Wednesday, January 9, 2013

I've discovered I'm not all that happy on my own

There has been a lot of work going on at the house that used to be our rental property and has now been purchased by our son.  I still haven't got all the pics ready to show, so this post won't be about the work.  This post is about me.  (seriously, isn't blogging the most self-indulgent thing EVER!)

I've been lonely.  My husband has been working for a solid seven weeks.  He works six days a week and he works 12 hour days.  On Sunday he stays home, but he lays on the couch and watches football through his eyelids.  He's exhausted.  I let him lay there and I try not to talk to him too much.

I completely understand his dedication to getting this work done.  Heck, the reward is having our 25 year old son move out of our house.  I mean, if that isn't incentive, what is?  AND..., there was also that thing about electing Obama for a second term and allowing him to raise taxes, as needed.  We wanted to pay our capital gains tax with a known number and not whatever our president decides he needs from us.

So, I've been quiet.  I haven't mentioned to my husband that I've missed spending time with him, but I have.  I was home by myself during my entire break.  I got some serious alone time in.  I'm an introvert, and I get recharged by alone time, but after a week and a half there was still no one to spend my renewed energy on.  I didn't really get any serious work done while I was off.  In the past I've cleaned closets and stuff like that, but this year... nothing.  I would have liked to spend a day going into the city with him and seeing a show or going to a nice restaurant, but I kept quiet.  I had dinner ready, most of the time, when he got home from working at the house.  He usually wasn't very hungry because he had a late lunch.  He would take his helpers out to lunch every day.  You see, he hired a woman to clean the house and promised her an hourly rate.  As a bonus, he got the woman's husband (who is retired, like my husband and very handy in the home repair department, like my husband is) as a toss in.  Bonus!  They've become very good friends through this whole project.  I'm glad.

The drawback to all this is just one thing.  While my husband spent a LARGE part of his day away from me and working, he was also using up all the words he usually speaks in a day.  When he got home, he was pretty much done for the day.  So it was quiet at my house.  Don't get me wrong, I don't need to talk a lot, but I do need to talk more than I was getting to talk.  There is just something about a conversation, even if it is about nothing very important, that feels good.  Talking with my husband connects me to him.  I was missing that connection.  Now that the project is drawing to an end, he's getting read to go on a skiing vacation.  I think I'm really going to miss him while he's gone.  But, it's only for a week.

I need to develop more relationships in my life.  I have friends, but all my friends still work.  When they get home at the end of the day, they are tired.  Just like I'm tired.

I think we are going to need a weekend together to reconnect.  We need to spend some time not talking about our son or the house or my job.  We need to spend some time dreaming about our future together and just enjoying each other's company.  Yeah, we need to do something like that.  

In a way, this has been quite a good learning experience for me.  I learned that I'm not all that happy when left on my own.  Even an introvert needs to spend some time with people.

60.  Leftovers (I don't have to cook after a tough day at the office)
61.  Leftover cookies from a stolen from a VP's meeting
62.  Cold coffee
63.  My bed (I hear it calling my name right now)
64.  The friends I have
65.  My brothers (I even like talking to them)
66.  Free car washes with a fill-up
67.  Post-its (I don't think I could function at work without them)
68.  5:00 p.m. 
69.  Only two stop lights on my entire drive home from work

7 comments:

  1. smiles...always return to dreaming together about the future....that keeps it fresh for sure...a weekend together sounds like a great idea especially after all that time apart...

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  2. I hope you do get some time away with your hubs.  Sounds like both of you work really hard and deserve some rest and relaxation and reconnecting.   Right now, with our missionary kids home and staying with us, I am having the opposite problem, not enough introvert, quiet time. :)

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  3. SouthernGalThoughtsJanuary 9, 2013 at 10:16 PM

    It sounds like a getaway is in order.  I think we're going to skip out this weekend just because it's time.  

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  4. we take a weekend trip in March...right about the time I feel like what you wrote...do it...worth the $!!

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  5. Maybe as you say - more friendship time is needed, too.  A getaway with your husband sounds perfect.  

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  6. so true - I don't recommend this movie but this is the conclusion to In to the Wild - the character goes it alone, but finds that he is not happy alone.  My wife is away for 4 days next week...already unhappy.

    Thanks for your encouragement along the path to happiness.

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  7. Kaitlin @ Homemaker DesignJanuary 11, 2013 at 7:18 PM

    Aw, I can relate - I recharge with 'alone time' but LOVE to spend time with my hubby!  I really hope you two DO get away together - it sounds important!!!  Friends are good and necessary - but you hubby is your other half so it's different and we need them - (and they need us too!)Oh and I had to laugh when I read that bit about blogging being the most self induglent thing ever...ummmm I think you just might be right! ha! ;)

    You LIKE cold coffee??? Yuck! I can't stand it - and often I 'drink' 2 or 3 cups of coffee in a morning but in all reality it's only like 1 and half because I pour it out as soon as it's too cool! :P

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