t even remember what I prayed, but I don’t imagine it really matters. I’m sure it was for protection and peace. It drew me closer into the presence of God. When there was a pause in the shooting, people began to clamor for the exits. The girls and I jumped up and joined the masses. We had to step over a lifeless body, people were screaming and pushing, not knowing where the shooter was. We raced to our car and I dumped my purse, frantically searching for keys, looking all around, prepared to hit the ground. I yelled at Michelle to call Matthew and find out if he had made it out of the theater next door. She did. He did. We booked on out of there."

Marie goes on to share how she and her daughters began to process this event.  I, personally, cannot imagine how the conversations would sound.  Marie took the time to share some of the processing she and her family experienced.  From what I can tell, this blog blew up after Marie's first posting.  It appears she added some answers to comments afterward.  I can only hope (and still do not want this hope tested) that I would be able to respond with the same grace and faith that Marie has shown.

"(Maybe, just maybe God spared my life because He loves YOU and wants you to hear this..He wants you to believe that He loved you so much He gave His only begotten Son that if you would believe in Him you would have eternal life.)

“So, you still believe in a merciful God?”  Some of the comments online are genuinely inquisitive, others are contemptuous in nature. Regardless of the motive behind the question, I will respond the same way.

Yes.

Yes, I do indeed.

Absolutely, positively, unequivocally.

Let’s get something straight: the theater shooting was an evil, horrendous act done by a man controlled by evil.  God did not take a gun and pull the trigger in a crowded theater. He didn’t even suggest it. A man did.
In His sovereignty, God made man in His image with the ability to choose good and evil.
Unfortunately, sometimes man chooses evil."

Evidently Marie's post blew up with comments that she felt compelled to address in her posts on July 21st and July 22nd.  I was surprised by the negativity she encountered, but then again, this is the internet and there is that shield of anonymity.

As hard it is to imagine being in the position Marie claims to have experienced and survived, is to understand how quickly life can change.  It is so strange to read the blog post Marie wrote on July 19th.  She wrote about bacon.  Bacon.  The most pressing thing on her mind on Thursday July 19th was her daughter's food preferences.  The paradigm from which Marie viewed her life shifted drastically a few hours later.  Yet, the faith she has in God stayed firm.

I emailed Marie and asked permission to share her story and link to her post.  In all that has been written and spoken of this tragedy, it is writing like this that gives me hope for our world.  I know there will be more to come.  A trial and sentencing.  There will, most likely, be victimization of shooter.  It's hard for the world to believe or understand that God was in that theater, but he was.  God is everywhere.  And he is there before you get there.

448.  Reading about people with unshakable faith in God
449.  A good God in a world full of evil
450.  Bloggers using their blogs to teach the good news of Jesus Christ and his salvation of the world
451.  Surprise gift of flowers

Keeping my eyes open for Jesus in my life

I've been toying around with the idea of starting a meme or link-up or whatever you want to call it about sharing how we have seen or had contact with Jesus in our week.

So, what do I mean by this and why does it interest me?

I've shared about being in a small group bible study now and in the past.  To be perfectly honest, I've been in a lot of bible studies.  I like them, but lately, I'm not finding them very satisfying.  I want to be challenged to be living my christianity and not just reading about it.  This hasn't been the easiest thing for me to do, since I went back to work, full time.  I remember back when I was a sahm and I taught adult sunday school classes on Sunday morning.  The class was mostly couples with at least one spouse working and sometimes both.  The working members of the class were never prepared.  Typically, they had never opened their bible.  They expected to show up and just share their thoughts without any prep.  This used to annoy me.  (remember me, the rule following ISTJ)  Now I'm the one working 40 hours a week and struggling to get my lesson done.  However, getting my lesson done isn't the thing I miss most about my walk with christ since working full time.  I miss noticing how Jesus was working in my life on a daily, or at least, weekly basis.  Back then, I was looking for answers to prayer or doing faith based service work or just plain, hanging around with other christians.  Now, not so much.

When someone asks me why I believe that Jesus is my savior or why I'm a christian (and this hardly ever happens, but once in a while it does) I'd like to give a personal answer and have a recent encounter with Jesus to share with them.  I don't want to spout bible verses or theological dogma.  I want to share experiences of Jesus working in my life or changing me or convicting me or blessing me.  I don't want to get up in everyone's business.  I don't want to know what horrible sins they've been forgiven from or what horrible situations they want their husband or wife freed from.  I mean, I'll pray for people's needs, but I don't want to be a voyeur into their lives.  But, I guess I do want to know how they feel freed and empowered by forgiveness of sin.  I want to know about a situation containing a struggle with making the ethical choice over the easy choice came about.  I guess I want to hear and be encouraged by people choosing to do What Jesus Would Do over what they would typically do.  And, more to the point, I want to notice when Jesus intervenes in my life during the work week and I make a decision that is a decision or action Jesus would have made over one I typically would have made.

Do any of you think this is something that would be interesting and uplifting and encouraging to people that read blogs?  I read blogs from people that seem to see Jesus in their lives every day.  I'm just trying to find a way I've let Jesus have a hand in my life once a week.  Do you think I'm alone in this search?  Do you think there are other christians out there that have too much World in their lives and not enough Jesus?  Maybe I'm way off and this isn't the way Jesus works in people's lives.  I'm open to any and all suggestions

I was thinking of calling it Finding Jesus Fridays.  Maybe I'll try it for 10 weeks and see what happens.

