Friday, February 3, 2012

Confrontation

Today was a super busy day at work.  I had to focus my energies on the job that pays the bills.  (haha, I don't get paid very much, but since I don't get paid to blog At All, this is truth.)  Today was one of those days.  I have to admit, some of the things I had to do today were far from my favorites.  I had to let someone go from their job today.  This is tough.  There was a two month severance package, but that doesn't make the blow that much easier.  I did it, but it wasn't fun. 

When I was with the church ladies in the bible study, one of them said I was a confrontational person.  I disagree.  I don't think I would consider myself confrontational.  I'm not a person who seeks out confrontation, but I'm not a person who backs away from it, either.  I guess, if you're a person who avoids confrontation completely, you may consider me a confrontational person.  I say, you are wrong.

I work for a very non-confrontational person.  My boss avoids confrontation as much as he possibly can.  I think it makes him look weak and it makes it difficult to do the job.  He will never tell anyone "no," except, however, for those reporting directly to him.  This makes our job so much more difficult.  We have to be all things to all people.  This is very hard to do. 
 
Some people go to great lengths to avoid confrontation.  This saddens and amuses me.  The ones that amuse me are those who crawl into their beds and hide under the covers.  I wonder how they manage?  Do they think if they hide, all the things they don't like will go away?  Maybe.  Or maybe they think they are so powerful they will annihilate the person they have to confront.  If this is true, they have more serious issues.  Anger management classes may be something they should look into. 

When a situation develops that involves confrontation or a direct conversation about something that may be considered negative or unpleasant by the recipient, I try to be as kind about it as possible.  I can say the difficult thing, like "you're fired" and sandwich it between any positives I can think of saying.  I can say "no" or "this product is not acceptable" or "I won't be able to do what you are asking of me" without being unpleasant.  People who, I guess for a better word, are People Pleasers, can't do this.  I guess instead of telling me I'm confrontational, I should be labeled NOT a people pleaser. 

I'll tell you the truth, to the best of my ability.  I wish there were more truth tellers out there in the world.  I think we'd all be a lot better off.  If I ever discover a lot more truth telling going on out in the world, I'm going to buy stock in Kimberly Clark (I think they make Kleenex).  There's going to be a lot of crybabies out there.  I just want to be ready.
 

11 comments:

  1. haha...there is just something about arguing that you are not a confrontational person that tickles me...lol....i think there are def some tough convos that have to be had but that def does not make you confrontational...

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  2. You tell em Happy Girl. Just do it with a smile. btw...you don't sound a bit confrontational
    to me

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  3. People tell me that I have a look. Like my eyes say so much when I'm upset. I think I know what they mean. I do have a video that shows one time when I got upset. I see my eyes, but they don't look as bad as they say.

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  4. hello happy girl,, do you like music?

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  5. I have a lot of non-confrontational people in my life and it is sad because you can't really express with them how you feel because they are always cowering in the corner.  If we don't get out our confrontations it only hurts us in the long run.  Stuffing it is the worst possible thing we can do.  I always say there's 4 kind of confronters.  Aggressive (says whatever, however, no matter who it hurts), Passive (says nothing, stuffs it, and has a lot of pain because of that), Assertive (says what they have to say to rectify a situation without hurtful words and without being passive), Passive-Aggressive (won't say it to a person's face but will passively-aggressively do things and say things to punish the person who they can't confront).  I try to be as assertive as I can.  :)

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  6. You definitely would've had more fun at the zoo.

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  7. In an interview for a job I JUST GOT (WooHoo!!!) - they asked about how I handle confrontation. I HATE direct confrontation - but I learned early if I didn't take truth stands, I wouldn't build the life I wanted. When I taught college comp for years, I learned to handle direct confrontation - got a bit immunized to it - but, though I would rather hide under the bed - nobody grows unless issues are honestly, constructively handled. People are uncomfortable with people like us - and that is just a fact of life. We can either sell out or live the life we were created to live!!!! Without direct confrontation, nobody would ever experience the love of Jesus:)

    Wishing you a much more encouraging week!!!!

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  8. Congratulations on the NEW JOB!!

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  9. It is tough to have to let someone go, even with cause.  It sounds as you did well and the severance package is nice.

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  10. First, you don't strike me as confrontational at all.  Second, I wish that I handled confrontation better.  I have way too much of that people pleasing going on.

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  11. I don't like confrontation.  I'm not into people pleasing but am able to walk away from most things that get heavy.   

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