Raising children the Downton Abbey way

I'm having my own private Downton Abbey week.  While surfing all things Downton Abbey on the interwebs, I discovered that season 4 will not begin to be aired in the United States until January 2014.  (pause... to allow for tear wiping)  However, season 4 WILL begin to air in the United Kingdom in October 2013.  (if only we had a queen here in the US.  oh Oprah, why oh why won't you use your power for good, rather than electing poor presidents and promoting movies you buy in order to act?)

As I continue in my longing for Downton Abbey to return to my living room I thought I'd share a little blog I found about raising children the Downton Abbey way.  I mean, seriously, they raise better children on that show than we do.   (even if they only use doctors that tell them what they want to hear which allows their daughter to die after childbirth from preeclampsia / eclampsia.)  I am so looking forward to see how baby George (the new heir of Downton and, by AMAZING coincidence the same name as the new heir to the throne of England) is going to be raised.  I cannot wait.

But we don't have to wait.  Mary Dell Harrington and Lisa Endlich Heffernan have written a blog laying out 17 parenting lessons from Downton Abbey.  If we learn nothing at all from watching the best show on PBS, EVER!, we can learn how to raise good and proper children.

1. Grandparents have a crucial role to play in any family as dispensers of wisdom and healers of souls. No one can put a situation into perspective better than someone who has seen seven decades pass. In times of pain and panic, it is the Dowager who is needed most.

2. If we do not change with the times and listen to those much younger than ourselves -- our children in particular, even when they seem callow and naive -- we will soon become obsolete. The world is spinning on and we must listen to the young or risk forever being a prisoner of 1923 or 2013. Even without a sneak peak of Episode Six, it is clear that Robert better start listening to Matthew.

3. We mustn't wait until caught in the grips of grieving to tell our siblings how much they mean to us. The sibling relationship is life's longest, and we would be fools take it for granted.

4. A home is truly only a building, even if it is Downton Abbey. Losing it or any other possessions matters little compared to losing those we love. We did not shed a tear when we thought the family would lose their beloved Downton; the same cannot be said of Sybil's passing.

5. If our child finds true love (or friendship), whether or not the object of that love is someone we would have selected, we must rejoice for them. A seeming gentleman might jilt our daughter at the altar, but a good man will love her until her last breath. One need only look at the sad episode of Edith and Anthony versus the true love shared by Sybil and Tom.

6. Our children need and deserve our understanding and forgiveness -- true forgiveness, even when they have done wrong. We love them and that love must transcend their mistakes. Mary's painful transgression with Kemal Pamuk did not deprive her of her father's love.

7. Never underestimate the power of a well-chosen few words. Speaking softly but strongly can have amazing results. The Dowager and Dr. Clarkson chose their words judiciously so that even though Cora's heart was breaking, she was not alone.

8. People can reinvent themselves -- just give them a chance to prove that they've changed, and avoid being judgmental and closed-minded, as the family was with Ethel.  (the housemaid that got knocked up)

9. When our deepest gut feeling tells us that there is something wrong with our child, even when experts may not agree, we need to follow our gut. Watching our child for a lifetime, through all of its up and downs, makes us an expert. No one knew Sybil better than her own mother.

10. Turning on those we love at life's worst moments -- although perhaps understandable in our rage -- will only magnify our grief. True consolation and understanding come from those we love the most, as Robert and Cora learn.

11. If someone truly cares for us, we should give them the chance to show how much. It is amazing what good things happen when we let love into our lives, as Daisy did with Mr. Mason.

12. When things are difficult, it helps to have someone to talk to honestly. True friendships are one of life's greatest gifts. We must not keep our problems bottled up inside. Where would Mrs. Hughes be without the loyal Mrs. Patmore?

13. We should teach our children to have faith in the people they love, even at the worst of times, like Anna and Mr. Bates.

14. If we have different rules and standards for our sons and daughters, things will not go well. If Mary could have inherited Downton Abbey, the show might have ended after the first season.

15. We must teach our children to be careful with their trust and alliances. Some who appear to be their friends will betray them. It is hard to know if someone is an O'Brien or a Thomas.

16. The loyalty and love of our children is one of life's greatest blessings, never to be taken lightly. Mary's loyalty to her father, when he is right and even when he is wrong, is a source of comfort and strength.

17. We don't need to like or even approve of everything our children do, but we can still offer encouragement. When our children's passions emerge and they show real enterprise, they need us as their supporters. It is hard not to imagine that someday Robert will be proud of a daughter who is a successful journalist.

Oh how will I wait until January?