445.  Meeting with my small group bible study and seeing some good friends off as they return to their home
446.  A relaxing weekend with movies and without golf on tv
447.  Looking forward to my husband coming home on Friday
 

Money

I've seen a few things written about money, lately, that make me wonder what in the world some people are thinking.  I saw on facebook one of those pictures of a famous person with their quote photoshopped over their image. It was an image of Richard Buckminster Fuller (yeah, I had to Google him, too.  inventor, architect, author, ... and futurist!) They used this quote of his.  "We must do away with the absolutely specious notion (wrong or misleading.  I had to look this up, too) that everybody has to earn a living. It is a fact today that one in ten thousand of us can make a technological breakthrough capable of supporting all the rest. The youth of today are absolutely right in recognizing this nonsense of earning a living. We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to be employed at some kind of drudgery because, according to Malthusian-Darwinian theory (survival of the fittest), he must justify his right to exist. So we have inspectors of inspectors and people making instruments for inspectors to inspect inspectors. The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody came along and told them they had to earn a living."  And this quote was interpreted, by the poster and the comments, as meaning that people today don't need to earn a living (have a job to make money) because one person in every 10,000 people can make a technological breakthrough and earn enough money to support the slackers other 10,000 people.  And again, to these people who have no desire to work and earn money, they say that money is meaningless.  I believe what Bucky is saying here is there shouldn't be an artificial job created to employ people to artificially decrease unemployment levels.  I don't believe he meant that only 1 in 10,000 people need to work or that one rich person should pay for the care and feeding of 10,000 people that do not want to work.  People should do work that is useful and then they don't justify their reason for existence, they HAVE a reason for existence.

Another person feels that money is a trap. She feels it is an illusion. She says the illusion of money is not a feeling, it's simple truth. She says people have decided that certain things would be worth something, and so they are. Period.  And yet, another person hates money. She hates that her husband works a job that he doesn't really like to make money to pay for a house they can't afford and bills and for things they don't really need.  (so why did they buy these things?)  She then goes on to tell us that she would like the church she attends to allow them to live in a house on a property the members of this church bought and allow them to start a commune and have multiple people or families living in the house.  (I'm guessing it's ok for the church people to be caught in the money trap and have to work for the money to pay for this property, just not her)  Anyway, this goes on and on and makes no sense to me.  I know there are always going to be people with their hands out.  People who think that because they don't WANT to work, they don't HAVE to work. 

I think these people hate NOT HAVING money.  They don't hate money, itself.

I've written here about money.  I respect money and I don't believe it is meaningless.

I once gave a Children's Sermon in a church.  In it I showed the children some money.  I showed them a crisp, brand new one dollar bill, a really old and worn one dollar bill, and one dollar bill that I ripped in half and then taped back together.  I asked the children which of the one dollar bills was worth the most?  At first, most of them said the new one was worth the most, but when I asked them if anyone wanted the old one, or the one that was torn and taped, yeah, they wanted them.  I asked them why they wanted them?  They said, they wanted the dollar so they could spend it.  I then took the new crisp one dollar bill and crumpled it up.  Then I put it on the floor and stepped on it.  I really stepped on it hard and stamped it into the floor.  I asked the children if the dollar was worth the same now, as it was before I crumpled it up.  They were getting the point.  A dollar is worth a dollar, no matter what condition it is in.  You can still take it to the store and spend it.

Then I said, we are like these dollars to Jesus.  We have worth to him no matter what condition we find ourselves.  Sometimes we are ripped or broken and we don't get put back together just right, like a soldier who has been injured in a war or a child who is born with cerebral palsy or downs syndrome, but to Jesus, we all have the same value.  Sometimes people are very old and don't look so good anymore and cannot do very much anymore.  They are frail and tattered at the edges.  When Jesus looks at them he sees they are just as valuable as a younger person.  Sometimes we start out nice and clean and new, but then someone makes us feel bad and hurts us and steps on us and treats us like we are worthless, but to Jesus we still have the same value we always had.

It makes me sad to think there are people out there that do not value or respect money and see it as meaningless.  It makes me angry that there are people out there that don't want to work, but are quite happy to have me or the government give them the money I earn.  Maybe the just want someone else to take care of them?  Maybe they think they are better than those of us working for a living?  I guess if I told this little story to someone that believes money is meaningless, they wouldn't understand it. 

425.  A (sorta) apology from my boss for the meeting screw-up
426.  Bible study tonight, and I'm really looking forward to it
427.  A project at work that is interesting and something I can succeed at
428.  Squash juice, it's better than it sounds

Thou shalt not steal, unless Jesus says it's OK

The parable of the shrewd manager from Luke 16:1-15 was the last of the small group bible study in this series of parables.  I've done a lot of bible studies and, I have to admit, I've never done a study on this parable.  To be even more honest, I don't think our group really understands what Jesus was getting at with this one, but we tried.

Jesus told his disciples:   “There was a rich man whose manager was accused of wasting his possessions. So he called him in and asked him, ‘What is this I hear about you? Give an account of your management, because you cannot be manager any longer.’

The manager said to himself, ‘What shall I do now? My master is taking away my job. I’m not strong enough to dig, and I’m ashamed to beg– I know what I’ll do so that, when I lose my job here, people will welcome me into their houses.’

So he called in each one of his master’s debtors. He asked the first, ‘How much do you owe my master?’

‘Eight hundred gallons of olive oil,’ he replied.

The manager told him, ‘Take your bill, sit down quickly, and make it four hundred.’

Then he asked the second, ‘And how much do you owe?’

‘A thousand bushels of wheat,’ he replied.

He told him, ‘Take your bill and make it eight hundred.’

