Thursday, January 3, 2013

Why saying "no" isn't a bad thing

NO is a word that is fast becoming obsolete in this nation.

Parents don't want to say "no" to their children.  They want to be the parents that say "yes" to every request.  They don't want to deny their children anything.

Workers won't say "no" to their bosses.  They want to say "yes" to the extra projects and late nights at the office.  They want to do whatever they think will keep them in the job.  Denying their personal life for what they think is job security.

Doctors won't say "no" to patients who want to use the most advertised medications on tv.  They won't turn down a nose-job or a boob-job, even if they patient is a minor.

Girls won't say "no" to boys when asked for sex or "sexting" or whatever they desire from them at the time.  They want to be loved and accepted and they believe that saying "yes" to the boy will get them what they want.

The list of those that won't say "no" goes on and on.  (I'm talking to you, John Boehner)

What can saying "no" do for you?

Saying "no" can save you money. 
There is nothing wrong about saying you don't want to spend the money.  Parents need to know that saying "no" to many kid requests will save them money and teach the kids to postpone pleasure.  Teaching austerity isn't a bad thing.  What kind of adult will they be if they've never learned to accept the word "no?"  I'm going to guess they will be an adult with a large credit card balance.  (yeah, we've got a lot of them right now)

Saying "no" can lead to better opportunities.
Just think if that employee says "no" to his boss's request to absorb the work of a vacated position.  Just think if that employee puts the time spent with his family above the needs of the boss.  Just think if that employee looked for another job and could possibly give him the respect for a personal life that his current job isn't providing.  Hanging on to something good could be denying you something better.

Hearing the word "no" could be good for you.
A child that hears the word "no" can learn to put off immediate gratification for delayed gratification.  Delayed gratification teaches will power, self-control, patience. and impulse control.  These are all attributes of character that are highly desirable in adults.  A boy that hears the word "no" from a girl when asked to perform for him, sexually now has the opportunity to learn to respect women.  These boys can grow up to have higher regard for the needs of their wives and daughters.  They can become men with self-control and integrity.

Saying "no" can give you the time, money, self-respect, and so much more.  I think saying "no" needs to be regarded with the empowerment and positivity it can give.

20.  Peppermint scented body lotion and hand soap
21.  Home made turkey and gnocchi soup
22.  Losing some of the holiday weight (because I'm saying "no" to sweets)
23.  Kind comments from blog readers
24.  Brach's butterscotch hard candies (make me remember my grandpa)
25.  Noticing the days getting longer
26.  Hand sanitizer (everyone around this place is coughing or sneezing)
27.  An IT department that is super helpful during this Google transition
28.  Going to the farm to get fresh vegetables, even in the winter
29.  Having a new flat iron (a Christmas gift from my son)  It is the best thing ever


  1. as cliche as it sounds, a no is a yes somewhere else...far too many yes men & women in this world...esp parents...who dont know how to set limits with their sets up a false reality...they have to learn very hard later...

  2. Hey brian, I'm a little nervous when we find common ground.  :)

  3. Workers won't say "no" to their bosses..   the latest curse in the IT sector..... grab more projects......with the hope of grabbing more money..... and ruin the health in the process. 

  4. Saying no can be very freeing.  I did that this week and felt a weight lift off me.

  5. yes! haha, what an ironic response to this brilliant post, eh? but you've got it so right. well said, my friend.

  6. I agree.  People respect you when you have real boundaries.

  7. Saying no is something that I have had to learn.  I now do those things that I like to do.  I am not going to try to multitask myself to death. 


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