Saturday, February 11, 2012

These pants make my butt look good

Let me tell you why I blog.  I have learned so much about myself this week.  I know, 20 years ago, Oprah told everyone to journal.  I know she said it changed her life.  I'm sure it did.  But, I'll bet it doesn't hold a candle to how blogging her journal would have changed her life.  This week I opened up my coat to the blogosphere and, metaphorically, checked out my butt in the mirror to decided if my "big girl" pants made my butt look bad.

This week I examined myself and some of my motivations in life.  The most challenging thing I revealed was my negative self-talk.  I have to tell you, I appreciated the commiseration from my readers.  Sometimes it's good to know you aren't the only one doing something a little nutty, in private.  It also made me want to start a support group for us.  We can get together once or twice a week and remind each other how GREAT we are.  We can tell each other our successes for the week and compliment each other.  There are plenty of naysayers out there in the world and they are more than happy to knock us down a peg or two.  I think a support group would be so much FUN.  We could tell each other how great our butts look in our pants.  :)

This week I examined my competitive attitude.  I'm going to tell you, I thought everyone likes to win.  It was a little surprising to me that this may not be accurate.  This was eye opening.  I don't believe in winning at any cost.  I would never advocate cheating to win.  I was just commenting on my attitude of having the desire to win when I am in any competitive situation.  For example, I ran for a position on the board of directors of the HOA in my neighborhood this month.  I'd held a position on this board for the last four years.  During the last year of my term I had had a couple issues come up and I had to make some decisions that were going to please one neighbor and not please the other.  Sure, I had covenants and by-laws on my side, but there you have it.  I made a few neighbors unhappy.  Unhappy people don't keep their opinions to themselves.  I had a feeling I wasn't going to be re-elected, but I ran anyway.  I still had a few things I wanted to accomplish on the board.  In the end, I lost re-election by one vote.  Of course I was disappointed.  I wanted to win.  I'm not disappointed I don't have to serve on the board.  It's a lot of work and there is no way to make everyone happy.  My friend ran for a position on the board, too.  She didn't win either.  She said she didn't even think about the election.  She had put her name in the hat just because she was asked.  She didn't care whether or not she won.  I certainly won't be a sore loser in this situation, but I'm not going to say it didn't sting to lose.

This week I confessed I can be confrontational.  I never said I sought out confrontation.  I said, when I find myself in a situation that develops into one that requires a decision, I do not back away from making the tough decision.  I am willing to put in the work to investigate what is needed.  I'm willing to listen to both sides of an argument.  I'm willing to be the decider and have some people be unhappy with my decision.  One thing I learned from blogging about this was that this is a gift.  I may not make every decision correctly.  Some of the decisions I make may be overturned, at a later time.  But, when a decision needs to be made, I can make it.  Even if I am going to make some people unhappy.  I know you can't make all the people happy all the time, and I'm willing to do the hard work.  This is one character trait that absolutely makes my butt look good in these pants.

While digging through my feelings and thoughts about these character traits I discovered a couple things that had made me question myself.  One thing was the tendency women have to back bite and criticize in order to make themselves feel better about themselves.  It is very unfortunate this is a relatively common trait in women.  It doesn't seem to be so common for men.  A second thing I discovered was the complete acceptance of crying in the 30 something generation.  When things don't go the way they want, crying is an accepted response.  It doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman, it's ok to cry when things are not going your way.  Crying is a very powerful tool.  When someone cries as a response to not getting their way, emotion can sway a decision.  When I saw the SNL sketch parodying this response, I was assured this was a trend in this generation.

I thank my readers for sharing this tedious examination of my character this week.  I get it was pretty darn self-indulgent, but, seriously, blogging is a pretty self-indulgent activity.  I don't use my blog to try to teach anyone anything.  I'm just working through the struggles in my life and seeking to be happy, living my life authentically, and being the blessing I believe God created me to be.

by jalfaro2

I selected this post to be featured on my blog’s page at Blogs for Women.


  1. smiles...glad to be on the journey with you while you figure it out...we are all a work in process...dont know we ever arrive this side of tomorrow...

  2. What Brian said!  We're all just trying to figure it out.

  3. I'll admit - I'm competitive. I love the action of competing. I love TROUNCING my sons at chess. I LOVED playing soccer with them till one of the boys, already bigger than me beamed me in the face. I LOVE believing I can win - but like you don't want to cheat to do it. I hate confrontation - but I'll push through to make the right decision no matter how hot the water gets. I agree blogging is so much more than journaling. I guess us 40th somethings just go in the closet and cry privately. I think you sound like someone I enjoy sharing this journey with - no matter what our butts look like!

  4. your pics are just funny. and you friend, are amazing and always a good read. yes, we are learning along with you, too. 

  5. it's a sad day when we stop working on ourselves friend.  :)  

  6. Blogging is great for sorting things out.  Love that post title.  :)

  7. I have to admit, there does seem to be a sort of therapy to blogging, and you do it very well. Continue to be happy, my dear. Everyone deserves a little sunshine in their life.

  8. I really love your blog and your honesty, and blogging/journaling is so freeing. Sometimes writing it all down is like letting it go, in a way, and it always helps me feel a little lighter if I've got a heavy heart about something.


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