431.  New boss, old boss and HR up in a meeting about ME this morning...  I'm still on their radar
432.  Son going to a Job Fair today with a new resume.  Please pray for him to find a job
433.  Looking for motivation and finding it
434.  Cold pizza for lunch
435.  Thinking about taking a trip to Maine and grateful that it will be there when I get there
436.  Being ok that most people aren't has taken with Downton Abbey as I am
437.  Hummingbirds
438.  People that actually focus on raising their children and make it their priority
439.  Being held accountable for your actions and not coddled
440.  Prayer.  I have so many prayers for my son, myself, my nation and other things today.  I'm glad it's a thing God doesn't mind that I do.  Even if I'm just begging

It's Downton Abbey week and let's learn how to love like a lady

Can you believe it's the middle of August?  I mean, kids are going back to school.  Essentially, summer is over.  Done.  We're just about back to the old routine.  And speaking of the old routine... I'm missing Downton Abbey.  Aren't you?  I thought I would indulge myself in thinking about all things Downton.  Sure, I'm going to miss Matthew.  It'll be interesting to watch Mary fall in love again, or not.

I learn so much from Downton Abbey.  I'd love to have the Dowager Countess' quick wit.  I'd love to have Lady Mary's strength and confidence.  I'd love to have Lady Grantham's figure.  And don't get me started on the servants.  I covet servants.  Yet on the personal side, I'd love to have Anna's sweet disposition.

While I was longing for a little Downton Abby love I stumbled upon some blogs.  I know I'm stealing, but I'll give credit where credit is due (just click the title).  I thought some of theses were too good to miss.

5 Love Lessons From Downton Abbey 

1.  Time is precious, don't waste it!  Most of the drama between Lady Mary and Cousin Matthew could have been avoided if either one of these two said three simple words as soon as they felt them to be true: I love you.  Instead, for two seasons we watched these two stubborn, reserved individuals go through love and war — literally — together and apart, with our heart in knots.  Though they finally confessed their love for each other, other couples aren’t so lucky and never get the chance.  If you love someone, tell them while you can — because there may come a time when it is too late.

2.  We all want what we can't have. When Lady Mary's family initially tried to set her up with Cousin Matthew in an effort to secure the family estate, Lady Mary was repulsed and refused him. She turned her nose up to Cousin Matthew, dismissing him as a social-climbing nobody. Cousin Matthew wasn’t so keen on being with the snobbish Lady Mary either. However, as the two got to know one another and a relationship became impossible and forbidden, they quickly fell for each other, reminding us of an age old saying: we all want what we can’t have.

3. Sometimes things don't happen like you expect them to happen. When Lavinia Swire appeared in season two as Cousin Matthew’s fiancé and he seemed to truly LOVE her, it looked like a future for Lady Mary and Matthew was out of the question. It was hard to hate the pitiful Lavinia, who tried to do the honorable thing by staying with Cousin Matthew even after he was injured in the war and unable to bear children. Let's be honest though — we all breathed a huge (guilty) sigh of relief when Lavinia came down with the Spanish Flu. After she caught Matthew and Lady Mary kissing shortly before she died, she said, "I do have some self-worth, just not enough to make you marry the wrong person." Though it was unfortunate for Lavinia, finally, the road was clear for Lady Mary and Matthew to be together again.

4. Don't settle for love. When Lady Mary became engaged to the scoundrel-like newspaper mogul Sir Richard Carlisle, who couldn’t hold a candle to Rhett Butler, she embarked upon a path which so many people follow when they stop believing in love and give up on their lives. With Sir Richard, Lady Mary’s eyes became vacant, her spirit lifeless, her attitude mellow and subdued. Even Lord Grantham and Lady Cora didn’t want their daughter to be with the cunning Sir Richard, despite his wealth and power. Thankfully, Lady Mary came to her senses and saved herself by bravely breaking up with her fiancé, even though he threatened to ruin her by exposing her scandal so the world would know she was “not virtuous.” Lady Mary didn’t care, having been freed at last from a lifetime trapped in a loveless marriage.  The lesson: don’t ever settle for love, or you’ll be preventing yourself from finding true happiness.

5. Love isn't about being flawless.  American poet and author Henry Van Dyke once said, "Love is the heart's immortal thirst to be completely known and all forgiven."  There is no better example of love’s forgiveness than in Downton Abbey.  When Cousin Matthew is injured in the war and may never walk again or have children, all while being engaged to someone else, Lady Mary never leaves his side and accepts him for all that he is.  Likewise, Matthew dismisses any skeletons in Lady Mary’s closet (like the scandalous death of Mary’s first lover, the Turkish diplomat), when he so lovingly says, "You've lived your life, and I've lived mine. Now it's time we've lived them together."

426.  Husband home today (I missed him)
427.  Cake (chocolate)
428.  Sunshine (I miss it now that my office is in a basement)
429.  Jeff Lewis Interior Therapy (I just discovered this show.  I like it.)
430.  Mondays (they really aren't all that bad)

Those olympians are so lucky

I've been watching the olympics and enjoying the heck out of it.  I know NBC has had it's share of screw-ups in the broadcasting, but all-in-all, it's been fun to watch.  Since I'm a person without the opportunity or time to watch the events live, streaming on the inter-webs, NBC what I've got.

