Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Men, God's gift to me

Last night was the second time attending the new Bible study or small group, whichever is the best name for it.  As I mentioned before, it is mostly men.  Last night there were nine of us and seven were men.  We studied the first two chapters of Job.  Job is a man that took a licking and kept on ticking, for God.  He never lost his faith.  I need to read the book of Job more often.  I think it would do me a world of good.  I certainly believe my gratitude level would increase exponentially. 

Why do I think men are great study or small group companions?  I'll start with this.  I shared, maybe a bit too much, about struggles in my life.  I shared about my difficulties in church and a bit about the difficulties in the previous study group (there, that's the moniker I'm going to give it).  I shared about being told my ideas and thoughts about what church is supposed to be and what the Bible says to me were said to be "jaw dropping."  I believe church is to be a place to be restored and to practice our Christian brotherly love.  I want to go to church and practice speaking my testimony, OUT LOUD.  I want church to be a place where I can make a mistake.  I can be way off base about a passage in the Bible, or confess my sins and not be made to feel small and unworthy.  Even better, not to be talked about behind my back or "unfriended" or blocked on fb.  (btw, I didn't talk about the fb thing.  I'm not friending any church people anymore.  I learned my lesson.  People are one way at church and another way on fb.  just sayin')  I even used the trite phrase, "Only churches shoot their wounded."

I also shared about my drinking.  I've shared here before that I have some concerns about my drinking.  I don't believe I'm an alcoholic, but I think I had started drinking too much.  I'm working on this and I shared this.

Back to my point, why do I think men make GREAT study group companions?  After sharing, what I felt, were fairly personal and unflattering feelings and activities, I received a response so precious, it almost took my breath away.  They asked me what I needed from the group.  They said, "What do you need this group to be for you?"  *sigh*  No advice.  No chastisement.  No argument.  Just, "what do you need us to be for you."  My answer was this.  Please continue to be here.  Please continue to allow me to come here.  This is what I need. 

Now I'm not going to tell them this was the most precious thing I had ever heard spoken at a Bible study, 'cause they're men and men don't want to be told they are precious, but they are.  I'm not going to say a woman's group would have given me advice and told me what to do and given me examples of their own life experience and how things worked out for them, but they would have.  I'm going to tread softly in this group.  I'm not going to overwhelm them with my neediness, even though I have it.  It's kind of like being SUPER thirsty and drinking so much water so fast you throw it all up.  I don't want to throw up on these guys.  They deserve better than that from me.

Oh, and another thing I love is this.  They shared some deep hurts with the group.  Hurts like, losing a spouse to cancer or divorce or being out of work for a year and they don't cry about it.  They tell you it hurts and I believe it.  I don't need to see tears to believe something is painful.  I'm not a crying kind of girl.  I'm glad they were able to share these things while I was in the room.  I believe they trust me.  I will not betray that trust.  I know, I'm going to trust them. 

I mean, with God, isn't it all about trust and obedience? 


  1. I'm so glad you found this group. I'm sure it wasn't an accident.

  2. smiles. sounds like you have found a great place to be...now let me give you some advice...hehe...smiles.

  3. "I don't want to throw up on these guys. They deserve better than that from me." HAHAHAHA!   Love it!

  4. I can definitely agree with that.  If you get a group full of women together for a bible study inevitability jealousy, gossip, envy, over-emotions, and cliques will be there.  It's sad but women can be the most malicious of them all.  Men are matter-of-factually and let's get it done.  Women wanna figure out why... Why you are this and that...

  5. There are some really great observations here.  How many of us feel that we can only show our best selves at church?

  6. Men, like farmers and hunters, are awesome waiters - meaning they know how to wait for something to grow without forcing it. Women, well, we're bakers; we knead it, flavor it, time it, let it rise and punch it down again - and shape it, remake it , shape it! I understand the need to heal with a group that won't work you over.:)

    I'm learning, through raising my sons, I'm learning to quiet myself and give them space to grow, to recoup from mistakes - 'cause God does give time to recoup, to grow to Him - and I think we need to focus on the watering, the nuturing and the letting grow:) Hope your wounds heal, your strength grows and you bloom riotously!

  7. Maybe the punch and the kneading is what hurt me so much in the last group I was in. No wait, I wasn't the one doing all the crying. Oh well. Thanks for stopping by. You have a great blog. LOVE it.


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