I posted earlier about doing 40 days of yoga and I'm doing it. I'm doing it the best I can. In the post about what I was "gonna do" I said a lot of things. I was completely talking out of my butt. I had NO idea what to expect. None. Seriously. So, since I have week 1 under my belt I can share with some experience. Here goes.
I'm pretty sure I'm one of the oldest people in the class and I'm certain I'm the heaviest. (this is a hard for me to say aloud. I don't know why, because I know I'm not invisible, but it just is, ... hard to say.)
Yoga is hard to do when you are fat. I'm sure it's hard to do when you are not fat, but the belly and thighs make a HUGE difference. I'm making an enormous (haha) effort not to become discouraged. I'm mostly attending beginner classes. And I should ONLY take beginner classes. However, the Sunday evening class is for EVERYONE, so they accommodate all experience levels. Most of the people in this class are experienced, so... the yoga practice is harder. Let me share some of my joy. When the class begins I think to myself, boy, I hope I don't fall down. I really don't want to fall down. I think if I fall down, I won't be going back there. So far, I haven't fallen down. Booyah!!! Then I begin to do my best at getting into and holding the poses. It's hard for me. I look at the girls on either side of me fold their lithe bodies and look completely at ease in the poses. Their hair is smooth. Their eyes closed, faces serene. And dry.
Now look at me. I'm in my pose, sort of. My hair is mussy, because it will NOT stay in the ponytail I affected this morning, because my hair is NOT quite long enough to stay put so strings of hair are hanging in my face. Obviously my eyes are NOT closed or I wouldn't be able to see what the other girls are doing. My face is NOT serene. In fact, I'm pretty sure I look puzzled. I try to use the puzzled look to mask the pained look. Oh yeah, and my face is NOT dry. I'm SWEATING. A LOT.
Now you have a picture of my yoga. Not pretty. The goal for the week was to attend 3 - 4 yoga classes and to do 1 - 2 home practices. I attended 3 classes and did zero home practices. I don't know any by heart yet, so... There you go.
Meditation is also part of this class. As I mentioned before, this is not my strong suit. I really have no strong suit in this 40-day class, but meditation has NEVER been something I could do at all. Well, surprisingly enough, I've been kinda OK at meditation. So surprising. I'm finding that focusing on my breath and my body for 5 minutes at a pop is something I can do. We were supposed to meditate twice each day for 5 minutes each. I did it 3 times this week. OK, so, I didn't do it as much as I was supposed to do, but the quality of those 3 times was darn good.
Thirdly, mindful eating was a part of the program this week. Why do I want to eat this? How will it make my body feel? Do I want this because I am hot? Or cold? etc. etc. etc. This WAS fairly key for me. It does slow down the "grab and go" eating that is a part of my existence. I can't say I did this perfectly, but I did it often. I'm not sure I completely understand the desire for food and the hot or cold body experience, but this seems to be an important part of the program. I will make an effort to grasp this concept more fully. Fyi, I've lost 2 lbs. this week. So, ... I'm looking at this as a positive. Tough to do, but I think I should.
Lastly, journaling and answering "excavation questions." Another tough area for me. I understand journaling is one of the MOST powerful vehicles for change. I'm trying to do it. For some reason, blogging like this is easier for me than writing in a book. But, I don't think you would like to hear the answers to the questions I'm being asked to contemplate. Example, "Where in my life am I flirting with disaster?" No one wants to hear the answer to THAT ONE. :)
There you have it in a nutshell. One week of the 6-week program complete. One week to changing my way of thinking about my body, my thoughts, my interactions, my self-care. This is all good. Thanks for letting me share. A little accountability goes a long way.
I'm pretty sure I'm one of the oldest people in the class and I'm certain I'm the heaviest. (this is a hard for me to say aloud. I don't know why, because I know I'm not invisible, but it just is, ... hard to say.)
Yoga is hard to do when you are fat. I'm sure it's hard to do when you are not fat, but the belly and thighs make a HUGE difference. I'm making an enormous (haha) effort not to become discouraged. I'm mostly attending beginner classes. And I should ONLY take beginner classes. However, the Sunday evening class is for EVERYONE, so they accommodate all experience levels. Most of the people in this class are experienced, so... the yoga practice is harder. Let me share some of my joy. When the class begins I think to myself, boy, I hope I don't fall down. I really don't want to fall down. I think if I fall down, I won't be going back there. So far, I haven't fallen down. Booyah!!! Then I begin to do my best at getting into and holding the poses. It's hard for me. I look at the girls on either side of me fold their lithe bodies and look completely at ease in the poses. Their hair is smooth. Their eyes closed, faces serene. And dry.
Now look at me. I'm in my pose, sort of. My hair is mussy, because it will NOT stay in the ponytail I affected this morning, because my hair is NOT quite long enough to stay put so strings of hair are hanging in my face. Obviously my eyes are NOT closed or I wouldn't be able to see what the other girls are doing. My face is NOT serene. In fact, I'm pretty sure I look puzzled. I try to use the puzzled look to mask the pained look. Oh yeah, and my face is NOT dry. I'm SWEATING. A LOT.
