I'm a Titus 2 older woman

Here I am, the Titus 2 older woman.  Even I can't believe I'm here.  My whole adult life I thought of myself as the Proverbs 31 woman.  I guess one can be both, but that's asking an awful lot of just one woman.  Even though the bible doesn't speak of the women as often as it spotlights the men, the verses directed towards us are chock-full of action items.

Here is a condensed version of what the Proverbs 31 woman is.  (this is the model God has for us girls.  ladies, hold on to your hats.)

The character of the Proverbs 31 woman is to be:  confident, courageous, dignified, diligent, an early riser. faithful, generous, industrious, influential, kind, moral, not lazy, observant, organized, prudent, reverent, sensible, one of strength, trustworthy, well groomed, and wise.

Her skillset is to include the textile arts, where she is to be creative, know handspinning, be knowledgeable in textiles, and have sewing skills.  She is also to be skilled in the culinary arts as the purchaser of choice foods and supervising meals.  Her management skills should include:  attention to detail, common sense, knowledge of home businesses, being a wise investor, observant, organized, taking the role of the overseer, being philanthropic, prepared, realistic, showing stewardship, being successful, teaching, and just all around wisdom.

Finally, her relationship with her husband should be one that shows appreciation for him, has his best interests at heart, be one of trust, full of praise for him, and be one of unity.

This, my friends, is a full-time job.  Oh?  What is that you say?  You have a full-time job outside of the home, too?  Just remember to take your vitamins.  Your going to need the energy.  Luckily, or not (depending on your point of view), you get seven days off each month to sit in a tent or cave on your own while you have your period.  (I hope I didn't offend anyone by saying "period,"  Especially Richard, the fb ranter of maxipad commercials.  check it out.)

One day you will wake up and discover you have become the Titus 2 woman.  Just when you got a handle on being the Proverbs 31 woman, wham, life takes a turn.  I can tell you, the day comes (about 25 years into your marriage) when the relationship with your husband has become such a close partnership that each and every one of the recommendations in Proverbs becomes as natural as breathing in and out.  You notice that you've gotten a handle on the home management thing, too.  (especially now that those sticky handed toddlers and non-driving teenagers have left the nest.)  You think you've checked the box.  But, No.  God has a new job for you.

Titus 2:3-5  "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the Word of God."

This is my new biblical admonition.  If, by any chance, you find yourself in my shoes and have discovered you are now a Titus 2 woman, remember this; just because we are able and capable to train the younger women, that doesn't mean they're going to listen to us.  And, if by any chance, you are a younger woman doing your best to follow the Proverbs 31 model; take a moment to ask a Titus 2 woman what she thinks or how she handled some of marriage's, motherhood's and general life living situations and struggles.  Believe it or not, things have not changed that much and there may be some wisdom between those older ears.

God knew what he was doing when he wrote these two passages.  Iron sharpens iron.  Experience is an excellent teacher.  One great thing about being in fellowship with other christians is to seek out wisdom and life long experience of walking this life with Jesus and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide us instead of the latest parenting trend or following the lifestyle trends of the Hollywood set.

Allow me to introduce myself as one of the newest Titus 2 women on this earth.  I know God has said (and I paraphrase), "You have not, because you ask not."  Feel free to ask me anything.  :)

Linking with Emily at Imperfect Prose on Thursday.

619.  Loving in a long marriage

620.  Raising a loving son

621.  Walking with Jesus for many years

622.  Being forgiven much

623.  Learning from Godly older women

624.  Caring about the next generation of christian women

Why I despise a liar

"Watching the debate tonight will be like watching a televised meeting of the Pathological Liars Club."

"The second episode of "Half Truths, Lies and Damn Lies" tonight! Must see TV."

These are both facebook statuses from ministers to their flocks.  Maybe this is why we've moved lying from the SIN category to the IT'S OK category.

There is something about being lied to that hurts in a way that pales to the pain of a punch in the nose or a slap in the face.  It takes so much longer to recover from being lied to.  