The master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly. For the people of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own kind than are the people of the light. I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own?

No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.”

The Pharisees, who loved money, heard all this and were sneering at Jesus. He said to them, “You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God’s sight.

This doesn't seem right, does it.  If I'm reading this correctly Jesus is telling his disciples it is ok to steal from your boss.  Yet, in the passage, the boss is commending the dishonest manager for his clever, albeit, unrighteous ways.  In fact, the boss says worldly people are more shrewd in dealing with other worldly people, than the people of the light.

What is Jesus trying to get across to his listeners (and us)?  I think Jesus is using reverse psychology on his listeners or, as my mother-in-law used to say, "You can learn as much from a bad example, as you can from a good example."  The shrewd manager has no desire to work and he has too much pride to beg.  What he does have going for him is his understanding of human nature.  He knows everyone loves a bargain.  Notice, the boss doesn't commend the shrewd manager for stealing from him.  No, the boss is commending the manager for the shrewdness he shows in knowing how to make his way in the world after being fired.  After all, the manager has already been fired.  Another thing that comes to mind is the quickness of the manager's mind.  Obviously, there wasn't a lot of time for the shrewd manager to think about what he was going to do to survive after losing his job.  He came up with this plan on the fly.  This is one smart cookie.

What does this story have to do with us (followers of Jesus)?  The first thing that came to my mind (because I'm still a bit self-centered) was how I steal from my boss and what Jesus must think of it.  Yes, I steal from my boss, too.  I've mentioned, here, that I write my blog while I'm at work.  Sometime that makes me feel as if I get paid for blogging.  In reality, this is stealing.  However, many times I blog about what I've learned in my bible study or about forgiveness or about gratitude and I have readers who are seekers of the truth regarding Jesus and the bible.  Which is the greater good (or lesser evil), stealing time (but still getting my work done) or sharing God's truth?  After all, "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," Romans 3:23.  Maybe you think I'm trying to justify my actions.  I'm not, I'm trying to understand the parable and put it in today's world.  Another thing that came to my mind while studying this passage was the quote by Oliver Wendell Holmes, "Some people are so heavenly minded that they are no earthly good."  Maybe Jesus is pointing our the shrewd manager's understanding of human nature and  the church's lack of willingness to try to understand the people, but focus only on the LAW.  Jesus was all about meeting people where they were.  One of his giant pet peeves was the hypocrisy of the Pharisees.  They weren't able to get on board with Jesus and his point of view.

In regard to the quickness of the shrewd manager's mind, I think, Jesus may be reminding his disciples that his time with them is short and they need to listen closely and learn quickly.  Or maybe, Jesus is telling us that our time on earth is short and we must make the most of the opportunities to share the good news with others while we still have a chance.

I'm probably not helping you understand this parable, so I'll remind you of its context.  This story of the shrewd manager is grouped with three other parables:  The first is the Parable of the Lost Sheep (Luke 15:3-7), the second is the Parable of the Lost Coin (Luke 15:8-10), and the third is the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32).  The Parable of the Shrewd Manager comes last in this series.  In all these parables Jesus is talking about the value God places on people over things.  He knew the Pharisees were listening to him and looking to stop him from teaching.  His beef with the Pharisees was that they had lost their perspective and were more interested in the money and politics of their position and no longer focused on their relationship with the people and the people's relationship with their God.  He reminds the Pharisees (and us) in Luke 16:13, "No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money." 

I hope I didn't make this parable more confusing than it already is, although, I'm not sure that would be possible. 

346.  Hot weather is really here now
347.  Relaxing weekends and trying not to feel too guilty about not getting anything accomplished
348.  Willingness to part with the Lladro nativity set that I wanted so bad, but feels like "stuff"
349.  The desire God gives me to want to understand people so different from me
350.  Having God between me and my circumstances instead of having my circumstances between me and God

You must choose a side of the road

Last night our small group bible study worked on the parable of "The Good Samaritan" from Luke 10:25-37.

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 

 “What is written in the Law?” Jesus replied. “How do you read it?”

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.” 

But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead.  A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.  So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.  But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him.  He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him.  The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’ 

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

This story challenges us to decide "which side of the road" we will choose.  I'll start with a few definitions to, possibly, clarify this story.  First the priest in this story is considered a direct descendant of Aaron, Moses brother, who as made a priest by God, as well as all his direct descendants.  Secondly, the Levite was a member of the tribe of Levi and were the readers of the Torah and caretakers of the Synagogue.  They were not allowed to own land and were cared for through tithes of the Israelites.  Lastly, the Samaritan is a member of race closely related to the Jews, but hated by the Jews because they inbred with pagans and worshiped pagan gods as well as the Hebrew G-d.  The verses do not say who the man attacked by robbers was, but I'm going to assume he was a Jew.

The crux of this story has to with the choice each traveler made as they came upon the injured man on the road.  The fact that the traveler choosing the injured man's side of the road in this story is a man from a group that has a deep cultural distrust of the group the injured man is a member of is the critical point of this story.

I had a very difficult time with this lesson.  In fact, I'm pretty sure I offended two members of the group, but I'm not completely sure.  I feel I am a generous person, but I'm not a very "hands on" person.  I'm an introvert and shy.  I told you in the "100 things about me" that I startle easily.  We talked about the homeless and indigent begging on the streets and asking for a handout.  I'm not good with this.  I'm afraid of them.  We talked about charities that have been accused and proven to have mishandled funds.  We talked about the outpouring of benevolence and charity after 9/11 and Katrina and then..., nothing.

