Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Being nice, but...

Nice people do things that I don't usually do.

  • They smile to people when they meet them.  I have been trying to smile more.  However, smiling to people I don't know doesn't come naturally to me.  I'm an introvert, so I avoid interaction with people when I don't have to have it.  Once I know you, I'll smile when I see you, but I have to get to know you first.

  • Nice people ask other people how they are doing.  I usually don't do that unless I know you and I really care how you are doing.  I think the phrase is trite and most times I really don't want to know about someone's troubles or joys.  Of course, if I care about you, that's a different story.  Then I really do care how you are doing and I will listen.

  • Those nice people hand out compliments quite freely.  This is a wonderful trait to have.  It's tough for me to compliment people, unless I really mean it.  I may have difficulty with this trait because I didn't receive many compliments when I was growing up.  I was criticized much more than I was complimented.  For me, if I can keep from criticizing someone and say nothing at all, I'm improving my typical situation 100%.  Btw, I have a hard time accepting compliments, as well.  All in all, I think this is an exceptional trait to have.  I'm working on handing out more compliments.  People love them.

  • Nice people are good listeners.  I've got to say, I'm good at this.  Unfortunately I'm super good at this.  I listen so well to people that I remember what they say.  I've discovered most people don't mean most of what they say.  When I remember what people say and then they say or do something in complete contrast to what I heard them say when I was listening to them.  I lose trust in people when this happens.  Trust, in my world, is a critical attribute.  Once it is lost, it's hard to restore it.

  • When you are a nice person you are confident, but humble.  People like to be around confident people.  It makes them feel secure.  I'm pretty confident.  When I'm not confident about something, I'll tell you.  Then you will know I'm going to need some assistance.  People don't like to be around egotistic people.  They are annoying.  I struggle with my confidence in my point of view, not sounding egotistical.  When or if anyone would or could think of me as egotistical, it makes me laugh.  My sole desire in life would be to be invisible.  I never want people looking at me.

  • Nice people offer to help or give gifts once in a while.  I'm happy to offer to help, if I can.  I mean, if I'm not too busy and can really give the help cheerfully and not resentfully.  Also, I have to be able to help and not just say I will help.  I want to be useful when I give an offer to help.  As far as giving gifts... well, sure.  I mean, if I ask someone to go to the movies with me, I'll pay.  Or if I ask someone to go for a drink with me, I'll buy a drink for them, but I'm not going to buy all the drinks.  I don't want it to seem as if I'm buying friends.  And if I'm with someone who has their hand out for gifts and money from me, under the guise of friendship.  I don't think they are being very nice.

  • Being nice requires politeness.  I'm a polite person.  I have manners.  I offer a seat on a bus or train to someone older or pregnant.  I wasn't born in a barn.  I hold the door for people.  I think good manners make everyone more comfortable.  The one hitch to the politeness requirement for being a nice person is that cussing is not a "nice person" quality.  I have a tendency to cuss.  This will have to change if I'm ever going to be a nice person.

  • Nice people don't talk about people behind their backs.  Nice people aren't gossipers.  Oh My Goodness, it's going to be hard for me to be a nice person.  I mostly don't talk about people behind their backs, but I'm happy to listen to what others have to say.  Unfortunately, I'm the kind of person that will tell you to your face the thing most people are saying behind your back.  This little trait of mine may keep me out of the nice people club forever.  I don't think it should, but I think it may.  I've always been of the mind to say what I mean, when I'm talking to someone, but don't say it mean.  But, some people don't like to hear the truth.

  • The nice people don't return bad behavior with bad behavior.  They just don't get down in the mud with people.  If someone is rude to a nice person, a nice person does not respond rudely.  A nice person wouldn't go all Real Housewives on you and threaten to take you to court when they are upset with you.  A nice person would invite you over for tea and clear the air with a nice chat.  Nice people are mature.  Nice people treat people like grown-ups and don't talk down to them or coddle them.  I don't like to get down in the mud, but I've been pushed into that mud a time or two.  I try to stay above the fray.  It's tough and I've been told I've been too easy on people, but I think it's the right thing to do.

  • Nice people treat other people the way they would like people to treat them.  If you want people to treat you with respect, be respectful.  If you want people to be kind to you, be kind to them.  I think this is a trait I can get next to.  If this is the main trait of being a nice person, then I could consider myself a nice person.  I believe in treating people the way you would like to be treated.


  • 180.  All the nice people out there in the world
    181.  My small group bible study and their willingness to tell me when I'm off the mark and set me straight
    182.  The guardian angel that kept me from hitting the guy skateboarding in the middle of the road last night at 9:30 p.m.
    183.  People who remind me to smile
    184.  Google maps (they are so good)
    185.  Knowing it's going to rain while I'm in NYC, but being OK with that, 'cause I'm going to be in NYC   

    5 comments:

    1. see i fail at the returning bad behavior with bad behavior...ha...there comes a point i dont mind the dip in the mud if you are throwing...smiles...but i will talk to anyone...smiles.

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    2. Kaitlin @ Homemaker DesignFebruary 20, 2013 at 7:16 AM

      Aw, I think you're pretty darn nice!  It's hard to be nice all the time - even if some of those things come naturally, the flesh wins out often and even in areas of where one excelles in niceness can turn..not nice.  I love what you have here...makes me think on many ways I can improve to be nicer! :) 

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    3. I am trying to be nice and kind for Lent.  I have to almost constantly remind myself about it!!!

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    4. I always like to treat people the way I'd like to be treated.  Unfortunately - that isn't always reciprocated.  Sorry I missed this post - I was out of pocket some and this one got by me...

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    5. I think that I'm a nice person.  And I think that I do my best to have these traits. 

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