Consider the respect given to the office of the president of the United States.  The statements from those ministers would not have been uttered, let alone, written down prior to the Watergate scandal and the resignation of Richard Nixon.  You would think we, as a nation, would have learned one thing from that whole affair.  The one thing we should have learned was that committing the crime is one thing.  Lying about it after you are caught only makes it worse.  But we didn't learn, did we?  Enter Bill Clinton and his sex scandal with an intern and the "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, ..." finger wagging admonition on national television which resulted in his impeachment.  Watching the downfall of two powerful men as a result of their lies should teach each and every one of us a lesson.  But it doesn't.

I'm thinking this must be some sort of mental disorder.  I can tell when I'm being lied to.  Don't misunderstand me, it's not because I think everybody lies.  (actually, I do think this, but that isn't what I mean here)  I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.  When someone tells me something about themselves, I usually believe them.  That is, until it doesn't make sense anymore.  Let's face it, most liars think they are smarter than the people they are lying to.  There is some sort of superiority complex going on in their minds.  I don't completely understand the psychology involved.  

I know, from personal experience, that many people tell a lie to avoid the consequences of their actions.  I know when I was a child I did this.  At some point in my childhood I discovered that the consequences of my actions PLUS the consequences of being caught in the lie made my life more miserable.  I learned if I was going to do the crime, I was going to have to pay the price.  Thank goodness for the Holy Spirit living in me and reminding me of right and wrong.  (or a strong moral compass for you unbelieving readers)  Evidently not every child learns this lesson.  Recently I was lied to by my son.  He told us he was taking a college class over the summer, when in fact, he was not.  My husband and I knew he was lying to us.  We gave him opportunity after opportunity to tell us the truth.  (my husband said I gave him opportunity after opportunity to lie to me)  Finally at the end of August he confessed.  We were furious, but not surprised.  How could he think we were so stupid we didn't know or wouldn't find out?  He lives with us, for Pete's sake.  I have an extremely difficult time believing anything he tells me.  He's offended by this, but that's just the way it is.

I don't understand how an adult (is 32 years old considered an adult or is it still a part of the extended adolescence?) can tell everyone a lie about her family and her house for six months.  It was a stupid lie and doesn't matter to anyone.  Just because she didn't understand how a short sale works, I guess she thought no one else understood how a short sale works, either.  This seems to be part of the superiority complex that goes along with lying.  And, it is far from the first time she has lied to family and friends, gotten caught, confessed, and then lied again.  She is a self-confessed liar.  I get that.  When people tell you who they are, believe them.  Yet, she is comforted and forgiven for lying to her friends, ...again.  I wonder how long the long-suffering of her friends will last?  Maybe she is what is known as a pathological liar?  Maybe she just hasn't grown up yet?  Maybe the consequences of her actions haven't hurt enough?  I don't know.

Our tenants have lied to us, continuously.  And they know we know they are lying.  They just keep doing it.  Don't liars know that when you lie to a person it is so disrespectful?  The minute they begin to speak we know a lie will come out.  The minute they begin to speak we dislike them more.  It's like they think we are stupid or something.  Or maybe, it's just their nature.  

Then again, maybe we are becoming a nation that has been told so long to be tolerant of everybody that we've begun to tolerate bad behavior and call it a disorder or something.  This is kind of frightening.  We are a nation that tolerates killing the unborn.  We are becoming a nation that tolerates lying.  Where will this downward spiral end?  What are we becoming? 

Colossians 3:9-10:  Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

Proverbs 12:22:  The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.

619.  My readers.  Thanks for missing me and letting me know you miss me and are concerned.
620.  Time to myself.
621.  People telling the truth.  I just love those people.
622.  Ministers that are not snarky.  I'm getting so sick of that type.
623.  Vodka.  (I cannot wait until this election is over)

Happy tunes

Letting a smile be your umbrella is easier to do when it’s
raining pennies from heaven.
Smilin’ through the pain will
keep the devil away.
Just like dwelling on your troubles will
bring you down.
I want to bring you sunshine.
I want to share the joy.
I won’t be your Debbie Downer no more.

I DARE you to watch this and not laugh.  I double dog dare you.

I'm linking with G-man for a Friday Flash 55 with a musical theme.  I've been a little bit of a downer lately and I'm praying the weekend will help me flip this frown upside down.  Enjoy the music.

614.  Laughter

615.  Music

616.  Comedy

617.  Theater

618.  Anything that diverts my attention from my troubles

I'm losing my compassion

I'm afraid I'm losing my compassion for people.  People in general, not people individually.  I've still maintained a fair amount of compassion for my friends and family, although in some cases even this is becoming difficult.

