Blogging perk

One of my readers sent me a bunch samples of her skin care line after reading this post about Tamoxifen and my skin.  I was so surprised to receive an email from a reader offering help for my sad, sad skin.  Maryclaire Mayes is the founder of Alabu skin care.  Maryclaire has no idea I'm sharing her skin care line with my readers and hasn't given me anything more than an envelope full of samples of her product.

My favorite product was her Almond Body Lotion.  The lotion was absorbed into my skin so quickly and the scent of almonds was lovely.  I love the fact that the product is truly natural and nothing artificial is used.  Another product Maryclaire shared with me was a bar of her Goat Milk Soap.  It doesn't dry out my skin as much as the commercial soap I was using prior to using the samples of her product.  My skin is much less dry and the crepe paper-like texture has much improved.  The Shea Body Butter is another luscious product.  I used it on my feet every night of my vacation.  It kept my feet looking "sandal ready" throughout the trip.  Lastly, and most surprisingly, I loved the Replenish Facial Moisturizer.  I was surprised I liked it so much because when I opened the packet I discovered the product was an oil.  I didn't think I would like it.  I thought it would make my face look oily.  I was so wrong.  My skin drank in the product and there was no oiliness on my face.  When I was thinking about how this worked, it made perfect sense to me.  Other moisturizers add water to their product and Alabu does not.  When you think about it, why do I want to pay for water?

This post is my thank you note to Maryclaire Mayers for reading my blog and for sending me the samples of her wonderful product.  Click here and check out the Alabu skin care line.  I think this girl is on to something good.  :)

317.  Wonderful readers
318.  Felling better in my skin
319.  Supporting small businesses
320.  Sharing things I love

It's a jungle out there

I don't know if this is normal or not, but I'm scared all the time.  I'm not as compulsively fearful as the character Monk on that tv show.  I mean, I'm not quite as afraid of germs as he is, but there is no way I'm drinking bathroom water.  I don't need to have an assistant with me to walk outside my home.  But I have to admit, I totally understand that character.  No one would know it by looking at me.  I put on a pretty good act of confidence to make sure no one knows.  I wonder, sometimes, if other people are scared as much as I am.  We all try so hard to look like we know what we are doing.  We don't want anyone to see our fear.  That would be a sign of weakness.

I don't let the fact of being perpetually scared keep me from doing most things.  (no way will I be jumping out of an airplane)  I'm just, more often than not, scared before I do them.  I'm typically not scared to drive to work, but today a car pulled out right in front of me and I had to slam on the breaks.  Fortunately I was looking out for something just like this to happen, because I'm always afraid I'll get in a car accident while I'm driving.  Last night there was a storm and I was afraid.  I was afraid another tree would fall on my house.  I wasn't so afraid that I didn't sleep.  But I was nervous, so I took a benadryl to insure I would fall asleep.  I'm often afraid at work.  I know how to do my job and I'm pretty confident, but I am still afraid I'll do something wrong or forget to do something I need to do.  I'm afraid to meet new people and go to new places.  Even though I do these things, there is a little ball of fear in my belly when I do them.  I'm afraid for my son's future and what he'll do when he is on his own.  Will he be ok?  I'm afraid something will happen to my husband.  I'm afraid he'll leave me or, worse, die.  I'm afraid to be without him. 

When I'm doing something I am confident I do well, I'm still afraid of other things that are out of my control.  I can be performing well at work and be afraid I will suddenly do something horribly wrong.  How is it that I can be confident and afraid at the same time?  Does this happen to anyone else?  I remember one time I was in the car with my mom.  She tells me that sometimes she feels an impulse to yank the steering wheel of the car and drive in the lane of oncoming traffic.  Are you kidding me?  I asked her not to do that, or better yet, let me drive.  But the scariest part of this exchange was the thought in my head that, I too, have had this same thought.  What is up with that? 

I read about being authentic and not wearing masks and showing the world the real you.  I'm wondering if anyone can truly do this.  I don't know how revealing the little ball of fear, whether rational or irrational, I often have in my belly would help any situation.  What good would it do for others to be made aware of my fears or my (very rare) crazy thoughts.  After all, most of the time, I'm able to push through my fear.  Am I wearing a mask when I push through my fear and join a small group bible study when I only know one of the people in the group and the rest are all new faces?  Am I being inauthentic when I contribute in a meeting and I'm afraid I'll miss something that is said and not have it recorded in the minute?.  Am I showing a false face when I drive to a place I've never been before and use the map on my phone to get me there and have to watch for traffic I'm not used to watching?

This world is a scary place.  Lots of bad things can happen.  There are many things we can't control.  So every morning I tell God I'm afraid.  I'm afraid and I'm going to need his help today.  I trust he will not let me down.  Even when my fears come true, I know God is there.  And when it all turns out alright, I know he was there, as well.  Every morning, when the alarm goes off, I tell God I'm afraid and I need his help.  

It's a jungle out there
Disorder and confusion everywhere
No one seems to care... well I do.

Linking with Emily at Imperfect Prose on Thursday

312.  Waking up and seeing the storm has passed

313.  A peaceful day

314.  Avoiding an accident

315.  Being a child of the creator of the universe

316.  Pushing through fear

It's better to forgive

Last night my small group bible study focused on "The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant" from Matthew 18:21-35."

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him.  Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 

At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’  

The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. 

But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.  He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. 

