Stuff love

I've recently been surrounded by complaints, laments, praises, frustrations and the like regarding aging and ailing parents.  I'm a baby boomer and I've shared about the loss of my mother-in-law last month.  My parents are both alive and well, but aging and all that comes with aging.  And, a co-worker is sitting vigil for her mother this week.  There is no getting around it, this is tough stuff.  Our parents are children of the depression era.  I don't know if this is true for any of my readers out there, but I find these folks like their stuff.  I mean a lot of stuff.  And, they like their stuff.  And, they DON'T like you messing around with their stuff.  So, let me tell you a couple stories.

I'll begin with my parents and let me tell you, I love them.  I LOVE my parents, but I HATE their stuff.  Recently I posted about the strangely inflated price of silver.  Well, since I grew up with my parents I knew my dad had collected coins.  Lots of coins.  I usually don't talk to my dad about his stuff, because it's HIS stuff and he likes his stuff and he knows I DON'T.  Anyway, I called him and said, "Hey dad, silver is selling for an unusually high price these days and DH and I are selling some of our silver on eBay and getting some really good money for it.  Do you still have the coins you collected when we were kids?"  No answer.  He didn't want to talk about it.  He told me he didn't know and really wasn't interested in checking.  Hmmm.?.  To make a long story short (and I really have to do this because this is kind of a long story and I really am not a strong writer.  I like using fewer words than more, etc. etc.)  After three days of calling him in the morning and evening of each day and bringing the conversation back around to his coins EVERY SINGLE TIME, oh yeah, and I even had my DH speak to him at least once, but I think it may have been twice.  *sigh*

I really am like a dog beautiful princess with a bone.

He consented to look in his safe.  Finally.  Now, this was no easy task.  Evidently he had not opened this safe in over 20 years.  So, there was a lot of crap stuff piled in front of the safe.  I am grateful for his willingness, albeit nagged out of him by yours truly, to go through some of his stuff while he is still alive and able to do it.  He has agreed to let us sell the collection.  I am so happy.  I'm hoping he can make enough money to afford to have new carpet put in the first floor of their house.  I know my mom would really LOVE that.  We will see and fingers crossed.

Now, you have to TRUST me.  This is the Readers Digest condensed version.  Seriously, this was a TOUGH process.

Now, let me tell you about my mother-in-law.  This was a woman who knew how to let go of stuff.  She was organized and prepared and showed so much love for her children by paring down her stuff.  My mother-in-law, sweetly and lovingly was preparing for her death.  When her children went to her apartment they found a to-do list on her dresser with what needed to be done after she passed.  There were a few items crossed off.  I think she may have lived a little longer than she expected and was able to start working on the list.  I think this is precious.  Now, I have to give some credit for her culling process to Mother Nature.  She had recently gone through hurricane Wilma.  It made her previous apartment unlivable and she had to move.  I believe some major separation of mother-in-law and stuff happened at that time.

To make a long (and still very sad) story short, my DH and his sisters were able to empty their mom's apartment in two days.  Two Days.  This was such a blessing.  It is a very hard thing to go through a loved one's possessions and not become emotional over and over again.  It is very hard to toss, donate, sell possessions that seem to have been dear to your loved one.  I think the less there is to do, in this regard, the better.  The truth is, in fact, one man's treasure is another man's trash (yes, I know you usually hear it visa versa, but in this instance the reverse is truer).

As to my co-worker, she is overwhelmed with the thought of dealing with the stuff.  And, it is scaring her to death.  I know I don't want to do this to my child.  I never want my stuff to get in the way of my relationships.  But, this is just me.