I'm afraid my heart is becoming hardened to people out there because of the attitude presented by the "so called" poor.  The date for my tenants to move out came and went.  My husband's blood pressure is dropping a bit, and that's a good thing.  The eviction is in the court system and it will happen at the snail's pace our court system functions at.  I just have to share this one thing.  They told us it is not their fault they haven't moved out.  It's not their fault.  They don't have a truck.  Nope, they don't have a truck so they can't move out.  Yep, not their fault. 

Evidently the only people able to move in this country are people that have trucks.  (my tenants, evidently, have never heard of UHAUL)  These people kill me.  (we are still talking about a family consisting of a grandmother, her two sons, ages 25 and 27, and a granddaughter.  what is up with these people?)

My compassion began waning while I was in the scary bible study with the church ladies.  There was the one "poor me" church lady that constantly had her hand out.  Her hand was out for money, for gas, for ANYTHING you could give her, but mostly, for money.  I tried to have compassion, but her attitude exuded, you should give me whatever I ask for because you have more than I have and I want what you have and I don't think I have to work or save or anything, you should just give it to me.  It was so frustrating to try to walk alongside her in her lean years.  She still wanted to go out to restaurants instead of cooking at home.  She wanted to stay home with her children and not work.  She wanted everything she wanted right now and didn't want to wait to earn or save for it.  When I loaned her items she asked for, she didn't return them.  She had to be asked over and over to give them back.  Her childish attitude did not match her adult body and adult responsibilities.

So, my level of compassion for "the poor" is waning.  I need help.

I'm seeking help and the best place I know to look is God's word.  I know God has a lot of compassion for people.  He had a super amount of compassion for the Israelites.  They moaned and groaned and even made a golden calf while they were in the desert and God was leading them (albeit in a 40 year trek) to the promised land.  I'm seeking help.

After searching God's word, I am, mostly, convicted.

Romans 12:15  Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.
I can do this.  I struggle with how to weep for those who want what I have because they think it's not fair that I have more than they have.

Proverbs 19:17  He who is gracious to a poor man lends to the LORD, And He will repay him for his good deed.
Wow, this is a good one.  This one makes me remember I need to wait on the Lord and not take matters into my own hands.  This one is also one that makes me want to find another word for poor in this country.  I am happy to give to the poor.  I'm not quite as gracious to the entitled. 

1 Corinthians 12:25-26  that there should be no division in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.
This one makes me think of the church lady.  I think this was the one she used to rationalize asking every member of the church for money.  I think this was the one used to rationalize asking the church to give them a low interest loan.  I want to care for members of the body.  It just makes it hard to give when you watch some take advantage.

1 Peter 3:8  To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit;
This on is very convicting.  I'm taping it to my computer monitor right now.

Psalms 35:13-14  But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth; I humbled my soul with fasting; And my prayer kept returning to my bosom. I went about as though it were my friend or brother; I bowed down mourning, as one who sorrows for a mother. But whoever has the world's goods, and beholds his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? 
This is love.  How can anyone behold a brother in need and close his heart and say they have the love of God in him.  These verses are beginning to break my heart.

Luke 10:33  But a certain Samaritan, who was on a journey, came upon him; and when he saw him, he felt compassion,
And this is how I am to respond.

Job 30:25  Have I not wept for the one whose life is hard? Was not my soul grieved for the needy?
The needy will grieve my soul.  When I think of the hunger of my fellow man, the food in my mouth will taste bitter.

Psalm 51:1  Be gracious to me, O God, according to Thy loving kindness; According to the greatness of Thy compassion blot out my transgressions.
I will treat others as I wish to be treated, with kindness and compassion.

Psalm 111:4  He has made His wonders to be remembered; The LORD is gracious and compassionate.
God is gracious and compassionate.  I want to be a reflection of him.

Thanks for taking this walk through God's word and seeking his thoughts on compassion with me.  I know he is faithful and will continue to break my heart for his people.  I know those people that have taken advantage of the system and have a lazy disposition and a hand out and don't want to work will be punished.  My attitude can still be compassionate and that compassion doesn't mean I have to give to the entitled.  I need to keep an open heart to the needy and give obediently and pray that God sends my money and my efforts to the ones that truly needs help.

