Only perception.
This is truth. Right now I find myself struggling in the quicksand of perception. I've written here of my son. My problem, I believe, is my perception of my son's capabilities. The last diagnosis he received, before he became an adult, was executive function disorder. As far as I can understand, this is a severe type of ADD. When he became an adult, he decided to quit taking any medication. I'm not sure he was ever on a med that truly helped him, but nonetheless, he quit taking all meds. Currently, I'm struggling with a couple issues.
First, will my son ever be able to live independently? I struggle with whether or not this is a problem. If my son had been born with down's syndrome or any other debilitating condition, my husband and I would have prepared to have our son with us until we died. If this were the case, my husband and I would be THRILLED with the level he currently functions at. But, because my son has the capacity to drive, to work, to learn, has a high school diploma, but has no initiative or follow-through, does this mean we should require less of him. It's such a struggle for me. There are times when I think, "just kick him out and let the chips fall where they may." And there are times when I think, "I can't do that to him. I have to help him." I don't know the right thing to do. I've been trying to teach him to save money, to budget, to plan ahead. It seems these concepts are out of his reach.
Secondly, my son is an adult. He needs to make his own medical decisions. I'm trying to encourage him to see a psychiatrist and re-evaluate his condition. Maybe there are meds that would help him. Currently he is covered under my health insurance, but this will only last for six more months. I don't know what to do. I'm struggling. I'd love to be able to take it under my control and "fix" him, but I can't.
It's all perception. What is the reality of my son's situation? How hard should I push? How much should I let go? How much should I help? These are the questions robbing me of sleep at night. This is my unanswered prayer to God.
This is truth. Right now I find myself struggling in the quicksand of perception. I've written here of my son. My problem, I believe, is my perception of my son's capabilities. The last diagnosis he received, before he became an adult, was executive function disorder. As far as I can understand, this is a severe type of ADD. When he became an adult, he decided to quit taking any medication. I'm not sure he was ever on a med that truly helped him, but nonetheless, he quit taking all meds. Currently, I'm struggling with a couple issues.
First, will my son ever be able to live independently? I struggle with whether or not this is a problem. If my son had been born with down's syndrome or any other debilitating condition, my husband and I would have prepared to have our son with us until we died. If this were the case, my husband and I would be THRILLED with the level he currently functions at. But, because my son has the capacity to drive, to work, to learn, has a high school diploma, but has no initiative or follow-through, does this mean we should require less of him. It's such a struggle for me. There are times when I think, "just kick him out and let the chips fall where they may." And there are times when I think, "I can't do that to him. I have to help him." I don't know the right thing to do. I've been trying to teach him to save money, to budget, to plan ahead. It seems these concepts are out of his reach.
Secondly, my son is an adult. He needs to make his own medical decisions. I'm trying to encourage him to see a psychiatrist and re-evaluate his condition. Maybe there are meds that would help him. Currently he is covered under my health insurance, but this will only last for six more months. I don't know what to do. I'm struggling. I'd love to be able to take it under my control and "fix" him, but I can't.
It's all perception. What is the reality of my son's situation? How hard should I push? How much should I let go? How much should I help? These are the questions robbing me of sleep at night. This is my unanswered prayer to God.
Help me Dr. Phil
