Contrived

When one wants to become good at something, one is encouraged to practice.  Right?  I've mentioned that to become proficient at something you have to spend 10,000 hours doing it.

So, is it contrived to blog often?  If you are a blogger and you want to become good at blogging or even if you don't want to become good at blogging, you just want to improve your writing, you write.  If you want to write poetry, is it contrived to write a poem every day?  If you want to be a wonderful chef, is it contrived to cook every day?  If you want to be a wonderful actor or lawyer, is it contrived to tell lies every day?  (just kidding, not really, yes I am, no I'm not.)

There seems to be a trend of thinking out there amongst the younger folks, that one is BORN being talented in some area or another.  I'm guessing, and I could be wrong, but I don't think so, this trend of thinking comes from observing teen pop stars like Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift and (from the olden days) Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.  There is a trend of thinking that believes these folks were born talented and luckily, became RICH and FAMOUS.  And, the thinking continues, if it happened to these folks, it could happen to me, as well.  I mean, aren't I talented?  My high-school art teacher said I showed some talent.  And, I saved all the pictures I drew in high school and they must be worth hundreds of dollars now.  And, I play the guitar some and, even if I don't play every day, I'm still as good as any rock star and I deserve to be rich and famous, too.  I think there may be a disconnect with the fact that these LUCKY pop stars didn't graduate from high school and spent ALL their time singing or dancing or both and there was a lot of hard work involved and there were parents giving up their time and energy, as well.  But, ... who's thinking about that.

Practicing is thought of as contrived.  I guess the words or the music or the art or the cooking or the arguing is supposed to flow through a person organically.  Anything of any worth or value comes out of the person without rehearsal.  If the music or the art or the cooking or the arguing has been practiced or rehearsed, it is contrived.  In my point of view, this is just being lazy.

Practicing, especially when you don't want to do it, is what makes you proficient at whatever it is you want to do well.  It not only gives you the opportunity to do your thing 10,000 times, it teaches you to have the discipline to keep working at whatever it is you want to do, even when it becomes tough to do.

If I want to be a better writer, I need to write every day.  Even when I have a tough time thinking of a topic to write about.  Even when the topic is something that isn't so much fun to write about.  If I want to become a better writer, I need to write.

An angel colors my hair

Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.  Hebrews 13:2

I've been studying angels.  It is an interesting and enlightening subject.  Guardian angels, angelic hosts, warrior angels, strangers as angels, there are a LOT of angels.  I think my hairdresser is an angel.  If she's not an angel, she is the next best thing to an angel.

The day before yesterday (Wednesday) I had to have a root canal procedure.  It was a BIG root canal.  Four roots.  An hour and a half in the chair not counting the time it took to become numb with whatever numbing stuff they use these days.  I also had a hair appointment scheduled two hours after the root canal.  My hope was I would be able to get my hair appointment and get colored and cut before the Novocaine wore off.  Unfortunately, this was not to be.  Instead, my hairdresser said I could come in the next day for cut and highlights.  I was grateful.  So, instead of getting my hair done, I went home and made dinner for my family before the Novocaine wore off.  Good.  I then swallowed the maximum amount of Tylenol allowed and crawled in bed.

When I arrived at my appointment yesterday the shop was dark and empty.  I was sure I had screwed up.  I remembered this day was Thursday.  My hairdresser closes her shop on Thursdays.  As long as I've been going to her, the shop has been closed on Thursdays.  I guess when it's a week with a holiday on Monday and you're talking on the phone while driving your car just after you have finished spending two hours in a dentist chair having him scrape and poke and drill and generally mess around with the inside of your mouth, you can forget what day it is.  And, I did just that.  I forgot this day was Thursday.  I forgot.

The art gallery next door to the salon was open and an artist was sitting at a desk.  She said, in her exotic Portuguese accent, the salon had been closed all day.  I knew, just at that moment, I had misunderstood the time and day of my appointment.  Darn.

Just then, my hairdresser stepped through the door.  She had come into her shop just to do my hair.  And not only did she come in just to do my hair, but she brought me a sweatshirt to wear under the smock because she knew it would be cold in the shop.  The shop had been closed all day with the thermostat scaled back to 58 degrees.  She is an angel.  She opened her shop, just for me and thought of my comfort.  She is definitely an angel.

