I call people on their stuff

I call people on their sh*t.  Yep, I don't pussyfoot around.  You know exactly where you stand with me.  When I see stupid, I hand them their sign.  I've been told by some people, I'm not nice.  I don't really know what "nice" is, I guess.  If nice is always agreeing with every un-thought-through idea someone utters.  I'm not nice.

Last night, I was reminded, by a member of my small group bible study, that I tell people what I think.  (our study is on ethics.  it's Chuck Colson's study called Doing the Right Thing)  Let me tell you, this is ground littered with landmines for a person like me.  We were discussing Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Letter from Birmingham Jail and the decision by Dr. King to participate in civil disobedience although he had great respect for the law.  We talked about the difference between Dr. King's response to, what he believed were, unjust laws of segregation and the current Occupy protest regarding the economic situation our county and the EU find themselves.  In order for civil disobedience to work Dr. King adhered to three main principles.  Dr. King was open and transparent about his reasons for disobeying the law of the land, he encouraged the demonstrators to remain non-violent and reminded them they would have to be willing to accept the consequences of their actions.  This non-violence and the horror of the repercussions to the demonstrations were the very things that broke through the walls of segregation in the 1960's.  I think the Occupy protesters do not have the focus we saw in the civil rights movement.  I don't think the occupiers are willing to suffer the consequences of their actions.  I think many of the protesters are unsure of their purpose.  I think the decision to remain non-violent is more difficult than most of the protesters have the capacity to achieve.  This is the condensed version of our discussion last night.
 
I love this kind of discussion.  I love to look at a difficult issue from all sides and figure out what I think about it.  I love listening to what other people think about issues, and why they think the way they do.  It's fascinating to me.  So, what's my problem?   After the discussion I was reminded, by a fellow group member, that nobody need ever wonder where I stand on an issue.  Ouch.  He said this in a laughing manner, but it stung a bit.  It's true, I'm very opinionated.  However, I don't share my opinions with everyone I meet.  We are in a group discussion.  Right?  Isn't this the place to share opinions and argue them?  Isn't this the place to set personalities aside and find out what we believe and why?  This is what I thought it was supposed to be.  Maybe I'm taking an off-hand comment a bit more to heart than I ought. 

I'm dissecting my actions and statements from last night's dialogue.  I know part of what I would like to accomplish in this group is to make friends with the other members.  I want to be nice.  One thing I've noticed about myself is my ability (or disability) to listen to what people say.  I'm much better at hearing and understanding the words being spoken than I am at reading the unspoken body language and tone in what is being said.  Because of this, I notice when people begin to backtrack and contradict themselves when they are trying to make a point.  I know it is not always necessary to bring this to the speaker's attention, yet, if I feel I must, I try to do it with kindness.  Also, I make every effort to present difficult points with self deprecating humor.  Seriously, it is one thing to say you know the right thing to do and another thing, completely, to say you always DO the right thing.

I think I'm making progress in relating to other people and cultivating friendships.  I certainly don't want a replay of the church lady group.  And, I'm smart enough to know, if it happens again, shame on me.

Please enjoy Bill Engvall.  He cracks me up.