More about Tamoxifen

I just put a request for a refill of my Tamoxifen prescription into the pharmacy.  Doing this reminded me I haven't posted about my Tamoxifen journey in a while.  I guess I haven't posted because not much has changed.  I'm into my second year of the five-year Tamoxifen adventure.  I've become bored with the scenery.  I still have the regular hot flashes.  I'm sort of getting used to them.  I don't like them, but they are expected and they do not disappoint.  I wish hot flashes burned calories, but I don't think they do.  I feel like I've put a bit of weight on, of late.  Bummer.  I need to turn this around immediately or my "big girl" pants won't keep looking so good on me.  :)

So, hot flashes and night sweats continue.  My annual breast exam and mammogram were uneventful, and that's just the way I like them.  Normal.  Normal.  Normal.

I'm sleeping a  lot better.  This is good news.  I think I'm sleeping well because this winter hasn't been too cold.  It doesn't feel like ice is forming on my sheets if the air happens to hit them.  I've learned I have to use a LOT of body lotion, since I'm becoming a raisin, now.  If any younger women happen to be reading this post, this is scary stuff.  I'm gonna tell you.  It is horrific to find the wrinkles on your face.  When I brush my teeth in the morning and see my mom in the mirror, it scares me EVERY time.  I have to admit, I've kinda been expecting the lines on my face.  If I have to sell a few shares of AAPL to get something done about them, I will.  I'm not too proud and I am a bit vain.  The wrinkles that really scare me are the ones I find on my forearms and calves.  WHAT THE HECK?  I didn't expect to see those.  Scary, crepe-paper skinned forearms and calves make me cringe.  I look down at my arms and I see my grandma's arms.  It freaks me out.

This aging thing is not for sissies.

I'm not feeling depressed.  This is good.  I remember this was something my doctor worried about for me.  I went to a therapist for about six months and felt this wasn't something that was a benefit to me.  Sure, I have my moments of being anxious about my husband's retirement and our future.  And, yes, I have my moments of being anxious about my son's future and ability to support himself.  I think these are normal fears.  They do not keep me living my life to the fullest.  I have the occasional nightmare about them, but that's the worst of it.  I no longer take benadryl  to help me sleep.  I was told it was contraindicated for people on Tamoxifen.  I do still have a couple cocktails every night.  I've found if I only have one or two I sleep much better than if I've had three or four.  Another good reason to be moderate in my drinking.  Also, the less I eat in the evening, the better I sleep.  Another good reason not to overeat.  Everything is good in moderation.

I'm sure exercise would be very helpful.  I plan to start going to the gym at work beginning on Ash Wednesday.  No 40 days of yoga for me this year, but I'll get back on the treadmill.  (I just took a peek back to my post a year ago.  I'm still wearing the pants I bought then.  I don't need a new size, but I think an updated pair is in order.)

I'm wondering how I will react to having my husband home when I get home from work?  I'm wondering how I'll react to less money?  I'm wondering how I'll react when I'm getting ready for work and my husband is still in bed?  I'm wondering so many things about this new phase of my life.  I am entering this new phase with my old frenemy, Tamoxifen.

Let the adventure continue.  :)

Cell with estrogen receptors blocked by tamoxifen and helper proteins.

A - estrogen receptor

B - tamoxifen

C - estrogen helper proteins

D - tamoxifen helper proteins

E - cell nucleus

F - DNA (genetic material) inside cell nucleus