Am I a "good Samaritan" if I am a constant giver to the specific charities I support?  I support Care Net pregnancy care centers.  I give to the church I attend, intermittently.  I gave to Samaritan's purse at Christmas.  Our small group adopted a family last Christmas.  Because I've never seen or spoken to the recipients of my giving, am I less than a "good Samaritan?"  And now that I've shared my giving, have I gone against the verse in Matthew 6:3 "But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing."  All these rules and boundaries about the righteous way to give.  Does it mean giving money is less noble than working in a soup kitchen?  Does is mean that buying Christmas gifts is less righteous than working in a prison ministry?  Does it mean that giving to a pregnancy center is less benevolent than passing out tracts on street corners and telling people that Jesus saves?  I say giving is giving.  I say, God loves a cheerful giver.  The verse from 2 Corinthians 9:7, "Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver," wasn't even in the lesson last night.

We talked about taking money out of the equation of being a good Samaritan.  We talked about being the encourager.  We talked about sharing the gospel.  We talked about being an influence for positivity at work.  These are the very things I struggle with.  Is this why there are both, the money and the hands on aspect in the good Samaritan story?

I've been told my bluntness, even about good things is "jaw dropping."  I've been told I'm not warm or fuzzy.  And, last night, I felt the cold shoulder of believers with more feeling in their MBTI.  This is where my struggles so often seem to be.  Can an introverted, thinker/judger be a good Samaritan? 

I think Jesus shared both, the pouring of oil and wine on the wounds and the giving of denarii to the innkeeper in this story.  Both are ways to be the good Samaritan to the needy.  I know which side of the road I would choose.

270.  Being encouraged to exercise my body
271.  A dentist that is truly painless
272.  Being able to talk to my mom on the phone, every day
273.  Godly people praying for reconciliation for my dad and my brother
274.  Seeing the joy in the face of a co-worker that is about to retire

Linking to Shanda at On Your Heart Tuesdays

Persistent prayer

Luke 11:1-10  The Lord's Prayer 

Now Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.”  And he said to them, “When you pray, say:

“Father, hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread, and forgive us our sins,
    for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And lead us not into temptation.”

And he said to them, “Which of you who has a friend will go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves, for a friend of mine has arrived on a journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; and he will answer from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed. I cannot get up and give you anything’? I tell you, though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his impudence he will rise and give him whatever he needs.  And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.

This week the small group bible study  studied prayer, imparticularly, persistent prayer.  We learned, through the verses above, to pray and pray and pray, until we get an answer to our prayer.  God promises to answer prayers.  (Matthew 7:7 Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you shall find, knock and it will be opened to you.)  Of course, we've all prayed to get a good grade on a test when we were in school, and then we didn't.  So, we know God doesn't give us what we ask for just because we pray.  In the bible it says Jesus asked God, "take this cup away from me, but not what I will but what you will."  We know God did not remove the bitter cup of crucifixion from Jesus.  He went to the cross and was crucified.  God's will was done in this instance.  This prayer thing is pretty confusing.  If God is going to do what God wants to do, what is the use in praying?  And further, what is the use in persistent praying?

The neighbor with the bread, in the story above, is in bed and does not want to get up to answer the door for the neighbor who needs bread.  Btw, these neighbors are friends, not just neighbors.  We were told we needed to put this story in a cultural setting.  Homes in this place and time were typically two story homes.  At night the family slept together in one room on the second floor and they sheltered their animals in the first floor.  Being the middle of the night, the neighbor tells his friend, essentially, go away, I'm not waking my entire family and upsetting the animals to give you bread.  However, the bread needing neighbor is persistent.  Seriously persistent.  So, the sleepy neighbor gets up and gives him the bread.

To me, this sounds like Jesus is saying God is the sleepy neighbor with the bread and if we want to get God to give us what we want, we have to bug him about it.  Does being persistent in prayer mean to be annoying?  This was a tough one for me.  After all, God knows everything, so he knows what I need and want.  And, God can do anything, so nothing I want is out of his abilities.  (btw, two churchy words for you here, omnipotent and omniscient, just sayin')  Yet, Jesus is telling his disciples God wants them to pray about the same thing over and over and over again until God answers their prayer.  This is what our group was told regarding persistence in prayer.  Pray until; 1. Your prayer is answered just as you hoped it would be answered.  2.  Your circumstances or perspectives have changed.  3. God leads you in a different direction.

I find a lot of comfort in these verses and some interesting insight.  First of all, one of the disciples asks to be taught how to pray.  This is interesting to me because these were Jewish men.  I'm sure they had all been bar mitzvahed.  They had been taught by their rabbi how to pray.  Obviously there was something different about the way Jesus was praying and the way John had been praying.  They wanted to learn Jesus' way of praying.  Secondly, we are reminded that God's name should be revered and not misused.  (this is certainly something I don't always do.)  We are taught to pray for our daily needs.  God does not grow tired and bored with our daily needs.  Neither is he bored with our request for forgiveness.  In fact, I believe confession of sins is encouraged.  God wants to forgive us and in turn, he wants us to show forgiveness to others.  This is a good practice.  I'm guessing it teaches us gratitude for what we have and compassion for others.  I think the world would be a better place if there was more of both of these attributes in people.  These verses teach us to ask to be kept from temptation.  God knows there is a lot of temptation out there.  By praying to be kept from it, we are reminded to stay away from it.  Lastly, by being persistent in our prayers we are reminded to be on the lookout for answers to our prayers.  I know I often pray and then put what I've prayed for out of my mind.  I've heard keeping a prayer journal is a good idea, but I'm not good at journaling.

