Friday, July 29, 2011

Not my best week

This has been a tough week for me.  It started off with me alone.  My husband went on a weekend adventure to AC with his buddies to play in a poker tournament.  I was lonely last weekend.  I don't know how come I've grown so attached to him of late.  Immediately after we married my husband and I left for our honeymoon.  This is normal.  Most newly married couples go on a honeymoon just after they marry.  Our trip was just a bit different.  We married in Chicago, honeymooned in Knoxville, TN and visited the World's Fair.  Do they even have those anymore?  I haven't heard of them lately.  We chose the World's Fair because it was something to do on the way from Chicago to Jacksonville, FL.  I was being whisked away from my home in Chicago to live in Jacksonville, FL.  This is where my husband was stationed.  He was in an S3 squadron called The Maulers.

You can ask me anything you'd like about that World's Fair.  I don't remember anything.  Oh, maybe I remember the China exhibit a bit.  I think they brought the terra cotta army.  But I could be wrong about this.  All I could think about was, "I'm married, and my husband is going out to sea for nine months when we get to Jacksonville."  I didn't really know anyone in Jacksonville.  I'd met a few of the wives in the squadron, but not many.  And, they had kids.  I didn't.

We made it to Jacksonville a week after our wedding day.  The next day, he left.  The end of my honeymoon was the beginning of my life as a navy wife.  This was the beginning of my life being married and on my own.  And, I was good at it.

So, a week after we kissed and said "I do," we kissed and said "good bye."  I adjusted very well to navy life.  I loved the freedom of being married, but on my own.  And, for the next 16 years of marriage I was on my own, off and on.  Sometimes it was harder to have him home than it was to have him gone.

Now, I don't like him gone.  I miss him.  So, that is how this week began.  And, I had a crummy migraine to match my crummy mood.  And, the migraine lasted for three days.  I had to take Monday off work because of it.  I didn't want to do this, but I didn't have a choice.  Ouch.  I'm going to blame this headache on Tamoxifen, just because I hate Tamoxifen and blame all evil in the world on Tamoxifen, but... it may have been the heat.  Who knows?

Anyway, the week didn't start out well.  Then I wrote the post about money.  I'm thinking, I shouldn't have done that.  This post fell flat.  Seriously.  I lost 20 fb friends.  Seriously.  I don't know why I let things like fb and whether or not my posts resonate with people effect how I feel about myself, but sometimes I do.  Btw, I'm going to blame this on Tamoxifen, too.  Anyway, I was kind of proud of the money post.  Yet, hardly anyone else seemed to "like" it.  Maybe I'm out of style.  Maybe I'm behind the times.  Maybe I'm just DOING IT wrong, when it comes to money.  Any of the ways you look at it...  I started feeling down.

So, I gave myself a little pity party yesterday and tried to get over it.  I'm almost over it.

This weekend I will freeze tomatoes for winter use.  I will freeze peaches for winter sunshine.  I will make pickles.  And, I'm going to load up my eBay page with items to sell.  I'm going to get back to myself and do what makes me feel good about myself.  Maybe I'll take a few pics and share them with you.  Maybe.

The Sunsphere

12 comments:

  1. Sorry you are having a sucky week!  You mean 20 people unfriended you on facebook?  Whaaat? 

    I hope you have a wonderful weekend - working with food like that can be wonderfully relaxing, especially if you have music on, etc. 

    (((HUG)))

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  2. Thanks.  Yeah, 20.  It seemed like a lot to me, too.  But really, are they my friends?  :)

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  3. Becky @ Farmgirl PaintsJuly 29, 2011 at 4:07 PM

    well i hope you are feeling a little better today happygirl;)  i understand about letting things get to you.  i had someone leave a mean comment on my blog the other day and it really made me sad.  i think sometimes satan uses people to steal our joy.  i'm not going to let him!  are you??

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  4.  No I'm not!!!  I'm turning my frown upside down.  And I mean this in the most non-cheesy way.  Thanks for stopping by and being an encourager.  :)

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  5. Hey, Happy, I think we moved to TN (an hour from Knoxville), like, one year after the World's Fair. Because I remember thinking: how tragic that we barely missed such a big affair. I'm sorry for your bad week. I guess I have some major catching up to do with your blogging, m'darlin'. Sorry about that. As you know (b/c you commented on my 8 days of fun), I've been runnin' around like a chicken w/ my head cut off. Can you believe that Becky Farmgirl Paints only lives, like, thirty minutes from me, now? I want to get together w/ her, soon. You should get up in your car and head this way. We'll have a VA bloggy party.

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  6. You know, I think I would do this.  :)

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  7. if you lose 20 FB friends over a post you are saying the right things...smiles. i know what you mean about being apart though...hope the weekend is better...

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  8. I liked the $$$ post. Perhaps because I identified so with it. In fact...am delighted to say I picked up a nickle in the parking lot this evening. Then another one later.!! Feeling like I hit the jackpot. And yes I do pickup pennies.... they do add up. Sorry bout the headache...and hoping this weekend brings you joy.

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  9. Interesting! Do you have any idea what is it that they didn't like about the money post? I would like to understand. If you know, please share. What is it that they didn't like?
    It's interesting that you mention FB this way. Like affecting you so much emotionally. I just closed my FB account. I didn't have many friends (100 and something?) and even the ones I had, they were not really my friends. I never felt completely comfortable with FB. I guess if they were not called "friends" that would had made me feel better. Friends means something different to me. I'm in contact with my friends in different ways. I was a member of FB for maybe 2 years? I think it's silly to be posting conversations that other people who have nothing to do with the topic can read. OK, I'm going against society right now since FB is so big and so popular. The conclusion is that I'm not FB material. I'm getting together with several friends this week. We are going to the pool, we are going out to eat, we chat on the phone. Those are the interactions that I really enjoy.
    Ok, but going back to your post I think that it's so sweet that you miss your husband! So romantic! You are probably going to have such a great time when he gets back. You are going to hold hands and kiss and laugh together. Soooo romantic!

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  10.  Mariza, Thanks so much for commenting on my post.  I use fb to promote my blog, so losing the "friends" was surprising for me.  I belong to a group to help blogger promote their blogs.  I'm getting past the bad feelings from losing the "friends."  I've gained perspective.  Comments like yours are very encouraging.  Thanks.  :)

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  11. My husband was in the Army and he deployed for a year.  It s-u-c-k-e-d.  But, you are so wise to focus on the things that make you...YOU.  What a great way to pass the time!

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  12. A year is a long time.  Give your husband an extra hug tonight as a thank you from me for his service.  Thanks for reading.  :)

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