Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Weak 2 and a half (yes, I mean weak)

Ok, I didn't rock week 2 in my 40 days of yoga.   I think my FABULOUS weekend away didn't help me out.  I got out of the routine.  I gained back my two pounds. :(  Ok, whining over.

I learned a lot of "stuff" about myself during week 2.  It all started with the exercise we had to do at the last Wednesday meeting.  We were to get out of our comfort zone by singing and dancing in front of a small group of five people.  Now, mind you, there were six small groups of five people and we could all see each other, but ...excuses excuses.  Well, I was a sourpuss about it.  I didn't want to do this.  At all.  No way.  But I did it.  Grudgingly.  Nobody could have done it MORE grudgingly or with a bigger frown on their face.  I was the CHAMPION of the crabby look.  So childish.  I'm embarrassed.  I had a breakthrough.

This may have been the tipping point resulting in the forgiveness I was finally able to allow in my life.  All the other people in the class were jumping around and laughing and singing and enjoying themselves.  What the heck was my problem?  Why couldn't I do it?  Somewhere along the evening I had decided I didn't want to participate.  I can't say why.  I really don't know why.  I just made up my mind for no good reason.  I didn't need a reason.  I'm a grown-up and I put on my party pooper pants and acted just that way.  WHAT WAS I THINKING?  I'd signed up for this 40 days without a gun to my head.  This wasn't something I HAD to do, I WANTED to do it.  Granted, I didn't know what it was going to involve, but that's the way it goes.  You pays the money, you gets what you get.  Anyway, I thought long and hard about my attitude and why it was so poor.  What was going on in my life keeping me from fully participating in my life?  And, the issue of an unforgiving spirit surfaced.  And, I forgave.  And, it feels good.

Now, there were other particulars of week 2 I was more successful at doing.  One was using fresh foods in my diet instead of processed foods.  I did this fairly well.  I took the time to peel and chop and cook.  Maybe I'll share some of those things at a later date.  Meditation didn't go so well.  I really need to make this a priority.  Like I've said before, I believe this is a discipline of the mind and a discipline to be in control of one's own thoughts.  I don't know the Bible very well, but I believe it says something about sin beginning in the mind and something else about taking hold of one's thought life.  Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

Tonight is the meeting for week 3.  I'm going in with an open mind and a desire to participate.  I'll do my first yoga practice in five days before the meeting.  I know it will be a physically difficult evening, but I'm excited.  I'm getting back with the program.  I'm not a quitter.  And, really, it's progress, not perfection.  Isn't it?


  1. Not loving the frowny face. I thought this was going to be a post about Charlie Sheen (the and a half bit threw me off) and I almost didn't read it.
    As I runner, I know that the majority of my running is done internally. Sometimes my husband has to give me a swift kick out of the door to get me going. It takes a while for new habits to form (spiritually and otherwise)I'm not sure which scripture you're referring to, but I'm a believer in "Sow a thought, reap a habit)It's the mind!

  2. most of us live in an unconcious unreality with regard to how we manage our lives, thoughts, actions...until, of course, we become...concious. sounds like you are having an awakening...and a good one...
    forgiveness is freedom...
    keep at it...

  3. Okay, first of all, I'm not one to do any correcting in regards to the Bible! It reminds me too much of the fundamental, legalists I ran from decades ago!

    Secondly, I have to share my most favoritist quote ever. Yes, I said favoritist. And no, I don't know if it's a word or not. *smile*

    Work like you don't need money,
    Love like you've never been hurt,
    And dance like no one's watching.

    Good luck tonight! YOU CAN DO IT!

  4. rock it out tonight, last week is behind you, have fun, whats the worst that can happen...smiles.

    and sorry if i was a bit prickly at my place today...

  5. forgiveness is hard work...just accomplishing that tells me your week was not wasted. i hope tonight was both challenging and fun!


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