We chatted while she foiled my hair and we waited and we drank wine and she washed and she cut and she styled my hair.  All during the time it took to cover all my gray and make me feel pretty again, I kept thinking, "she did this all for me."  I can't explain how special it made me feel.  It was such a gift.  During our chat she asked if I ever wrote about her in my blog.  I said I thought I had once, a while ago, but I wasn't sure.  I want to be sure next time she asks if I ever write about her in my blog.  I'll be able to tell her, YES.  I wrote about you and I wrote that I believe you are an angel.  I pray for God to bless you, Bren, and send his angels to gather around you and protect you from every bad thing.

If you ever find yourself in the mid-Atlantic and desire to meet the very best hairdresser and colorist, go to the Salon and meet Bren.  She's an angel.  :)

What do you do when you see the train wreck coming?

What do you do?

I've read in the Bible that God has gifted his believers with spiritual gifts.  There are a few places where this is mentioned, but for sake of brevity, let's focus on just 1 Corinthians 12.  In this passage there is a list of spiritual gifts:  administration, apostle, discernment, faith, healing, helps, knowledge, miracles, prophecy, teaching, tongues interpretation and wisdom.

This is quite a list.  And there are a few things on the list I have never seen manifested in any of the church people I've come into contact with in my short (read - 54 years) life.  I would love to have run into a real healer.  I see the healers on tv and, well..., I just don't believe it.  I want to have faith, but I cannot muster it up for the guy with the giant comb-over or whoever else is charging big money for the healings.

It seems to me most people who believe in the gifts of the spirit and most people who believe they possess one or more of these gifts are fairly "out there" about them.  I can't tell you how many people I've met who have been gifted by teaching or knowledge or administration or discernment or faith.   Yep, they are out there.  I'm glad they know their gifts and I'm glad they are proud of them.  I'm also glad they are willing to use them.  Hopefully they will use them to serve others and not themselves.  I can always hope.

I've never been proud or happy about the spiritual gift I believe I have.  It scares me.  When I've shared it, people don't care much for me.  I was thinking about this while I was away from church and prior to returning to an organized church.  I decided, I'm not going to share my spiritual gift with anyone in the church.  While pondering this decision I spent time l discovering what happened to other people gifted similarly.

Isaiah:  suffered martyrdom by being sawn in two.
Jeremiah:  suffered martyrdom by stoning
Ezekiel:  suffered martyrdom in the land of the Chaldeans
Daniel:  Saved from martyrdom in a lion's den by angels
Micah:  suffered martyrdom in Jehoram
Amos:  tortured by Amaziah and then martyred
Johan:  remember being in the belly of a giant fish, yeah, he lived
Nahum:  died in peace (yay)
Habakkuk:  died two years before Israel was released from Babylonian captivity
Zephaniah:  I didn't discover how he died
Haggai:  ditto
Malachi:  died young
Nathan:  died old, but pissed off David regarding his infidelity with Bathsheba, so I'll bet his life wasn't so much fun after that.
There are more, but the bottom line is this.  Most people didn't like what they had to say.

Yep, these were the prophets.  It seems, most people do not want to hear what the prophets have to say.  Even if what they have to say is, "Hey, stop what you are doing.  There is a train coming.  Hey, you are going to get hit by a train."

I've thought, for quite a while, that my spiritual gift is prophecy.  Not the kind that knows what the lottery numbers are (darn it).  Maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe it's just the kind of prophecy that mom's have.  I don't think it gives me the right to say anything I want.  I don't really know how to explain it.  I've discovered when I share my thoughts about God stuff in God centered activities, it isn't always well received.  (even when the result is exactly as I predicted)  As I write this, I see how strange this sounds.  As I find myself back in church and moving closer to God and spending more time with God, the visions the desire to share my thoughts with others is returning, as well.  I don't like this.

Thanks for letting me share this dilemma with you.  I welcome all criticism and correction on this.  I'm open to your opinions.  :)

Making friends

Am I a good friend?  I sit with my coffee cup warming my hands and wonder if I am a good friend to  the people in my life.  My struggle is with being myself to those around me and wanting to be liked.  How are the two held in balance?  I have no advice for myself. 

