Thursday, February 9, 2012

Can you play Monopoly without tears?

Not at my childhood home.  No way could a game of Monopoly go to completion without tears.  Sometimes the tears were mine.  Sometimes the tears were my brothers'.  Sometimes the gaming board was tossed and the money scattered.  Competition.  I grew up in a competitive family. 

I'm a competitive person.  I like to win.  Of course, I'm not a sore loser anymore.  I'm a grown-up now.  But, I know the feeling of Wanting To Win.  What's the point of playing the game if you don't want to win?  I know it's "just a game," but everyone wants to win.  Don't they?

I think they do.  I know some people say they don't care if they win or not.  (btw, we aren't just talking about Monopoly now)  I don't believe them.  I think it's an excuse for losing.  Or an excuse for not trying their best.  I think these same people often quit trying.  They may not scatter the money to the floor, but they walk away.  They won't play anymore.  They stop trying.  They quit.  And you know how the old saying goes, "quitters never win."

I'm reading a book recommended to me by a reader (hi Lynn).  The book is Born To Win by Muriel James.  It is full of exercises to guide you in focusing on the roles we unconsciously play out in our day to day lives.  It is teaching me about the way I relate to people without thinking and then helps me focus on my thoughts and behaviors when dealing with other people.  It is teaching me to think like a winner.  I haven't finished reading the book yet.  I will keep you posted.

My husband thinks like a winner.  Here is an example of his winning thinking.  If you've read my blog, you know we like to go to Atlantic City every now and then.  There are some very bright lights in AC that are paid for with money from losers.  Yep, LOSER'S $$.  People go to places like AC every day of the year with the attitude of losing.  They say to themselves, "I'll bring $100 (or any amount) to gamble with, and when it's gone, I'm done."  This is the attitude of a loser.  They are planning to lose.  They don't even consider winning.  They are setting themselves up to fulfill the prophesy they predict for themselves as they put the money they plan to lose in their wallets. 

Winners don't think like this.  They plan to win.  Of course, it's still gambling, so there is no guarantee of winning, but they plan to win anyway.  Winners plan to gamble with a certain amount of money, as well.  Here is where the similarity stops.  Instead of gambling mindlessly, a winner will watch the fluctuation of the "luck of the draw."  They will bet more when the luck is on their side of the table and bet less when the luck has moved away.  They are playing to win.  They have an attitude of a winner.

Losers always think the winners are beating them.  Losers don't get the fact that they are defeating themselves.  No one is a born loser any more than anybody is born to win.  Losers blame and winners take responsibility.  There will always be competition in the world, but the most important place we need to play to win is in the way we live our lives.  Think like a winner.  After all, every loves a winner.

Btw, if you think this post is about you, it is.  Stop being such a loser.  :) 


  1. It's fun to read your thoughts on this HG.
    Honestly....I don't feel the need to win all the time. I'm not competitive like that. I can play just for the fun of be part of whatever is happening...and I"m content not to win.  I am very comfortable with that. But I also don't think of myself as a loser. Just different than those with an intense competitive streak in them.  Sometimes when I've played a game, i.e. a card or board game with a very competitive person animosity takes over and the fun stops. For quite awhile we didn't want to play games with my brown-eyed-handsome-man because his competitive nature took the fun out of it. He's mellowed now and is much more fun.
    Now don't be confused. I do enjoy a win when it happens. But I guess for me it's about the journey, being with people I care about.
    I'm so glad God made us all keeps life interesting.

  2. lol you're awesome friend. i love monopoly. 

  3. These last few blogs you've written are very fascinating. It tells a lot about your personality (I've been on a "personality-types" kick the last few weeks). I think I have a streak of the same personality traits in me, but also have realised that peaceful relations are more important to me. Maybe it's because I'm a sociologist and always assessing the emotional ambiance in a room. Or maybe it's because I've seen too much fall-out from war in my short career. Not sure. But for whatever reason, I've made a conscious decision to prefer losing over competing, to prefer not telling the truth to grating tender feelings. I don't think one is right or wrong... I think God created diversity for a reason. But it helps me to think that way... to remember that we need competitive winners like you in the world, and that I'll probably be intimidated by you, but that you can also get stuff done that I can't, and that hopefully I can help you out somehow or another because we're different.

  4. This is interesting.  I don't consider myself truly competitive.  But, I'm a perfectionist.  So, I end up being competitive by extension.

  5. Rumor is a certain brother doesn't think/remember throwing the Monopoly board....he thinks it was someonen else :)


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