Working through these verses and this study doesn't clear up everything about prayer for me.  I still have questions about why some people seem to be healed when prayed over and some are not.  One thing I can share from my personal experience is about a prayer I have been praying for a very long time.  I've posted about my son a little bit on this blog.  I like to keep his privacy intact, so I don't write about him very often.  I cannot tell you what issues, if any, affect my son as far as falling under the autism spectrum disorders or another attention deficit disorder.  There have been so many theories.  He has been diagnosed with aspergers or pervasive development disorder or executive function disorder.  He also has suffered from depression and is dyslexic.  I have prayed and prayed and prayed for him to be healed of any or all of these issues.  He has not been healed.  I have been persistent.  I have prayed daily for YEARS.  I got to the point of believing God must hate me or not be there at all.  It began to hurt my heart and harm my relationship with God.  (I've mentioned, I like God a lot.  His church, not so much, but I've always liked God.)  Lately, and I mean quite recently, I've noticed a change in my husband and son's relationship.  Lately, it seems, my son shown some desire to please my husband and to put forth effort to do what he asks him to do.  There seem to be fewer melt-downs and self-harming behaviors.  This gives me hope.  Maybe there is something to this persistent prayer.  Maybe God is answering my prayer differently than I had hoped and prayed.  Maybe he is healing my son through his relationship with his father.  Maybe God does hear my prayers.

172.  A very nice lunch out with my boss and several co-workers for Administrative Professionals Day (aka Secretaries' Day)  'cause I'm a secretary.  :)
173.  Azaleas blooming everywhere
174.  Using my imagination to see animals and people in the white fluffy cloud shapes
175.  Goldfinches turning bright yellow and sitting on my birdfeeder
176.  The feeling of hope in my heart

 

Linking with Shanda at On Your Heart Tuesdays

He is Risen

He is risen, indeed.  We cannot visit the grave of our deity because he is not dead.  He is ALIVE.  Happy Easter.

Good Friday

Today is Good Friday.  Some would say this day was not so good for our lord.  Today is the day we remember he was falsely arrested, humiliated, beaten, stripped and hung on a cross to die.  He did this willingly.  He took God's cup of wrath and drank it down.  This week I've been a bit ungrateful for all the blessings in my life.  I know this because my writing was a bit self-centered and it took me a bit of time to come up with my "gratitudes" at the bottom of my posts.  Today I absolutely know what I am grateful for.  I hope you do, too.

Thank you Johnny Hart

116.  My lord and savior, Jesus Christ
117.  Fellow believers
118.  The freedom to worship my lord without fear
119.  The opportunity to attend a lecture, at the college I work at, about the God I serve, by a professor openly acknowledging his Christianity
120.  Knowing there is a remnant of students, here, that are believers (this gives me hope)

Lent is here

The season of Lent has arrived.  In the christian faith, this is the time of preparation for the sacrifice of Jesus for our sins.  It is a time of giving up a luxury to feel the sting of sacrifice as a tiny nod to feeling the sacrifice that was made for me.  I suck at Lent.  I was raised dutch reformed and Lent was not a big deal in this particular church.  It was nothing like the way Lent was acknowledged in the Catholic church.  We ate meat at every meal.  We didn't fast on Ash Wednesday.  Business as usual.

Last year I made an attempt at participating in an experiment at doing yoga for 40 days.  Epic fail.  However, I did discover I'm not a big fan of yoga.  I'll do some sun salutations now and then, but every day for 40 days.  No way.  Uh uh.  You may remember I wrote about celebrating Advent this past Christmastime.  Another epic fail.  Yeah, I didn't even tell you.  I just kinda blew it off.  Sure, I was psyched about it for about two weeks, but then it fell off the radar.  Here we are, it's Lent again.  I remember my old friend, Joybird, did a Lenten project she called Late to Lent.  She chose to blog her Lenten experience for each day of the season.  I was impressed by her work and her diligence to stick to the project.  Then I heard of another person who chose to grow her hair for Lent.  Seriously?  I'm trying to imagine how this helped her relate to the sacrifice of Christ.  I guess it takes all kinds to make a world.

My plan for this Lenten season is to spend an hour with God each day of this season.  Yeah, I get I'm supposed to be doing this anyway, but I don't.  I'm hoping to spend this time with him while walking in his creation and reading his word.  I intend to attend church on every Sunday of Lent.  Yeah, I get I'm supposed to be doing this anyway, but I don't.  I'm going to sit in church and think positive thoughts and, hopefully, start praying for each person I see in the sanctuary.  I'm even going to pray for the guy I notice falls asleep EVERY time I see him in church.  No judging, just praying.  I guess I'm giving up my chilling time on the couch and, most likely, a glass of wine or two.  'Cause that's what I do while chilling on the couch.  I consider these luxuries.  I think I'm really going to look forward to Easter this year.

So now I've written my intentions on the world wide web.  I know some of you readers know where I live.  I know some of you have my phone number.  Please feel free to hold me accountable.  I'm seeking to grow.  Who knows, I may even start enjoying church again.  Fingers crossed.

I almost forgot.  I'm going to restart my gratitudes on my blog posts.  Evidently my Gratitude List page had a finite amount of lines and the earlier gratitudes dropped off the page.  Stuff happens, but I'm still grateful.

