I found these in my Google+ stream. They made me laugh so hard, I had to share.
1. Sometimes I'll look at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. Was learning cursive really necessary?
6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
8. Bad decisions make good stories.
9. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day..
10. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
11. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
12. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
13. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
14. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
15. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
by Tim Jones Thanks Google+
1. Sometimes I'll look at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. Was learning cursive really necessary?
6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
8. Bad decisions make good stories.
9. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day..
10. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
11. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
12. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
13. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
14. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
15. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
by Tim Jones Thanks Google+
Nice... but I don't really want to think too much about people who only wash their pants... well, ever. Eww.
ReplyDeleteThis is an awesome list!! I need to create that sarcasm font! lol
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I laughed very hard at #15. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious! Number 6 is my favorite.
ReplyDeleteLol. # 7 and # 10. :)
ReplyDeletelol great post. That's my laugh for the day.
ReplyDeleteSo funny. :) #9 - I can relate to that one.
ReplyDeleteToo funny! Thanks for the laughs! My faves... #6 and #15.
ReplyDeleteI love #1, 4, 9, 12 and 13! So funny! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeletesome really great sayings here!!
ReplyDeleteCheers
Lisa
I laughed all the way through - and I so needed a good laugh. I remember the littlest boy complaining about napping in kindergarten (the only one I didn't homeschool at for K) - and the older ones would say, "I wish we had naps." LOL Oh, and., yes, I cannot find the glasses on my head but I can hit that snooze button in the dark!!!
ReplyDelete