It's funny, to me, at least, how watching these summer olympics every four years finds me in a different paradigm just about each and every time.  I remember there was a time when I watched and thought to myself, I could DO that, if I really put forth some effort.  Then I'd get out there and start pounding the track or swimming (gymnastics were never my thing).  Later in my life I'd watch the olympics and think, my kid could DO that, if I get him in gymnastics class and on a swim team and playing basketball and buy him a horse (no, I never seriously thought about buying him a horse, although I do enjoy watching the equestrian events).  Now, I think I enjoy watching the parents of the gymnasts as much as I enjoy the gymnastics.  I remember my husband and I tag teaming the kid to gymnastics class.  I enjoy watching Michael Phelps' mom and Missy Franklin's parents and I remember sitting in the hot sun at so many swim meets I can't even count and I remember how hoarse I'd be from screaming encouragement to those kids.  Now, I adore seeing the 54 year old British equestrian and I feel pride, even though all I've done in my 55 years is stay alive.   

Those olympians are so lucky to be able to compete at this global level.  They get to be on tv and have the world watching them.  The parents of those olympians are so lucky to have kids that are so good at their sport or activity.  Lucky.  Yeah, lucky.

When I watch the olympics I think of thousands and thousands of hours of training and running and driving to and forth from practice.  I think of coaches and fundraisers and sacrifice.  I think about hours of homework done in the car or up late at night or getting up in the wee hours of the morning.  I don't think I'm exaggerating one little bit when I say thousands of hours.  Those olympians, they are so lucky.

Ya think?

503.  Today's work day is much much better
504.  Encouraging bloggers
505.  Bloggers with great housekeeping ideas
506.  Funny bloggers
507.  Even bloggers who've seemed to take a vacation from blogging (they remind me it's ok to take a break sometimes)

The key to success in whatever you do in life

I just heard a great quote about the key to success.  I decided to write a post about it (before I forget, 'cause that happens sometimes) because I hope EVERYONE gets an opportunity to hear it.  Today I was flipping through the channels looking for something to veg in front of for a few minutes.  (yeah, yeah I know I have a chore list to get around to)  I stopped on the image of John Leguizamo on HBO's The Latino List.  He was talking about his hit movies and work on Broadway.  He said something funny about getting a LOT of fan mail from prisons for his work on the movie To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar.  He was talking about making a name for himself in Hollywood.  He was talking about how agents and others told him to down play his ethnicity.  He was encouraged to tell agents and producers he was Italian and to change his name and stay out of the sun.  He, of course, didn't do this.  He was proud of his Colombian heritage.  I wasn't listening to everything he said, but this one thing caught my attention.  He was talking about his children and the advice he was giving them regarding how to be successful in whatever they chose to do in their lives.  I wish I could replay exactly what he said, but this is the nearest I can recall.  He said, to his kids;

"If you spend 10,000 hours at anything, you can be successful at it."

This is such good advice.  I think every person should hear it and believe it.  Success is not instant.  Success is not being lucky.  Success comes from hard work and lots of it.

Home sweet home

I am glad to be home.  There is just something so good about home, even if you don't like where you live all that much.  It's yours.  Your bed.  Your couch.  Your space.  There is a serenity in going into your room and having your space and privacy.  I love to travel and visit people.  I love to eat out and talk and drink and socialize.  I REALLY love coming home.

So, I am home.  Yesterday I stayed home to catch up on the laundry and general "get back to a routine" that comes with a week of being away.  First of all, the dog missed us.  He may be old, and just about blind, and I'm pretty sure he's deaf, and has a hard time climbing the stairs, but he knows whether we are home or not.  So yesterday I stayed home all day and he stayed by my side the entire day.  Job one, done.  I helped the dog to feel secure and cared for again. 

Secondly, I had to do laundry.  Now, you may think this was a chore, but au contraire mon frere.  I was doing my laundry in a State Of The Art, High Efficiency Top Loading Kenmore Elite washing machine, with matching dryer.  *Let the oohing and aahing begin.  Yes, it was magnificent.  I must tell you, I have to learn how to do laundry all over again.  My laundry looked pitiful in this 7.4 cubic foot capacity machine.  Next time I do wash I'll post it as my status on fb and get my friends to bring their dirty clothes to my house, we'll have a party and everyone will go home with clean clothes and a pleasant attitude.  Wow, you can fit a lot of clothes or towels or bedspreads or WHATEVER in that baby.  But, like all good things, there is a down side.  I have no idea how this sucker works.  I cannot see how the clothes move around inside that agitatorless tub.  After you listen to the lovely chimes as the machine powers up, then select the method (and there are a lot of these, please hand me the instruction book), and then press START, the lid on the machine LOCKS.  Click.  Sounds I have never heard coming from a washing machine begin.  It is a complete mystery to me.  I cannot tell you how curious I am.  I need to do some kind of internet search to discover what is going on in there.  If any of you know, please share.  Seriously.  :)