His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ 

But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 

When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.  Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’  In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 

This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” 

I'm going to cut straight to the chase regarding the bottom line of this parable.  Forgive others as you have been forgiven.  The unmerciful servant was forgive an extraordinary amount of money.  He would never have been able to repay his master.  The forgiveness the master gave this servant was remarkable and extremely generous.  Then the unmerciful servant came upon a servant that owed him a small amount of money and demanded repayment and withheld forgiveness.  This lack of forgiveness in the unmerciful servant is appalling to the other servants, as it should be.  The gall of this unmerciful servant is appalling and nobody feels bad for him when he is thrown in jail and tortured.

Forgiveness, we decided, is a process.  There is nothing in this story that indicates forgiveness has to happen immediately.  There are times when the injury is so great that time is needed before forgiveness can be considered.  Forgiveness is not a passive endeavor.  In fact, forgiveness is a very active process and shows great love and compassion to others. 

We also came to the conclusion that forgiveness is heals the forgiver even more than the forgiven.  Forgiving relieves us from pain and bitterness.  It's been said that not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.  Not gonna happen.

Forgiveness does not remove accountability.  You can have both, forgiveness and accountability.  Also, forgiving someone does not mean you are saying their actions were acceptable.  Actions have consequences and forgiveness does not remove those consequences.

There is more to forgiveness than just saying, "I forgive you."  Forgiveness is a heart thing.  Forgiveness is the removal of the desire for vengeance.  We came to the conclusion that forgiveness can uplift people.  It not only uplifts the forgiver and the forgiven, but it can bring light and joy into the world and uplift witnesses of the act of forgiveness.  In the parable we see how the actions of the unmerciful servant were appalling to the servants witnessing the forgiveness.  Inversely, we see the impact of the forgiveness shown by the Amish community in Nickel, PA after the murder of the schoolgirls in 2006.  There were newspaper articles and segments on forgiveness on network magazine shows and books written.  This act of forgiveness was nationwide news.

So why is it so hard to forgive?  We all know of ongoing feuds and distance between family members caused by unforgiveness.  Sometimes, when asked, the parties involved in these situations may not even remember what caused the rift, but they are not going to be the one doing the forgiving.  Forgiveness is only hard when we take it out of the perspective of forgiving as we have been forgiven by God.  When we are alone and without the support of the community of believers, it is much more difficult to forgive.  (I'm not saying the only people that can forgive are believers because forgiveness is for all people)  A community of faith in Jesus Christ and belief in God can keep our perspective right and remind us of how much we have been forgiven.  (Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his love for us in this:  While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.)

306.  Studying God's word with broken, but forgiven people
307.  God's forgiveness
308.  Learning from my group and having examples of those much more mature in their faith than I am
309.  Hearing the truth and having the Holy Spirit living in me, confirm that it is truth
310.  Having the rift between my brother and father prayed for, daily, by Godly men and women
311.  Seeing the hearts of both these men begin to soften

I am linking with Shanda at On Your Heart Tuesdays

Everything looks easy

Everything looks easy when you watch someone who knows what they are doing, doing it.  Baseball looks easy when you watch the pros play.  But it's not easy to hit a ball or throw a strike.  It takes talent and practice and sacrifice of other things to do more practice.  Taking pictures looks easy when you go to a gallery and see pictures hanging on the wall.  But it's not easy to capture the most beautiful image.  It takes talent and patience and an eye for beauty.  A beautiful image comes from taking hundreds and hundreds of pictures and learning from your mistakes.  Baking a cake looks easy.  But it's not easy to bake.  It takes patience and practice and measuring and technique.  Everything looks easy until you give it a try.  Then you discover the work it takes to do a thing well.  Then you discover the talent people have who can perform or produce or bake or build.  Everything looks easy when you watch.  It's the doing that is hard.  It is the follow through that is hard.  It is the practice something takes to do well.  It is the discipline it takes to do well.  It is the education it takes to do well.  It is the investment of time, energy, and talent.  It is the sacrifice of leisure for study.  It is the sacrifice of sleep for practice.  It is the effort put forward that allows an activity to look effortless.

Living in a free nation seems easy.  Going to sleep at night without fear of bombs seems easy.  Walking to the store or getting on the bus to go to work without the dread of a bullet seems easy.  Anticipating an election and the possibility of a change of leadership without fear of a military presence to allow this to happen, seems easy.  But it's not.  We can thank the men and women of the Coast Guard, Air Force, Marines, Navy, and Army for the ease we feel in our nation.  Happy Memorial Day everyone.  I hope you had an opportunity to thank a service member and pray for the families of those members serving you today.

301.  The talented men and women serving our nation abroad
302.  The talented men and women serving our nation at home
303.  A day to honor those men and women that gave the ultimate sacrifice
304.  Freedom
305.  The police, fire, and emergency responders serving in our communities every day.

I've got nothing but gratitude today

284.  My boss letting us leave early today
285.  A 3-day weekend
286.  All service members who have and are serving our country
287.  My dear friend's son who lost his life due to PTSD and the war we continue to wage this day
288.  All the experiences I had while I traveled and walked by my husband's side as he served his 20 years in the United States Navy
289.  Living near a naval air station and seeing planes flying everyday
290.  Looking forward to seeing my brother and hearing him sing with his group on Sunday
291.  Having brunch at (fingers crossed) a cool french restaurant in DC with my husband and brother
292.  A wedding of a couple in my small group bible study (they are not young, but they believe in marriage)
293.  Sleeping in on Saturday (it's tough working a whole week after taking two weeks off)
294.  Fresh asparagus (yum yum)
295.  The last of the strawberries for the season
296.  A repaired air conditioner just in time for a very hot weekend
297.  My son taking another college class after acing his class last semester
298.  Being able to wish my dad a happy 84th birthday
299.  Knowing I need new shoes and having the time to buy some
300.  For the smile on my face and the feeling that is behind it matching it perfectly