I'm in love with Doc Martin

I know...  This is nuts, isn't it...  I mean, really...  Who falls in love with a tv show.  Yeah, it's a tv show.
 
There must be something seriously wrong with me.  I am magnetically drawn to British television.  I don't know if it's the scenery or the accents or what, but I am drawn like a moth to a flame.  I can't help myself.  At first it was the presentation of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.  I wasn't too worried about this.  I mean, after all, what woman can't get next to Elizabeth Bennett.  And, Colin Firth was the quintessential Mr. Darcy.  I just thought I was addicted to period pieces.  I thought it was the way they presented the ENTIRE book in all it's glory.  No combined characters or abbreviated conversations.  I love this book and have read it more times than I like to admit.  Therefore, I chalked my being drawn to public television to this one event. 
 
And then there are the Masterpiece Mystery's of Agatha Christie.  I LOVE Miss Marple.  I ADORE Hercule Poirot.  Of course, I've read all Agatha's books as well.  And, I've read them more than once.  I know, I have a sickness.  I love the art deco theme of Poirot.  I love the village of St. Mary Mead.  I love the language.  There, I've said it.  I just love the way those English men and women speak.  Or, at least how they speak on the pbs series. 

Then, darn it, they came out with the entire Jane Austen series.  Really, were they just trying to suck me into the television opiate of the masses?  That darn pbs with their horrible telethons.  I have always loathed the way they schedule their best programming when they interrupt with the begging for money and the cheap tote bags.  But, the entire Jane Austen series.  I was drawn in.  Hook, Line, and Sinker.  Yeah, I was had.  Sure it was the condensed versions of the books, but it was beautiful.  The scenery was beautiful.  The costuming was gorgeous.  I was enthralled.

And now I've discovered Doc Martin.  Friday I was home recovering from my little test and I thought I'd watch something on Netfilx.  Do you know 20% of internet viewing these days is Netflix.  Yeah, unbelievable.  During a typical day on the internet 20% of the hits are on Netflix and 72% are porn hits.  I'm guessing the rest of the percentage leans more toward facebook than research for term papers.  Just sayin'.  Now I've digressed.  Back to Doc Martin.  Anyway, pbs has hooked me again.  I can't get enough of the haemophobic doctor.  I so wish I could tell people to "shut up" as often as he does.  I feel like I'm living vicariously through him.  So, this past weekend was a Doc Martin marathon.  Too much, really, but it was HOT here in the mid-Atlantic.  I mean, Monday was crazy hot.  I went to a picnic but I was sweating like a pig.  It was too hot to eat.  And there wasn't enough water to cool me off.  I asked my husband to take me home after two hours and he was MORE than ready.  Anyway, back to Doc Martin.  I'm living in picturesque Port Wenn in my mind.  I find myself horrified to look out my window and see where I actually am.  I'm dreaming of going home from work and watching more Doc Martin.  It's a sickness. 
 
Thanks pbs.  I'm hooked.  Who knows, I may be carrying a tote bag before too long.

 

Tamoxifen, the rest of the story

I'm just going to start with this, I HATE TAMOXIFEN.

Ok, now I've got that off my chest (haha, chest... tamoxifen... breast cancer).

I'll start with the positive.  I'm tolerating the side effects much better.  This is a plus.

Ok, one side effect of tamoxifen is endometrial cancer.  Obviously, this is one of the more serious side effects.  Ok, I'm going to make sure I don't have this side effect.  Today.  So, off to the doc to have my lady parts examined for endometrial cancer.  I hope I haven't offended any delicate sensibilities out there in blogland.  Btw, if you are the praying kind of person.  I'd love a word or two on my behalf.

This being said...  I hope everyone has a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend.  Fly the flag.  Thank a veteran.  If you're an American reader, be a proud American.  If you're a reader from another great country out there in blogland, thanks for reading and have a good weekend, as well.

Lasting Love

When did I change?
When did I learn I didn't have to be right?
Was it because I wasn't up to the fight?
Was I too tired?

When did he change?
When did he open his heart?
Who made the first start?
What took so long?

Am I still the girl he married?
Is he still the heart stealing man?
Are we the couple they said wouldn't last?
What made us stick it out?

I'm glad we pushed each other.
I'm glad we fought.
I'm glad we forgave.
Or were just too tired to hold the grudge.

I love his caring heart.
He loves my attention to detail.
I'm still me and he's still him.
And we are joined like the clasp of our hands.

Gratitude 101

Yesterday I got an email telling me the boy scout and the group working on his Eagle Project had just about finished and the project was looking very good.  This is good news and, of course, I will write a letter of thanks to this scout and copy his scout master.  I am grateful for the good work and the good news.  Of course.  I'm a nice person.  This is what nice people do.  Right?...  Right.

