Monday, May 21, 2012

Five ways to Facebook better

Did you see how I made Facebook into a verb.  Isn't it funny the things we can do with language now?  No, I know it's not.  First of all, I was wrong.  (my husband is going to love seeing this in print)  Facebook did not soar to $74.50 on the NASDAQ.  In fact, it was kept, artificially, at the initial pricing of $38 to keep from looking like a flop.  Today is a new day and FB is trading down $4.50.  Hey, maybe this is the buying opportunity you were hoping for.  I'll let you know when I take the plunge.

Secondly, what I really want to talk about is how to do Facebook better.  Maybe I should have titled this post, "How to Facebook like a grownup."  Whatever.  Here are five ways to do fb better.  I have 10, but we'll start with five and see how it goes.

Number 1.  If you want to look at photos on fb, view them full screen.
Click on the image to make it big, then click the x in the top right-hand corner to close it.  Easy peasy.

Alternate Number 1.  Don't post so many pictures.
Seriously.  Be a little more choosy with the pics.  We don't need to see every second of your vacation or your night out with the girls.  (but if you get very drunk, by all means, keep 'em coming)

Number 2.  Hide what you are reading (or playing around with) on fb.
If you like the new social reading apps, but don't want to broadcast to the world what you read on your coffee break, adjust the settings accordingly.

A better Number 2.  Stop sending game requests.
If you don't want everyone to know how you are wasting your day at work or home, when you're supposed to be taking care of the kiddies, STOP, for the love of Mike, sending the Words w/ Friends, and Treasure of Whatever, and Chocolate Hearts.  Just stop it.

Number 3.  Create lists based on your interests.
You can organize your friends and groups on the left hand side of your fb page into lists of specific interests.  This way you can check a list instead of perusing your entire newsfeed.

WAY better than Number 3.  Stop adding people to your Facebook that are not your real friends.
You don't have 1,856 friends.  Seriously, you don't.  A friend is someone who will loan you five bucks from time to time.  If you have this many friends, in real life, no wonder you are on fb all day and not working.  I'm guessing you are bumming money from them and depositing the loot in that off-shore account.  What, in the heck, is with all the friends.

Number 4.  Populate your new fb map with pics.
This will make your map much more interesting.  When you add your cover photo just click on the option "add photos to map."

Alternate and better Number 4.  Stop with the vague and needy status updates.
Grow up. You're not a 14 year old girl.  If you're going to update your status with cryptic or "woe is me" messages to try to garner a BUNCH of comments and responses, don't.  When you post, "does anyone really care? I think not." most people would rather unfriend you, than respond.  Grow up, already.

Number 5.  Reposition the photos on your timeline.
If you want your timeline to look as lovely as possible, you can fine tune how your images appear.  If an image is off-center or you can't see the main focus of the photo, reposition it to look better.  Click the "Edit or Remove" pencil icon on the top-right and select "Reposition Photo." Click and drag it until it's in a better position.

OMGoodness, there has to be a better Number 5.  (if you've got this kind of time on your hands and you're pissing it away repositioning photos on fb, I don't know if there is any hope for you AT ALL)  However, here is a better option.  Learn to spell.
You are an adult, for Pete's sake.  Don't to this, "Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Everything is unfolding SOOOOOOO magically ANYthing and EVERYthing IS possible :))))))))) weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."  And, if you mean "you are" it's spelled "you're."  Take some time out of your day to practice spelling and writing like a grown-up.

If you find anything of use in this post, please let me know.  I'll post five more tips later this week.  :)

263.  After missing two weeks of my small group bible study, they called to see if I was ok
264.  I still have a job after a two week vaca
265.  Ton's of work to make the day FLY by
266.  Back to blogging
267.  I still fit in my pants after two weeks of doing nothing, but resting and eating
268.  Being missed by my son
269.  Missing my son


  1. you know...never been happier not to be on FB still...smiles....

  2. I admire your tenacity on this subject.  Sorry to bombard you with the fb drivel.

  3. hahahahhahahahhahahaaa.  so funny!

  4. This is funny - I couldn't even remember how many facebook friends I have, so I just looked - 217.  They are all actual friends and family members - I have ignored some requests from people I barely know. 

    I hate it when people tell too much of their personal business on facebook.  I realize that's what it is for, but one friend and her husband were leaving for Hawaii on an early morning flight and he still hadn't packed at 1am that morning.  She posted something angry about that and then an update that he did it finally.  That kind of thing makes me crazy.

  5. My goodness!!  I don't even do Facebook and I really did laugh out loud at this – and I smiled all the way through – it was Hiiiiiiilarious!!! Well done!! ANd the little thank yous tucked in at the end – beautiful. God bless and keep you!

  6. This was a very good list filled with helpful ideas! I love, love, LOVE that your Bible Study called you to make sure everything was ok! That makes me happy as can be!

  7. You.Are.Funny. I love your writer voice, and your good advice. :) 

  8. Great suggestions. I am glad that I don't do FB.  But maybe one day I will and will come back here to get the latest on how to....Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, you are sooooooooooooooo wonderful.  Oh boy. 


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