I'm grateful for
1.  my savior
2.  my faith that Jesus is risen from the dead and will come again to Earth
3.  a small group of believers encouraging me every Monday night
4.  the word of God, readily available in ANY form of media you can think of
5.  my healthy body
6.  my clear mind
7.  the opportunity to share my faith with anyone reading my words
8.  a God of second chances 

What the ...?

Can you call yourself a Christian if you cuss?

I have been known to use some pretty colorful language to communicate my feelings.  I cuss.  Btw, I married a sailor, doncha know.  It's funny, I didn't cuss nearly as much while my husband was active duty navy as I do now.  I think this may be because our son was young and I didn't enjoy hearing my four year old using the "f" word.  Now he is 24 and he uses the WHOLE alphabet.  Thankfully, he has enough respect for his dad and me to keep from using it in front of us, ...mostly.  I, on the other hand, am not so good at keeping from using the foul language in front of him.

I just read a status update on the page of a favorite blogger of mine, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary.  She is a christian missionary and she cusses.  I think JTVWM is the real deal.  I see the love of Jesus shining through her blog posts.  But, yeah, she cusses.  The status on her fb page went something like this.

JTVWM is very clever.  She has a clever mind and a quick wit.  I like this about her.  I have a tendency to have a quick retort, as well.  And, I cuss.

Of course cussing isn't the worst of the sins one can commit.  (as if God rated the sins on a graduated scale)  But how we speak does give an indication of what kind of person we are.  I know my mom and dad hate to hear cussing.  So, when I visit my mom and dad, I don't cuss.  See, I can clean up the language when I want to do it.  I have wondered if people exclaiming "Oh My Goodness" as opposed to "Oh My God" were doing a better job of being a Christian than I am.  Believe me, these phrases are just the tip of the iceberg of my inappropriate language.  And, come to think of it, is cussing really a sin?  The bible tells us not to use God's name in vain, but it doesn't say anything about the "f" word or any of the other lettered words.

For the most part, I think the use of the bad language is me just being lazy.  I know if I put a bit of effort into my day to day convos I could avoid the cussing.  I know, because I can do it when I want to do it.  Another thing I've found to be true, for me, is I cuss more when I'm around people who are cussing.  It's contagious.  Another thing about cussing, I think, is it makes me look kind of dumb.  I'm sure I can think of better words to use to emphasize my feelings than the cuss words.  I mean, I'm trying to think of myself as a writer and writers are users of words.  They use lots of words.  On the positive side, does my cussing allow me to "fit in" situations that I may not fit into if I didn't cuss?  I wonder.

One part of the bible always comes to my mind when I ponder my language and the use of appropriate words.  The verses are Isaiah 6:6 & 7; Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar.  With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."

I know this doesn't say anything specifically about bad language, but if sin begins with what we think, then grows with what we say, and then blooms in our actions, it seems like cleaning up the language would be a good place to "nip this in the bud."  (to continue the metaphor)  I think the imagery of angels picking up hot coals with tongs and touching these coals to the lips of the prophet represent purification of the prophet's words as well as his sin.  The prophet MUST speak the truth to the people.  His words must be pure.

Back to my cussing issue.  I think, in my case, I'm going to need to begin with just saying nothing at all, instead of cussing.  People may begin to think I've developed a stutter while working on this "stop cussing" project.  Maybe the look on their faces as they watch me try to speak will help me with my smiling project, too.

Collin, he's 10 years old

I wasn't able to find an Angel Tree this year.  However, after talking to my study group, we decided to "adopt" two families for Christmas.  I was assigned Collin, he's 10 years old.  When these families are selected to be made available for Christmas "adoption" the children are asked to make a list of Christmas gifts they would like to receive.  To me, it sounds a lot like asking Santa for gifts, but instead of going in one ear and out the other, these kids will have a shot at actually getting the things they want for Christmas.  So, you can call me Santa, Collin.  It's crystal clear I have not been hanging around with many 10 year old boys lately.  I'd like to share Collin's list.  Any insight into what the heck some of these things are will be appreciated.

Pajama pants - size 10-12
Color Explosion 3D
Color Explosion Illusion
Color Explosion Glow Book
Color Explosion Glow Dome
Halo Character Masterchief
Connect 4 Sponge Bob
Sorry Spin
Sonic Book Volume 13
XBox 360 Disney Universe
XBox 360 Skylander
XBox 360 Spy Rose Adventure

Yikes!!!  I know what pajama pants are.  I'm fairly clear on Connect 4, however the Sponge Bob thing has me a bit baffled.  Everything else is a mystery to me.

I'm very happy to be able to adopt Collin this Christmas.  I hope he has a wonderful Christmas morning and feels the love.  I have to have the gifts purchased and wrapped by Monday, so there is that pressure (I'm going to AC for the weekend).  But, all in all, I'm loving it.  So far this Christmas is turning out to be one of the best, EVER.

My tree is up.  My house has lights on the outside.  I bought ingredients for one type of cookies, but I'll make four batches for gifts.  I'm anticipating the coming of my King.  Today I read about Jesus being the servant of all.  In Mark's gospel, Jesus took a child in his arms and told his disciples whoever received a child in his name would receive him, and the one who sent him.  Today, I will focus on being a servant.  The first person I will serve is Collin.  He's 10 years old.

Linked to Emily at Imperfect Prose.

Participating in Advent

Advent is the liturgical period preceding Christmas, beginning on the fourth Sunday before Christmas.  The focus is the coming of Jesus at the Incarnation and observed by many Christians as a season of prayer, fasting and penitence.

Participating in Advent is a wonderful way to put the focus on what Christmas really is all about.  Jesus was born to be a savior to the world.  God come to earth, incarnate.  Emmanuel.