Grateful people do more than this.  A grateful person will hit reply-all on the email and thank the person sending the good news out to everyone.  A grateful person won't wait a week, or a day, or even an hour.  A person with true gratitude in their hearts will reply to this email IMMEDIATELY.  And, then sit down and get that thank you note out RIGHT AWAY.  Because, you can't say thank you too fast or too often.  It's a great way to be and I want to be this way.

I'm learning lessons in gratitude.  I wonder why this is such a challenge for me.  Well, it's not really a challenge, it's just not something I think to show IMMEDIATELY.  And, I've learned it is best to show gratitude immediately.  Don't get me wrong.  I say "thank you" when someone opens the door for me, pays for my lunch (haha), does me a favor.  I wasn't born in a barn.  Really.  Gratitude is more than saying "thank you."  Gratitude is a way of being.  You must have an Attitude of Gratitude.  This is something that can be developed.  This attitude of gratitude takes time and work.  I think some of us develop this attitude at an early age and God bless them.  They are so nice to be around.  Some never develop it.  We all know some individuals that exhibit a sense of entitlement.  It isn't attractive.

I am a person without a strong attitude of gratitude.  I'm going to go out on a limb and say I don't think I consider myself entitled, but I do have an unfortunate attitude of "if it's your job to do it, don't expect me to heap praise on you."  This is an unattractive quality.  See, you're getting to know me better every day.!.

So, how does one develop this gracious spirit?  I stumbled across some bloggers I LOVE and they had lists of items.  I mean these lists were in the four and five HUNDREDS.  LOTS of items in the list.  One day I asked what the list was and was told they were gratitude lists.  They got the idea from a book.  I need to read this book.  But, until then I've started the gratitude list.  I wanted to add to it every day, but I haven't.  And, the reason I haven't is because I don't look for the things I'm grateful for in my day to day life.  And I should.  There are TONS of things I'm grateful for.

Also, when one finds oneself sinking into the negative.  Alert!  Alert!  Alert!  This is a red flag.  You are not being grateful.  The focus is off.  You can pull out of this nose dive.  This is where a gratitude list will come in handy.  Think of four or five things you are grateful for.  Maybe a post-it on my computer screen would help at the office?  Maybe a note in the bathroom would help at home?  Until it becomes my nature, I have to use any tools I can find.

I must not compare myself, my husband, my son, my home, my job, anything... with anyone else.  This comparison does NOT lead me to an attitude of gratitude.  This leads to covetousness or jealousy or despair or fear.  Not to gratitude.  Being in my moment.  Living where I am, right now.  This leads to gratitude.

I'm going to continue with my Gratitude List and download Ann Voskamp's book to my kindle and move forward in gratitude.

Photo credit

Maranatha

Maranatha, is an Aramaic word that translates as:  Our Lord, come!  I'm sure many of you have heard of the prediction by Harold Camping for the end of the world tomorrow, May 21, 2011.  My understanding is he has figured out some biblical mathematical formula to confirm his prediction.  Also, there are facebook "Looting after the Rapture" events popping up.  As well as "Rapture Parties" and other similarly titled events.  Both these turn of events give me pause.

Mr. Camping, I hope, is trying to get the attention of believers and non-believers to the truth of the bible when it says Jesus will return.  I hope this is his goal.  I don't know.  Maybe he truly believes he knows the date and time of our Lord's return.  This "knowing" is not biblical, but on the other hand, a firm denial of this speculation is not biblical.  We are promised that no man knows when the Lord will return.  I've always felt comfort in this.  Don't get me wrong, tomorrow would be a GREAT day for the Lord to return.  I pray, often, for Him to not tarry long.  So, I guess we will see what tomorrow will bring.

As far as the parties and looting events planned for May 22, 2011.  These truly make me sad.  I know people are doing it as a joke and making light of the PREDICTION.  I know (or really really hope) this is a mocking of Mr. Camping and NOT a mocking of our Lord or His return.  The bible warns us of those mocking our Lord's return or His timing. 

I'm certainly not a bible scholar.  I usually don't use this blog to preach or get up on a soapbox.  I hope this didn't appear like that.  I do care about people.  I do want everyone to come to the saving grace of Jesus Christ.  I believe in the Great Commission and try to show my christian faith in my everyday life.  I pray this prediction brings people to an understanding of their need for a savior.  I pray they turn to God and repent of their sins.  I pray this every day, not just the day before The End Of The World.

Maranatha!  Our Lord, come!