I'm linking with Emily at Imperfect Prose on Thursday

610.  God's word available to me at any time
611.  Another opportunity to learn to trust God more deeply
612.  Learning more about prayer by praying for my tenants
613.  Learning more about prayer by praying for the church lady

I'd love a little cheese with my whine

Any kind of cheese.  Seriously.  I'm hungry.

I started WW on line last week.  I lost a pound and a half.  (can you believe I'm measuring by half pounds?  nuts.)  I was so hungry and that was it.  One and a half pounds.  Pitiful.

Our tenant was supposed to be out of the house yesterday.  She's still in the house.  She asked us to do her a favor and give her more time.  Why wouldn't I do her a favor?  Let's see...  Maybe I won't do you a favor because you haven't paid up all the rent you owe me.  Maybe I won't do you a favor because you've never paid me back for the DOZENS of times I've paid MetCom to turn your water back on because you didn't pay your bill.  Maybe I won't do you a favor because you have completely trashed my house.  You've made those houses on Hoarders look good to me.  You've used the back yard of my house like a city dump.  You've been storing trash in the garage.  And, I don't think you've done the dishes in a year.  So, why wouldn't I do you a favor?  You've certainly done so much for me.

Stress.  Stress.  Stress.

So now I have to go to court and have you evicted.  Btw, you want to hear how great eviction works out for the evil landlord?  I've got to go to court and file the paperwork to get you out.  Then the court assigns me a day to come back to court (read, take a day off of work) to say, "Judge, I want my tenant out of my house.  They have stopped paying rent to me."  Then, at the convenience of the county police department, an officer with an eviction notice will stop by the house and let them know they have 48 hours to leave the premises.  (I'm betting they don't answer the door.  just guessing, but what do you think.)  This may take a while.  Finally, they will accept the eviction notice and have 48 hours to clear out their stuff.

What does this mean to the evil landlord?  They aren't going to take their stuff.  Their stuff is mostly garbage.  Now the county will take their stuff and haul it out to the curb.  (I'm guessing there won't be anyone that wants to touch their stuff, but we will see.)  Guess what?  If, by some chance someone hauls the crap out to the curb, I have 48 hours to get the crap off the curb or the State Highway Association will give me a hefty citation for littering.  (I am not even kidding about this.)

Do we want to start a pool to find out when those deadbeats will be out of my house and I can start making them a distant memory?  Thanksgiving?  Christmas?  Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday?

Stress.  Stress.  Stress.

To relax, we thought we would watch some football last night.  During the game, I have to hear the political campaign commercials.  One particularly annoying commercial is Obama's "47%" commercial.  It uses the sound bite of Romney in a closed-door conversation with donors saying he isn't worried about the 47% of Americans that receive entitlements, they aren't going to vote for him, anyway.  This is played with images of working people, mostly white people, insinuating that Romney does not care about working people.  It made me sick.  It made my husband's blood pressure rise.  So much for a relaxing evening watching the game.

The stress of this situation is spilling into all areas of our lives.  I'm a stress eater and I'm on a diet.  We went out to dinner Saturday night with another couple.  Two of us (not me) got our dinner (after a considerable wait).  FORTY minutes later, the other two of us got our dinner.  During those 40 minutes of waiting I complained about the bad service to our dining companions.  I was told there was nothing we could do and just enjoy the conversation.  I tried, but evidently I was unable to put on my "happy face."  I apologized for my bad attitude and made an effort to enjoy the meal.  I wasn't successful.  I was hungry.  (btw, my husband called the restaurant when we got home and asked to speak to the manager.  he told him what happened and the manager asked him what the problem was.  evidently serving the diners at a table in two shifts is perfectly acceptable service.  who knew?)

My husband was mad at me.  I was mad at the restaurant.  We are not having a good time at our house.

If you are inclined to pray, we'd love some prayer over this situation.  And if not the situation, please pray for our attitudes.  Also, we are both huge fans of imported brie cheese.  We like most cheese, but I'd say brie is our favorite.  Just sayin'.  :)

605.  Forgiveness
606.  Friends
607.  A sense of humor (I know there is one in here somewhere)
608.  Salad
609.  Hey, I lost a pound and a half.