Fear Not or Fear the Lord?

I think all the church bloggers out there will agree, the bible is one confusing book.  Where should I start?  I know, let's start with the fear of the Lord.  Don't think, for a minute, this will be an exhaustive study on fearing God, but it will be a start.

I've mentioned I've been doing a study on angels these past few weeks.  It's interesting.  I don't think my salvation hinges on what I know about angels, but I am learning more about God by studying this part of his creation.  One thing I've noticed is the people in the bible that get to see angels are described as having a fear of the Lord.  I, for one, have never seen an angel.  I began to think about why I'd never seen an angel.  I listened to the members of my small bible study group discuss their angel experiences.  One of the guys had had, what seemed to me, to be an authentic angel encounter.  It was an amazing story.  I can't remember exactly where he said he was in the world, but it was in Southeast Asia, in the area of Cambodia or Laos.  He was a missionary serving in this part of the world.  Part of his job involved taking pictures.  At the time, he didn't consider himself an accomplished photographer, so he was willing to accept any advice tossed his way.  On this particular occasion, he met a stranger who said he was a photographer, too.  My friend from the small group bible study, Steve, said he spent all day with this fellow.  He said this guy was amazing.  He knew so much about photography and was excellent at teaching.  The images Steve produced that day were stunning.  He wanted to thank the guy for all his help, but when he went to invite him out to dinner, the guy was gone.  Simply nowhere to be found.  And, no one had seen anyone resembling his description in the area.  This makes you say, "hmmm," if nothing else.

Let me tell you a bit about Steve.  Steve is a God fearing man.  He believed God called him to mission in the jungles of Cambodia.  He left his job and went.  He was obedient.

What does it mean to be God fearing?  Does it mean to respect God?  I hope it means more than that.  I respect my boss, because he's my boss.  However, I lie to my boss.  I cheat my boss out of time.  I say crappy things about my boss behind his back.  I don't like going out to lunch with my boss and making small talk because he is bad at it and I don't like talking about work on my lunch hour.  (I am getting off-track)

I don't want to just respect God.  I want to love him.  I want to WANT to do what he wants me to do because I love him.  Not because I'm afraid of him.  I know the bible says I'm his child because I believe in his son Jesus.  But, I don't want to take advantage of God's love like my son takes advantage of my love.  I've been taught once you belong to God you always belong to God, but I'm not completely sure.  I want to be serious about my relationship with God.  I'm done fooling around and living on God's good graces.

I think in order to have an understanding of God and his nature, I need to spend some time studying about him and what he says about his people and this world I live in and the people I've chosen to involve myself, also known as relationships with human beings.  I think in order to have a loving and intimate relationship with God I need to spend time talking to him and being quiet enough to allow him to speak back to me, also known as prayer and meditation.  I think, between these two actions I can combine the fear not and fear the Lord ends of the relationship spectrum into a healthy relationship with God. 

I know this is not all I need to do to understand God, but I think it will help me become the God fearing woman I would like to be.  And, maybe I'll be able to see an angel. 

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom... Proverbs 9:10