My final joy in being in my own home was my opportunity to indulge in one of my guilty pleasures, Hoarders on A&E.  Oh my, it was a good one.  I dvr this program and I am not allowed to watch it while my husband is IN THE HOUSE.  The show creeps him out, completely.  I have to tell you; this particular episode was especially gag evoking.  I admit, I gagged.  The guy on this particular episode had a one year old and a two year old living in the trailer with him.  The two year old had a cough that rattled MY stomach.  The psychologist sent to TALK TO this guy, and by talk to I mean hit him upside the head with a 2"x4", said it was the worst smelling place she had EVER been.  And she does this for a full-time job.  In fact, I had to pause the show and collect myself.  It happens.  This particular episode motivated me to clean out my pantry.  I couldn't feel good about myself until I had thoroughly purged and cleaned my pantry.  I had Kool Aid packets in there that were 15 years old.  *hanging head in shame*  I don't make Kool Aid anymore.  I had those Cookies in a Mason Jar things from two Christmases ago.  Yeah, I was becoming a hoarder.  My pantry is the picture of organization and freshness.  I feel SO MUCH better about myself.

So, home sweet home.  I'm here for a couple weeks and then off to Reno, NV for the Naval Aviation Tailhook convention.  I'm going to have to bring back pictures from this trip.  The way I've been traveling this summer, maybe I should be writing a travel blog instead of a slice of life blog.  Hmmm.

I'm in love with Doc Martin

I know...  This is nuts, isn't it...  I mean, really...  Who falls in love with a tv show.  Yeah, it's a tv show.
 
There must be something seriously wrong with me.  I am magnetically drawn to British television.  I don't know if it's the scenery or the accents or what, but I am drawn like a moth to a flame.  I can't help myself.  At first it was the presentation of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.  I wasn't too worried about this.  I mean, after all, what woman can't get next to Elizabeth Bennett.  And, Colin Firth was the quintessential Mr. Darcy.  I just thought I was addicted to period pieces.  I thought it was the way they presented the ENTIRE book in all it's glory.  No combined characters or abbreviated conversations.  I love this book and have read it more times than I like to admit.  Therefore, I chalked my being drawn to public television to this one event. 
 
And then there are the Masterpiece Mystery's of Agatha Christie.  I LOVE Miss Marple.  I ADORE Hercule Poirot.  Of course, I've read all Agatha's books as well.  And, I've read them more than once.  I know, I have a sickness.  I love the art deco theme of Poirot.  I love the village of St. Mary Mead.  I love the language.  There, I've said it.  I just love the way those English men and women speak.  Or, at least how they speak on the pbs series. 

Then, darn it, they came out with the entire Jane Austen series.  Really, were they just trying to suck me into the television opiate of the masses?  That darn pbs with their horrible telethons.  I have always loathed the way they schedule their best programming when they interrupt with the begging for money and the cheap tote bags.  But, the entire Jane Austen series.  I was drawn in.  Hook, Line, and Sinker.  Yeah, I was had.  Sure it was the condensed versions of the books, but it was beautiful.  The scenery was beautiful.  The costuming was gorgeous.  I was enthralled.

And now I've discovered Doc Martin.  Friday I was home recovering from my little test and I thought I'd watch something on Netfilx.  Do you know 20% of internet viewing these days is Netflix.  Yeah, unbelievable.  During a typical day on the internet 20% of the hits are on Netflix and 72% are porn hits.  I'm guessing the rest of the percentage leans more toward facebook than research for term papers.  Just sayin'.  Now I've digressed.  Back to Doc Martin.  Anyway, pbs has hooked me again.  I can't get enough of the haemophobic doctor.  I so wish I could tell people to "shut up" as often as he does.  I feel like I'm living vicariously through him.  So, this past weekend was a Doc Martin marathon.  Too much, really, but it was HOT here in the mid-Atlantic.  I mean, Monday was crazy hot.  I went to a picnic but I was sweating like a pig.  It was too hot to eat.  And there wasn't enough water to cool me off.  I asked my husband to take me home after two hours and he was MORE than ready.  Anyway, back to Doc Martin.  I'm living in picturesque Port Wenn in my mind.  I find myself horrified to look out my window and see where I actually am.  I'm dreaming of going home from work and watching more Doc Martin.  It's a sickness. 
 
Thanks pbs.  I'm hooked.  Who knows, I may be carrying a tote bag before too long.