I've never really focused on Advent in a personal way.  Sure, I've seen the church pick a family to come up to the front during Sunday service and light a candle on the wreath and read a Bible verse and pray a prayer.  This is usually quite entertaining as the small child lighting the candle brings all the suspense and tension of a disaster movie and the verse and prayer is usually inaudible and guessing what is being said makes the imagination wander into areas best not brought into the sanctuary.  Advent always seemed, to me, to be made for children.  I've seen Advent calendars with little doors to open with candy treats inside.  It always looked like the countdown to Santa's arrival rather than the coming of the King.

I've discovered Advent reminds us to focus on the second coming of our King and reminds us to keep Jesus at the center of our lives.  I know this is something I need to do.  I've found myself at the center of my life for far too long, lately.

I've found an Advent app for my iPhone with a Bible study to guide me through Advent.  I hope to learn more about Advent.  I'd like to learn what the candles mean and why there is a pink candle.  I'd like to move Jesus into the center of my thoughts and my life and, certainly, my Christmas.  The first day begins with Simeon and Anna meeting the Holy family and witnessing a promise they each had waited every day to see fulfilled in their lifetimes.  I want my Advent season filled with the anticipation of the coming of Christ, at Christmas and at the second coming.  I hope to be able to share more of my discoveries with you as this ADVENTure in Advent unfolds.

Happy Advent.  Oh come, Emmanuel.

Linking with Em at Imperfect Prose.

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!

And, we're off...

I feel it in my bones.  The anticipation of completing my Christmas checklist on time and getting it done just right.  It's funny, I pretty sure no one else in my family is feeling this same anxiety.  Just me.

I wonder how these traditions became ingrained in my head?  I have to have Christmas lights on the outside of the house, wreaths on all the windows, at least one decorated Christmas tree (but 2 or 3 trees would be better), decorate the house with assorted decorations and greenery, send out all the Christmas cards, bake the Christmas cookies, shop for the gifts, wrap the gifts, clean the house, invite friends to the house, make the Christmas dinner.  Did I miss anything?

I'm torn between wanting to make Christmas memorable by doing the Christmas traditions and making Christmas meaningful by doing things for others in the name of Jesus.  In the end, I'm feeling as if I've added more to my Christmas busyness than I've taken away from it.

I am a woman who is able to remove an article of clothing from her closet for each new article of clothing added to her closet.  I am a woman who is able to toss items left unused or unworn for one year, but, I can't seem to let go of any Christmas traditions.  I have friends who send New Year cards because doing Christmas cards is too time costly.  I know of people who do not put up a Christmas tree in their home or lights on their home, and yet, they still manage to call it Christmas.  I want to be one of those people.  How do they do it? 

I've written on this blog about wanting Christmas to be different this year.  I'm still working on it.  Today I am mailing off my Soldier Angel Christmas cards.  Somehow, I cannot let these Soldier Angel cards replace the cards I send to friends and family, but in my heart I think this would be the most appropriate thing to do to minimize Christmas busyness.  We sent off our shoebox Christmas gifts, but this will not replace the gifts we give each other in our family.  Although, I think they should because this would minimize our Christmas spending. 

Maybe the best idea for me would be to just do less.  This year I will give my son just one gift.  (not counting socks and underwear, because, well just because)  I'm hesitant to say I will give my husband only one gift, (mostly because he reads my blog and he may not be happy with this decision) but maybe just one gift would be OK this year.  As for me, I would like to receive the gift of an organized house this year.  Maybe this will help me have a more meaningful Christmas.

I'm trying to think of my next meaningful Christmas giving.  I would like to find an Angel Tree in the area.  I've seen these before and I like the idea behind them.  This mission is to give Christmas gifts to the children in the area who have a mother or father in prison.  There used to be a department store in our area that always had one of these Angel Trees.  It was in a part of town I don't usually visit.  I liked it because you could go in the store, take some cards off the tree, shop for the gifts written on the cards while you were in the store and then leave them under the tree.  It felt really right and I didn't mind the fact that it promoted shopping in that particular store.  Too bad this store isn't open anymore.  I'm going to have to go hunting for one like it.  I'll let you know how this works out for me. 
 
In the meantime, I will continue my attempts at minimizing my Christmas busyness and maximizing my Christmas purpose.  Wish me luck.

Is it Thanksgiving or black Friday?

I've never been a fan of the black Friday.  I don't like the crowds.  I don't like the pushing and shoving and waiting in line.  That being said, I've become a fan of the Thanksgiving midnight madness.  Don't get me wrong, I don't want to participate, I want to gawk.  I have had the pleasure of strolling through the mall or outlet mall parking area looking at the people in line around the block to get into a store to save an extra 10% on an item that probably won't be appreciated and will most likely will end up costing 25% more because of the finance charges of the credit card company.  It's a spectacle that amuses me and saddens me, simultaneously.  This Thanksgiving evening, most likely, I will go and watch.  I will think about the dinner I ate this day while I walk and fool myself into thinking I'm exercising.  I will see the people in their pajamas, participating in a promotional gimmick.  I will see children awake and up way past an acceptable bedtime and observe them being trained in overspending and developing an entitlement mentality.  There will be thousands upon thousands of people participating in the madness.

