I have spent a lot of time and energy on MBTI this weekend. This is a personality type indicator, if you are not familiar. There are 16 different personality types (this is a huge generalization, but it works). I won't go into the details because you can click the link and investigate for yourselves. Anyway, long story short, I am an ISTJ. To put it succinctly, I am faithful, dependable, and punctual. I'm boring. Evidently, the more feeling personality types think I'm kinda mean, too. I'm pretty direct. This is probably why I don't have a lot of pictures and flowers and buttons and "stuff" on my blog. I want to be pretty and have all that stuff, but that doesn't get the job done. The job is to work out who I am and how I can be authentically happy and put it out there in the world. So, does being an ISTJ mean I can't be happy? I know feelings aren't my strong suite. I know I am comfortable in an organized, neat and focused world. Is there anything wrong with that? Can that be the extent of my happiness? I love the fact that I am planning my vacation on a day by day basis. I don't have every hour planned, but I have a pretty good idea of how the days should be used. If I just let the day come as it does, I may not do anything worthwhile. I want to hike, I want to visit the Grand Canyon, I want to do something special with my husband.
I'm struggling with the notion that my "type" is wrong. That because my feelings and other people's feelings don't hit the top of my list in interaction, there is something "wrong" with me. I'm working on this, but with reservation. Is it my fault that the Fe's and Te's out there don't listen to what I say and read their own thoughts into what I say? I don't think so. I'll try to think about feelings while I interact with these types. I know it will make my life a bit easier, albeit, use up a lot of my time and energy. Oh yeah, it takes all kinds to make a world. And, I guess, they make the world a nicer place. (maybe)
Happiness. Boy, it's a winding and tricky road to get to it.