Now you have a picture of my yoga. Not pretty. The goal for the week was to attend 3 - 4 yoga classes and to do 1 - 2 home practices. I attended 3 classes and did zero home practices. I don't know any by heart yet, so... There you go.
Meditation is also part of this class. As I mentioned before, this is not my strong suit. I really have no strong suit in this 40-day class, but meditation has NEVER been something I could do at all. Well, surprisingly enough, I've been kinda OK at meditation. So surprising. I'm finding that focusing on my breath and my body for 5 minutes at a pop is something I can do. We were supposed to meditate twice each day for 5 minutes each. I did it 3 times this week. OK, so, I didn't do it as much as I was supposed to do, but the quality of those 3 times was darn good.
Thirdly, mindful eating was a part of the program this week. Why do I want to eat this? How will it make my body feel? Do I want this because I am hot? Or cold? etc. etc. etc. This WAS fairly key for me. It does slow down the "grab and go" eating that is a part of my existence. I can't say I did this perfectly, but I did it often. I'm not sure I completely understand the desire for food and the hot or cold body experience, but this seems to be an important part of the program. I will make an effort to grasp this concept more fully. Fyi, I've lost 2 lbs. this week. So, ... I'm looking at this as a positive. Tough to do, but I think I should.
Lastly, journaling and answering "excavation questions." Another tough area for me. I understand journaling is one of the MOST powerful vehicles for change. I'm trying to do it. For some reason, blogging like this is easier for me than writing in a book. But, I don't think you would like to hear the answers to the questions I'm being asked to contemplate. Example, "Where in my life am I flirting with disaster?" No one wants to hear the answer to THAT ONE. :)
There you have it in a nutshell. One week of the 6-week program complete. One week to changing my way of thinking about my body, my thoughts, my interactions, my self-care. This is all good. Thanks for letting me share. A little accountability goes a long way.
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Keep up the good work Happy Girl! See you at the gym!
ReplyDeleteHey!!! I know you. :)
ReplyDelete1) Yay for not falling down! Worth celebrating.
ReplyDelete2) Have you thought about journaling in a private "test" blog? You could answer the questions for yourself but it might feel like blogging. I have published posts in my test blog that I decided not to put on my public blog. Plus it gives me a place to experiment with my design without driving readers batty.
Yay for you!!! It's more Yoga than I did last week which was none. I'm proud of you and you should be proud of yourself for making it through your first week. You did...One week down. You go girl!
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up, I love reading your writing! Glad you made it one week. I am working on the 30 day shred.....unfortunately, I have been at it for more than 30 days (not 3 consecuative days mind you) and am still not pre-pregnancy (which was still not in the "healthy"range). Maybe I should try the questions before I eat the food. Keep it up!!!!!
ReplyDeleteKristin
Great post... still laughing - with you, not at you. I, too, have to put forth "enormous" effort these days. You've inspired me to keep it up. It will all be worth it in the end. :)
ReplyDeleteI need to do yoga, I'm fat err...pregnant so I really need to do something thanks for inspiring me!!!
ReplyDeletegreat job...it will get easier as it goes along...people say stuff like that and i wonder if they really know what they mean...but the journaling and meditation i can attest to...if blogging is easier why not start you a journal online or blog a snippet each day...just a thought...good job on the weight...and i still want to try yoga some time...
ReplyDeleteYoga is really with sticking with. It can be really hard at first not to feel self-conscious. But, it can really make you feel fabulous.
ReplyDeleteAs for the excavation question . . . where in my life am I NOT flirting with disaster?
@ Lynn - no way you are fat. You look MARVELOUS.
ReplyDelete@ Mama Zen - I'm going to stick with it. My hamstrings are just KILLING me. Just sayin'
@ Brian - C'mon down!! There is yoga EVERYWHERE. I've even seen yoga class offered in the church bulletin.
@ Sandra - THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
@ Joybird - I've considered the web journal, but they want us to BRING it with us. I know, print it, but I don't want to STICK OUT any more than I already do. haha
@ Valerie - Thanks for the encouragement
@ Kristin - go girl go. Shred away!!!
@ scrapinangel - Hey, the locker room door was LOCKED today. No one was around to tell me the combo. tomorrow.
What a great thing you are doing! I do yoga at home and I follow an online video. I'm a beginner, I do yoga every other day and only for 30 minutes. That's something, right? At least, that's what I keep telling myself. No, really, it's better than nothing.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I came across your post through Syd's I'm just F.I.N.E.-- blog.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I loved this post. I'm honestly ready to slap myself for not keeping my yoga promises. You've inspired me to get with it again (about time). I really just want to give you a hug and congratulate you. I think this is awesome! and that your post was awesome! HURRAY!!
WAY TO GO!!!!GREAT JOB I'M HONESTLY PROUD OF YOU.
ReplyDeleteps. I might have found your 'lost' 2 pounds. :)
Been on the road for a week.