I remember the golden rule.  Be kind.  Treat others as you would like to be treated.  People like to be around cheerful people.  What if I'm not cheerful this day.  Am I fake if I put on a happy face?  Maybe I should warn my friends, "I'm sad today."  Then watch them back away.

A smile is contagious.  Are tears contagious, too?  What about truth?  Do these pants look good on me?  Or is saying nothing at all the better choice.  "Words fitly spoken are like apples of gold in pitchers of silver."  This is what the plaque over the buffet in the dining room said.  Are the fit words flattery or truth or... what? 
 
Am I a good friend?  I've lost some friends this past year.  I haven't been able to be who they wished me to be.  I didn't measure up.  On a good day I'll tell myself we just weren't a good fit.  On a different day I'll blame them for their selfishness.  On any other day I'll tell myself I failed.  What makes a friend?  Acceptance?  Appreciation?  Similar interests?

My coffee is cold now.  I haven't found an answer. 

I will continue to be the best me I can be and we will see if others are drawn to me.  It's all I can do.

2012, the secret to living well

I was hoping to blog about my New Year's resolutions and changes I want to make in my behaviors, etc.  Instead, I'm going to write about the lessons I learned from falling in the shower this morning while getting ready to return to work after my 10-day break.

First of all, I heard this truth quite a few years ago.  Here goes, "The secret to living well into your old age is, Don't Fall Down."

This is the truth, people.  Don't fall down.  If you fall when you are a young person, it's annoying.  When you fall, as an older person, it is devastating.  Luckily, I didn't hurt myself too bad in this particular fall.  I'm not going to kid myself.  I'm going to be feeling aches and pains from this slip and fall for quite a while.  As I sit here in this cold room I can feel my lower back seizing up.  I can feel my left wrist beginning to hurt.  (and I don't really remember what I did to my wrist.  I guess I tried to catch myself.  hilarious.)  And, my butt hurts.  (tmi?)

What have I learned from this experience?  I mean, what's the point of surviving a near-tragic accident if we don't learn anything from it.

The first thing I learned is, clean up after yourself.  Yesterday, I took a bubble bath to relax.  I can't remember the last time I took a bubble bath, but there you have it.  At the end of the bath I thought it would be a good idea to give myself an invigorating scrub with a sea-salt/oil scrub I have had sitting by the side of the tub for longer than I can remember.  It seemed like a good idea to begin the new year by exfoliating all the dead cells from my 2011 body.  I rinsed off and let the water drain away.  I dried myself off and dressed for my small group bible study.  Here's where I made my first mistake.  I should have rinsed out the tub.  I should have cleaned all the residual oil out of the tub.  The slip and fall would have been avoided and I would be writing about exercise or dieting or smiling more often, whatever.  Clean up after yourself.  This is a good resolution to make for 2012.  It will save you a world of hurt and, seriously, all your family members (read - wives or moms) will love you all the more.  :)

Secondly, I learned I really need to strengthen my abdominal muscles.  I have to admit, I fell fairly slowly, as falls go.  Had I had stronger abs, I may not have fallen all the way to the ground.  I may have been able to catch myself and not hit bottom quite so hard.  So, here is the ubiquitous new year resolution, exercise more in 2012.  I think having a strong core can save a world of hurts.  It is certainly good for balance and supporting a lower back.

Lastly, function over form.  I don't have a non-slip bath mat in my tub because I've always thought they look ugly.  I depended on the slight texture imprinted on the porcelain bottom of the tub.  Big Mistake.  I will be going out shopping for a non-slip bath mat for my tub as soon as possible.  Form following function.  This is an architectural truism and I'm going to make it a credo in my life.  Ornamental foo-foo is not essential.  It has, in fact, become dangerous as I grow older.  As I write this, I see this lesson goes to another ubiquitous resolution, clearing clutter.  Form over function.  If it does not have a function in my home or my life, it does not need to be in my home or my life.  This year I will be ruthless in the quest for minimalism in my life. 

It seems this post has ended up to be a resolution post without even trying.  Happy New Year and a Blessed 2012 to you all.  Now, back to the grindstone, salt mine, get your ass in gear, get back in the saddle, or whatever work idiom you like to use.  The vacation is over.  :)