My desire is to forgo the madness.  I don't want to be sucked into the whirlwind of the holiday frenzy.  I remember a day 21 years ago.  I lived in Monterey, CA.  It was during the Gulf War.  I felt so blessed.  My husband was in PG school and not stationed on a ship in the Gulf.  He was home with me and we were celebrating Christmas as a family.  We were sponsoring an Israeli  family.  The dad was in the Israeli Air Force and the mom was a stay at home mom, like me.  They had a little girl, I had a little boy.  One day we walked into town to walk the children and have time out of the house.  There were Christmas decorations all around and Christmas music playing.  The mom asked me a pointed question.  It was her first time in the U.S and she asked me, "Isn't Christmas a religious holiday?"  I looked around.  I couldn't see any evidence of a religious aspect to this holiday.  Here I was, an American Christian talking to a Israeli Jew and I couldn't explain the lack of religious identifiers anywhere around me.  And, this was 21 years ago.  And, this was in a country at war.  My Israeli friend was worried about SCUD missiles being rocketed into her country.  The fear of her friends and family being attacked with poison gas.  It made me a little sick to think I lived in a country where so many people weren't even thinking about the war and weren't thinking about the significance of the holiday they were celebrating.

We are now 10 years past 9/11.  We have been attacked on our soil.  Our country is at war, again.  I believe we are even further into the abyss and even more intentional in our ignoring of the religious significance of the holiday we celebrate.  I'm afraid we, who believe, may be becoming quieter and quieter about our beliefs.  We don't want to upset anyone.  We want to be tolerant.  We want to blame the government and the banks for our greed and impatience.  We want what we want when we want it.  I want to stop this madness, at least I want to stop it in my house.

What do I want for Christmas?  I want my house back together.  I want a closer relationship with my husband and son.  I want a closer walk with my Lord.  I wonder if these things can be wrapped and set under the tree?  I'm going to try.  I think my next Christmas project will be to send Christmas cards to wounded soldiers.

If you would like to reach out to a wounded hero this Holiday Season, here is a great options that will ensure your card makes it to a wounded warrior who needs to know someone cares.  (IMPORTANT NOTE:  Please avoid sending anything with glitter--it tends to get everywhere, of course, even in wounds and bandages.):
Send your cards to Soldiers' Angels.  They will be included in Holiday gifts for wounded warriors and hand-delivered at major military medical centers and VA facilities across the country:

You only have a few days left for this Christmas.

Soldiers' Angels

Cards for the Wounded

4408 N. PanAm Exprwy

San Antonio, TX 78218

Christmas child shoe boxes = happiness

I went shopping and gathered the booty for the Christmas child shoe boxes.  This is the project I wrote about in my post about doing Christmas differently this year.  It was so much fun.  I can't believe how much it helped get me in the Christmas spirit.  I'm going to take a pic of each of us (husband, son and me) and add an envelope with our pics and a short note wishing Christmas joy and hope for the child opening the box.  I was able to go shopping with a co-worker on my lunch break.  It was wonderful to share the true meaning of Christmas with someone I usually don't talk about stuff like that with.  I can feel the Holy Spirit softening my heart.  It was fun and encouraging, to both of us.  I'm working on my Thanksgiving thankfulness list, next.  I need to write it down this year.  I think the season has been kicked off to a good start.  Oh, and I hope the church ladies have extra shoe boxes, 'cause I didn't have any at my house.

Gifts for three shoe boxes

Booty = kick ball, lego car, lifesavers, boxers, socks, uno card game, crayons, markers, composition book, pencils and sharpener, toothpaste, toothbrush, and dental floss.  (yeah, I don't know if a 5-9 year old boy wants floss, but, really, taking care of your gums is so important for good health in general.  :))

I want to do Christmas different this year

Today I woke up and thought to myself, "I don't want to put up a Christmas tree this year."  I'm struggling with the "holiday spirit" thing.  I know I need to recognize Christmas.  My family expects a certain amount of Christmas around our house.  Maybe I'm just tired from all the house repairs and work to organize and re-organize the house a tree came into it from hurricane Irene.  Maybe I'm just broke because the economy is in the toilet and I've spent all my extra cash on everything the insurance wouldn't pay for.  Like all the trees that DIDN'T hit my house, but are laying in my back yard and front yard.  Maybe it's because I've found a Bible study group I like and I'm making an effort to do things the way I think Jesus would like them done.  You can see, my list of excuses run from completely selfish to altruistic.

I heard about the Shoebox Project being done by Samaritan's Purse.  (click the link)  I think this looks like a good way to get me into the Christmas spirit.  I have to have my box done by November 20th for it to get to my child by Christmas.  You may have more time, but I don't know where you are when you are reading this.  Check the link, it has drop-off places and times.  I want to thank God for waking me up this morning with such a Ebenezer Scrooge-like attitude, bah hum-bug Christmas.  I also would like to thank him for reminding me it is much better to give than to receive.  I'm going to do three shoeboxes.  One from each member of my family.  I won't force the others to join me in the making, but I'll ask them if they'd like to participate.  Maybe they need help getting in the Christmas spirit, too.  I watched this YouTube video on making the boxes.

Just thinking about participating in this project is warming my heart.  Maybe I will put up a Christmas tree this year.  And, maybe some lights on the outside of the house would look festive.  I may have to draw the line at cookie baking.  Baking, *sigh*, that is a lot of work...

I've read all the blog complaining about Christmas coming too early and too much commercialism.  But, click on the links and watch the video.  I'm going to share the love of Christ by giving to a child on Christmas this year.  This is the first way I'm going to do Christmas differently this year.  Check back with me and see what other ways I find to put Jesus back in my Christmas.  Feel free to share any of your Christmas ideas with me.  I'd love to hear how your family traditions keep Jesus in Christmas.

Linked with Emily at Imperfect Prose