Friday, June 8, 2012

Potential problem areas

I'm tough on myself.  I know my son doesn't believe it, but I'm way tougher on myself than I am on anyone else.  And to be perfectly clear, I've been told I'm pretty tough on other people.  For example, yesterday I arranged a farewell luncheon for my retiring co-worker.  She wanted to go to Olive Garden.  In our little burg, the Olive Garden is PACKED at lunchtime.  I called and made reservations for 11 people for a noon seating.  My reservation was accepted.  When I arrived at the Olive Garden for my noon reservation I discovered my name was not on the list.  I mentioned earlier that the Olive Garden is typically packed at lunchtime.  Today it was extremely packed, as there had been an eighth grade graduation at the local middle school.  I was very concerned.  Not only was this a party for a well-liked co-worker, but the vice president of the college had decided to join us.  The woman with the headset on her head asked me if I knew the name of the person that took my reservation.  I did not.  Instead, I asked her if the person answering the phone takes the name and information from the caller when they are requesting a reservation?  Evidently, this is not a requirement, as my name and reservation are not written on your paper.  I asked her if the procedure for taking reservations requires the caller REQUESTING the reservation to get the name of the person TAKING the reservation, then the person TAKING the reservation should be required to give their name when answering the phone.  (I was very polite when having this conversation, but I was serious)  I asked the woman with the headset on her head how long it would be before my party would be able to be seated.  I was told the restaurant was very busy and there were reservations ahead of me.  I commiserated regarding the busyness of the restaurant, but not about reservations ahead of me, as I had called and made a reservation for noon and it was, in fact, noon, and then I asked to speak to the manager.

The manager had, evidently, been briefed, but took a moment to speak with me.  I was honest with her.  I told her that I understood the restaurant was busy, which is why I made a reservation.  I needed to have my party seated.  I told her I did not want to be embarrassed in front of my boss and in front of the vice president of the college I work at.  She said she would help.  And, she did.  We were seated at 12:15 p.m.  That is not too bad considering the busyness and the lost reservation.  When my boss received the bill, he discovered a $30 deduction to compensate for having to wait.  I thanked the manager, personally, for all her help when I was leaving the restaurant.  (at the time I didn't even know about the $30)

When I got home from work yesterday a conveyed this story to my husband and his eyes widened.  Yet, he said, "good for you."  There is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself.

Last night, I was reading more information about my Meyers-Briggs type, ISTJ.  This time I was reading about personal growth and where my difficult areas for growth lie.  I learned a lot.  The site gave me a list of potential problem areas.
  • Excessive love of food and drink
  • Lack of interest in other people, or relating to them
  • Occasional inappropriate emotional displays
  • General selfish "look after oneself" tendencies
  • Using judgment to dismiss others opinions and perspectives, before really understanding them
  • May judge others rather than themselves
  • May look at external ideas and people with the primary purpose of finding fault
  • May become a slave of routine and "by the book" ways of doing things, to the point that any deviation is unacceptable
  • May have difficulty communicating their thoughts and feelings to anyone
I looked at some of the other MBTIs and discovered many of these bullet points are used over and over.  Nevertheless, this list is a fair description of my problem areas.  I absolutely have an excessive love of food and drink and I do lack interest in other people.  I have to force myself to listen after I ask people how they are doing.  I don't know about the inappropriate emotional displays.  I rarely cry.  I do often have a "serious" look on my face and I have to think about smiling and remind myself to do it more often.  The selfish "look after myself" tendency, well, I'd like to say I look after mine.  I look after my husband, my son, my boss, my co-workers, my friends.  I'm very loyal.  I do have a tendency to look at ideas and people with the purpose of finding fault.  Doesn't this sound horrible?  I have often wondered why I do this.  This is ABSOLUTELY a trait I find quite distasteful  about myself.  I try, try, try to see the positive in a situation or a person, but the first thing I ALWAYS see is the fault.  Of course, I'm an adult, so I've learned to keep my thoughts to myself.  When I was a child, this trait got me standing in the corner more times than I can remember.  (Mrs. Haan, you think your drawing looks like a cat?  This was 1st grade, I could go on and on.)  Regarding the difficulty in communicating my thoughts and feelings?  Well, here I am.  I'm writing a blog about how I feel about things and how I feel about myself.  I'd say I'm getting over this one.  In fact, I've received comments from readers on posts and have been so enlightened.  I am always happy to get a different perspective on an issue.  It's always surprising (because I think I'm pretty smart and I love to depend on what I know) and it's always welcome.

339.  New shoes purchased on my lunch hour
340.  Cold coffee on a warm afternoon
341.  Looking forward to going to a community theater production of Into the Woods
342.  Wrestling with some verses in the bible regarding The Shrewd Manager (I love digging into scripture)
343.  Looking forward to a restful weekend with beautiful weather
344.  A returning confidence in the power of prayer
345.  Praying with an eye open for the answer


  1. You are a great event coordinator! I also like to speak up because if not, I feel that no one listens. I want to do that test that you are talking about to see what comes out on mine.

  2. It sounds as if you handled the situation at the restaurant perfectly - I get so frazzled over things like that.  I'm glad it worked out.  And it's lovely that you have such great insight into yourself.

  3. it is not horrible...the whole point in understanding our strengths is knowing how to better utilize them ...and def way to go handling the situ at the restaurant...

  4. That is great not only that you were able to be assertive at Olive Garden but that they listened to you and helped you like that.  You and I are both ISTJ's as you know and we have the same set of weaknesses.  I dislike my weaknesses just like any AJTS, EXIL, and any other personality type would.  God assigned us all weaknesses so that we can allow Him to polish them.  Of our shared weaknesses the one I hate the most is lack of interest in other people.  I too get very bored and annoyed by small talk, boring people, and most people in general.  I hate this about myself.  It's almost like I need to be in the company of geniuses just to be satisfied even though I myself am not one!  ;)  


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